Luke: 0:00

It all ties into my change because I was that lazy person I was that manipulator, I was a selfish person doing things that benefited me. And I don't want to be like that I want to be a good person I want to I want to be a person that I would want to be friends with.

Melissa Bright: 0:16

Welcome to the bright side of life, a podcast where people share their personal stories of struggles, pain and grief. But through all of that, they are still able to find the joys in life. Hello, bright ciders. And welcome to another episode of the bright side of life. I am your host, Melissa Bright. And last week I did forget to mention, but I wanted to thank you so much for everyone that voted for me for the top 50 moms in podcasting in podcast magazine, because of your votes, I came in at number seven. So I just wanted to say, guys, thank you, thank you, thank you so much, it is very much appreciated. And if you are in fact enjoying this podcast, the best way you can show your support is to subscribe or follow any on any of the platforms like Apple podcast, or Spotify, and then you'll be notified when a new episode drops. And if you haven't wrote a review, I would greatly appreciate it. If you did, it really helps the podcast become more discoverable to new listeners. So you can leave a review directly on Apple podcast. Or you can go to my website at the bright side of life podcast.com slash reviews. For today's guest, I am talking with Luke from the Luke loses podcast and on his podcast he shares about his life, fighting with anxiety, food addiction and obesity. He has lost over 400 pounds in the last seven and a half years. But weight isn't the only thing he's trying to lose. He's also trying to lose the unhealthy lifestyle. Most importantly, he wants to become a better person. And today he's going to share how exactly he's doing that. I am going to let Luke tell us a little more about his podcast because it coincides with his story. So Luke, thank you so much for being here today. And how are you doing?

Luke: 2:23

I'm well, thanks for having me here. And congrats on number seven in the moms category.

Melissa Bright: 2:29

Thank you very, very much. So can you talk to me a little bit about your podcast? And what inspired you to make your podcast in the first place?

Luke: 2:40

Yes, so I I wanted to make like a journal. But I don't like writing. And I found a platform that I could just record my audio and go to town with it. So I did. And I put my Instagram on there just in case anybody did hear it. I didn't expect anybody to listen. And I got some feedback. So I decided to go ahead and start, like created into a real podcast where I you know, talk to other people and interview and whatnot. So yeah, that's where it all started was just a audio journal. And a lot of people you know, relate to it, my I've got food addiction, I I'm in a program, it's a 12 step program to help with overeating, and you know, anything, anorexia, bulimia, binge eating all sorts of different things. So on that, that's where that also played in apart with the podcast because I go to these video meetings, and I talk to people who I connect with that are going through the same thing that I am, right. So it's really nice to be able to just talk about it and it's it's almost a therapy session. Just go on record and talk.

Melissa Bright: 3:58

Right and I have never even considered the audio journal. And I love I love that you just said that because I hate writing also, I won't do it like I I started and I like get like three days in and then I'm like I don't want to write anymore. But I want to be able to have something to go back to so then I consider typing out a journal. But I really like what you said about like the audio journal because you can go back then actually hear your voice hear how you are your mood that day and see how far you've come so on and so forth. So you have my gears like go and now like Melissa just talking to the microphone like you normally do that could be your journal. So I

Luke: 4:44

I did it just so like because I'm trying to lose 170 pounds and I wanted to be able to go back in three months when I have those days that it's like I don't want to do this. Right. I can listen and you know, get a little bit of motivation and go back to what my Why in the first place?

Melissa Bright: 5:01

Right, exactly. Oh, I love it. Thank you. I seriously I think I'm gonna start doing that just come in here and record my my journal entry. So thank you for that. But let's go ahead and get to your story. So, Luke, let's go back to your childhood you said as a young child, you remember loving food. Can you tell us you what you remember about your love of food at that young age and kind of like what that looked like for you?

Luke: 5:27

Yeah, I just I loved eating, it was almost like a pacifier is the best way to explain it. I I remember stealing food out of the kitchen sneaking downstairs, I actually just had this conversation with my mom, my dad would stay up really late, and his bedroom door was open. And when the TV went dark, I would sneak across into the kitchen and just read the snack drawer. Whatever I could. And I just, I was obsessed with it. I stole change jars from my family, and would ride my bike three miles to the store to spend $10 on 50 cent snack cakes. Yeah, and just just go to town. I just I loved it. I love the whole the whole process of eating the feeling that it gave me the the happiness that I thought I was getting from, you know that that cookie or that snack cake, or whatever the case may be?

Melissa Bright: 6:26

Right? Did you did at that point at that young age? Did anybody ever say anything to you like in terms of your family? Like, hey, you know, don't eat sugars? Or don't eat this much? Or did they notice anything? Or was it just like, You're just a kid and you're just eating food?

Luke: 6:45

Yeah, no, I, again, I did a Mother's Day Special with my mom. And I was asking her these kinds of questions. Yeah. And she, she said she didn't notice me overeating or eating too much until like Middle School. Okay, and I stayed pretty skinny, up until about sixth grade, but I was on medication for ADHD. And once I got off of that, that's when I kind of ballooned up and you actually seen weight being put on and I gained it real fast after that.

Melissa Bright: 7:16

So you said just now in middle school is when you really started to see you actually gaining weight from from eating? And then you said that in your email that people started to call you fat. And everyone called you that? And how did how did that make you feel at that time?

Luke: 7:36

So what what I meant by that was, that was my nickname, I went to a private school and that wasn't very big, but I was the biggest kid. And that was just, you know, hey, fat, how you doing? And I hated it. But I kind of use that that humor, I became the, you know, the fat funny guy that hid behind that humor. Right? And in Spanish class, my name became data, data dsos, which is you know, sausage fingers. So it just it all tied in and and I hated it, but I'd never let I never let on people would always bring me food that, you know, just different friends and stuff that would just here Do you want my lunch? And I know you could eat it? Or Yeah. You know, see if Luke can eat this much food and it just became a part of who I was.

Melissa Bright: 8:29

Right? At that point. It was never really a derogatory thing. Like they weren't calling you that to necessarily be little you it was more of a just that's my nickname. And nobody could obviously see inside. Like, that does hurt but whatever. I'm here kind of an eye. That's what my name is. So now I just have to go with it and be funny. Is that Is that how it was? You weren't really bullied or anything?

Luke: 8:59

No, I wasn't bullied, but like, you know, kids can be mean and they don't realize it. So right. Yeah, like you said with the nickname and stuff it sucked. I hated it. But I just I rolled rolled with it because I didn't want to show pain or right. I wanted to I wanted friends and to be friendly and everybody to like me.

Melissa Bright: 9:20

Right? And that's probably that. Thinking about it, that's probably what a lot of you know kids did, because obviously you can't tell right now, but I'm six feet tall. And I was probably 510 511 in middle school, maybe a little bit shorter, but I was taller than all the boys. Definitely taller than all the girls. And I would be called and in high school. It wasn't as bad because I think the guys kind of had like a crush on me because I was tall. But that still didn't mean I didn't have a complex like I'm sitting here literally looking down at all these guys that I'm like, Well, I can't date you are you are you so even though you were called Like legs or I think, stilts or something like that. It's funny, but at the same time, you kind of do get that that complex because I'm like, Yeah, yeah, but I know how I feel. And I feel like I'm towering over everybody. So that doesn't make me feel good. So I can relate a little bit to, before we go any further, if you could go back to seventh grade, what would you tell your seventh grade self, and that I'm just going to leave that to open interpretation to anything that that you would maybe say to yourself in seventh grade,

Luke: 10:34

I would probably tell myself that this doesn't matter. None of this, that you know how everything in school was a huge deal. You know, like, whatever the case may be, I would tell myself that there might be three or four people after high school that you still talk to, but these people don't matter. Don't worry about them. Don't worry what they think just be you and enjoy life.

Melissa Bright: 11:04

Yeah, that's great. That's great advice. I wish we could all go back and say those same things, because that would definitely be the exact same thing that I would say for sure. Let's skip forward to after high school graduation, what what was life like then? What were you doing? Things like that?

Luke: 11:24

So I moved out, right away after school. My dad always joke, you know, when I graduate, he's going to get me suitcases as my gift. So I can I'm like, well, where are we going, dad, we're not going anywhere you are. So I moved out, I moved in with a girl. And, you know, it was right across the street from a gas station. So I was over there constantly eating gas station, food, whatever the case may be. And I gained weight pretty quick. Just more and more, because instead of eating what mom was making me, or making the family, I was eating McDonald's and all sorts of junk food and just ballooned up even more. And I, I graduated school, I think at 270. And I got up to like, 380 was my my biggest in like my early 20s. Yeah, and yeah, it was, I was fat factory worker. So most of the time most third shift, so I'd sleep and eat and work is about all I would do.

Melissa Bright: 12:32

Right? Did anybody ever say anything to you, like, out of concern? For your weight?

Luke: 12:39

No, not really. Oh, I mean, I come from a family where we do have a lot of bigger people. And it you know, my sister was really big. She and she just recently lost a bunch of weight. And just, it was it was normal, it was abnormal to be overweight. Sure. And, and again, I hit it really well with with the jokes and stuff. And that that went into family and friends and everything like my entire life was just just cover up your feelings. Don't show your sad Don't show your you're hurting.

Melissa Bright: 13:16

Right. And if you I feel like sometimes, you know, obviously, if you are the one that's acting happy, and you're joking, and you're funny, well then nothing's wrong. Right? Like, he must be fine. And sometimes people, maybe they won't, and I don't want to speak for everybody, but they might not find it their responsibility to be concerned for you like, well, Luke's fine, he seems happy. he's joking. Like, who am I to ask him or to be concerned for his health or whatever, you know, especially at that young age, I know, you're only in your 20s but, you know, still, it's just kind of one of those things. Who am I to say anything? So,

Luke: 14:00

I I, I was the first one to make jokes. You know, if something were to happen, or if if I knew I was gonna be anxious, I would crack a joke and and be funny about it. So I could point it out. And like, look at my flaw. Yep. So instead of somebody else pointing it out, and me feeling bad. Yep. I can just, you know, roll with it.

Melissa Bright: 14:26

Yeah, that's the exact same way that I've actually been for a really long time because I will point out my flaw. So I whatever you have in whatever you're thinking in your head, I've already pointed it out. So you can't say that and you don't have anything over me. Like, I mean, it could be anything like Yes, I know. I have a pimple on my face. You don't need to tell me I already know or whatever it is. I would do it all the time. I mean, probably. I'm 35 now I still sometimes do it. Not as bad because my boyfriend's really told me like, you don't have to do that Melissa, like it's a complete defenseman. aneurysm because we're so worried about what other people are going to think. So I definitely understand. Okay, so talk to me about when you finally decided that you wanted to make this change. And really like, what was your breaking point? That, that this, this change and this decision came.

Luke: 15:22

So I started to try to lose weight for the first time and 2013 I just, I was ready to make a difference. My buddy was like, I want to go to the gym, I'm like, Sure, I'll go with you. And every, every time that I lost weight up until this time, it was just restrict my calories. Because if I eat less and move more, I'm going to lose weight. And that worked. I mean, like you said, I've lost over 400 pounds, and it's super easy to lose weight. But for me, it's super hard to keep it off because I'm eating, you know, I'm starving myself. So the moment I start eating, I gain so much weight so fast. So this time it was October 4, was the day that I actually started to eat clean.

Melissa Bright: 16:14

Up. 2020 Yep. Okay.

Luke: 16:18

And I went to the doctor and August and September, I got some work done. They were like, you know, I want you to take a sleep apnea test, I want you to get bloodwork done, you need to do this, you need to do that. And the doctor's words, were when you have a stroke, I need you're gonna have to do this or when you have a heart attack, she didn't say if or if it happens, it's just be prepared. It's coming.

Melissa Bright: 16:40

Right? When that make you feel did that scare you at all?

Luke: 16:45

Oh, yeah. I I'm the kind of person that the doctor told me I was pre diabetic years ago. And I never went back. Because I didn't want them to tell me I was diabetic. So if they don't have a doctor doesn't tell me it's not official. Yeah. So I yeah, the The doctor was like, we need you to do all these tests come back in a month. And I didn't do any of the tests. I didn't do anything she wanted me to. And I went back and she's like, well, if you didn't do anything, why, why are we even here. And I brought up that I love to eat, my wife even has caught me eating in my sleep, she'll walk out in the kitchen, and I'd be eating and I talked to the doctor about that. And she recommended the binge eating groups and overeating groups on Facebook just to find a community. And I was like, Well, I'm not gonna do that. Because, you know, that's ridiculous. And

Melissa Bright: 17:38

so, I'm gonna stop you there. So what made you because I just want to know, like, what is going through your head? So what did you think like, was ridiculous about these groups? Like, um,

Luke: 17:49

I just, I don't have a problem. I just like to eat. You know, there's, I enjoy food and food is supposed to make you feel good. Okay, so I think I'm just eating. You know, I my thought was that I just couldn't keep the weight off. I you know, there was something wrong with me. I it's, it's not that I'm binge eating or, you know, overeating. It's just, I don't want to continue working out. I don't want to continue to lift weights and all that. So I, when when she told me the binge eating and overeating groups, it was kind of, you know, that's, it's strange to me, and to, for somebody to be addicted to food. But I still think that's, that's, it's it's embarrassing to talk about. It's crazy to talk about because, right? There's people out here with needles in their arm. And there's me in the refrigerator. But I did. I was having a bad day. And I joined one of the groups on Facebook. And I just was reading it. And I'm like, wow, these these people are saying the same thing that I'm doing the same thing that I'm going through, right, it blows your mind. And I was having a bad day. My anxiety, anxiety was high. I'm not sure what was going on. But I made a post saying I you know, I just feel like eating. And I think that that count, or that message, or that post got probably 50 some comments. Yeah, and about 10 messages. And one of the messages was a friend of mine that I'm good friends with. Now. He's actually my sponsor in this 12 step program. And he was just asking me questions, you know, how do you feel what's going on this and that, and I didn't realize it then. But I realized now that he was asking me these questions to use it on me. You know, I say you use it. I mean, what like, Well, in this 12 step program, it says that I'm unpacking powerless over food, you know, I'm food controls what I do food controls how I live. And he brought it up. He's like, well, Doesn't that seem like, you know, food might control you a little bit and like, well, you're smart. But so I started doing that. And then he introduced me to the meetings, and I started going to meetings on zoom. And I've been to meetings with 300 people. And every one of the people that are in there knows what I'm going through. Either they're going through it, or they've been through it, and they have the tools to help me get through it. Yeah. So it's just, it's amazing.

Melissa Bright: 20:42

Right? Okay, so we're gonna back up just a little bit, because I am extremely intrigued by the whole mental process, because it is a lot of it, this is a mental thing. So up until this point of basically, I know you said October 2020, is when you started getting serious about your weight again, prior to that, did you have any education on in terms of how you're going to lose weight? What? Like you said, you just exercised and you just lost the weight and you restricted your calories. Did you? Was there anything else that you tried to do? Or Had you ever seen a doctor prior to that, that you even considered that you might have had a you know, you're addicted to food, or binge eating or anything that ever did this ever crossed your mind?

Luke: 21:40

No, not really. I went to a class with a friend of mine who was getting the surgery, the weight loss surgery. And he was like, I've got to go sit in you know, if you want to come in, come with me. I would like somebody to come with me. So I'm like, sure, you know, I'll sit in and I was I was seeing these, you know, before and after pictures and these success stories with the surgery. And I was like, well, man, you know, maybe I should get the surgery because these people seem like they I'm lazy. I'm a lazy person. Right. So I didn't say that earlier. But I don't like where again, I don't like you know, doing things that I don't want to do. And that was my first thought was like, I can get the surgery and I don't have to exercise. I don't have to do things this this will fix everything. Right. And I I never I never tied it into with binge eating and overeating. But I've always been. I've always over ate. And I've got story after story that I could tell about about that were I thought it was normal to go to the buffet and have eight plates and undo your pants and feeling horrible. Yeah, but yeah, but besides that, like I never, I never thought that it was a problem. I thought it was normal. I thought you know, everybody kind of, you know, over ate. Right? You know, just your metabolisms better than mine, or, you know, like you like going to the gym. I just, I didn't I didn't think that it was like a mental issue. And that's exactly what it is. For me this time around I feel much more confident in losing the weight because I know that it's it's a mental game. I kept my head right there's there's another podcast that I listened to he's he's an amazing guy. His his motto is to change your body, you have to first change your mind. Right? And, and that's exactly what it is. I have to I have to have my head right before I can. I can even work on my body.

Melissa Bright: 23:40

Yeah, you also said in your email, and I'm curious to ask this. But somewhere along this line between 2013 and 2020, you did meet your you met somebody but now she is your wife. And that kind of contributed to you leaving the gym you said it was really you know, once you met her, all you wanted to do was hang out with her which we can all relate like, it's really hard to stay disciplined. Sometimes when we meet people, we want to go out to dinner and have all those great meals. But at one point you said you would manipulate and you would lie. And I don't know if that's that you meant specifically just to your wife, but I really appreciate your honesty because I feel like and you can correct me if I'm wrong, but I feel like these are things that you have recently admitted to yourself that maybe you didn't know back when you were doing that that that's what you were doing. So can you kind of explain what you mean by the manipulation and lying part.

Luke: 24:39

Yeah, so I i've always manipulated I I was talking to my mother about this recently that I found out young that if I said things and if I did things a certain way I could get whatever I wanted. And an example with that is there was a skateboard that I wanted. That was like 180 bucks. Mom didn't want to buy it. For me, and I threw a fit and long story short, I got a new skateboard. And I've never learned how to skateboard. I had this really awesome skateboard that didn't have a scratch on it or anything. But yeah, I would. I could, I could answer things and talk to you based on your reaction to, to say what you want to hear. And yeah, that, that even goes with like girlfriends over the years, I would date this girl who was into rap music, and I would start to get into rap. And I would, you know, wear certain shirts that have, you know, certain artists on it, or whatever. And country I was born, born and raised country, you know, and I love you know, country music now. But if a girl like country music more than rock, I'm strictly in the country, if if she likes rap, or rock, or whatever the case may be, I dated a girl that, you know, had bright colored hair, and piercings, and that's what I did is I, you know, I dyed my hair red, and I got my lip and nose pierced and

Melissa Bright: 26:07

right.

Luke: 26:08

And it was kind of just to conform to, to you. And the as for the manipulation, like, especially with my wife, she, I would tell her that, you know, we'd have a fight over whatever the case may be. And I would tell her that, I'm going to make it right, I'm not going to do that, or I'm not gonna say this, I'm not gonna act like that anymore. A week would go by and you know, everything would cool down, and I'd go right back to my old ways, and I knew that, all I'd have to do is tell her again, that it's gonna be better, it's gonna be different. And that's with any any woman that I've been with, I've always, I've always been like that. And I just, I'm very selfish. And again, lazy, you know, like, cleaning the house. I, my wife works as a supervisor at a factory, and I'm a stay at home dad right now. And I would clean the house to a certain point. And on Saturdays, when mom's home is our cleaning day, because mom cleans the house so much better than me. And that's what I would say. And it would always be an argument, but she would clean and it would look amazing, because I didn't I didn't want to do the deep cleaning like she did. Right. And I mean, that's not fair to her. Yeah, this is, even though she has this job. Dishes was her thing. Laundry was my thing. She would do the dishes, I would wash laundry, leave it in the basket. And then on Saturdays on our cleaning day. Let's all fold the laundry. So I get out of doing all this work. So it's just and it all ties into my chains. Because I was that lazy person. I was that manipulator. I was a selfish person doing things that benefited me.

Melissa Bright: 28:01

Right.

Luke: 28:02

And I don't want to be like that. I want to be a good person. I want to I want to be a person that I would want to be friends with.

Melissa Bright: 28:07

Yeah. How old? Are you? Oh, can I ask you that?

Luke: 28:11

Oh, man, I'm not ready for that question. Okay. I think 30

Melissa Bright: 28:15

you're young, you're young. Okay. Well, I'm 30. I'm almost 36. But I was just curious, because a lot of these things that you're talking about the manipulation. Now, I never considered myself a manipulative person. Truly, I didn't, I was not aware that I was doing it. But there would be certain actions that I would do say I would overreact or get angry at my boyfriend. Now, the anger was not warranted. So it's not like he truly did something to piss me off. It's I got angry for no reason. Let's just say he didn't pick something up, and I got angry. But then I would then apologize to him. Like, I'm sorry that I got so angry at you, I won't do this again. And I've been in that same cycle we've almost been dating five years now. And at one point, like, I kind of told myself, Melissa, if you don't change the sorry, is just manipulating if you truly don't mean that you're not going to try to fix your anger issues, or you're not going to try to not flip out or not try to be so sensitive about things or treat him like that. That's just manipulating him, even if you don't consciously realize it. I'm not saying oh, I'm just gonna say sorry. So he's not mad at me. I knew I was doing that. But I didn't. I did truly think I was getting going to change, but I wouldn't do the work to change. Does that make sense? And and so for you to like consciously say like, No, I was aware of what I was doing like I for sure was, but it it is true. And I feel like that's so important to kind of say now because whether you are intentionally manipulating or You are just saying sorry, or I won't do that next time, but you have no intentions of actually making that change than that is in fact, manipulation. Have you admitted these things to your wife has she seen a change in you in terms of the manipulation and lying and not being selfish and things like that? Thank you to better help for sponsoring this podcast. I have been using better help for almost a year now. And the progress that I have made in my mental health has been incredible. I just want to tell you, my listeners a little bit about better help to see if it might be a great fit for you. Their mission is making professional counseling accessible, affordable and convenient. So anyone who struggles with life challenges can get help anywhere, anytime they offer four ways to get counseling, from video sessions, phone calls to live chat and messaging. It's also available worldwide, you will be matched with your counselor and 24 hours or less better help offers a broad expertise in their network. So it provides users with access to specialists, they might not be able to find locally, financial aid is also available for those who qualify. So visit better help.com slash bright side of life, that's better help.com slash bright side of life, join over 500,000 people taking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional. And for your first month, you're going to receive 10% off by being a listener of the bright side of life. So let them know that I sent you by using the link better help.com forward slash bright side of life. That's better help.com forward slash b r i g h t side of life. The link will also be in the description section of this episode.

Luke: 31:49

Oh, yeah. So I'm also a huge advocate for therapy. Her and I do couples therapy, I do therapy on my own. And it's, it's amazing. So yeah, if you if you don't do it, or if people don't do it, I highly recommend it. It's, for the longest time I'm like, you know, I'm not gonna go in there and tell my problem to some stranger. But oh, man, it makes such a difference. And they give you these tools that, you know, any any issue that her and I get into, we know how to handle it. And a big part of it is communication. You have to communicate, right. But yeah, I've talked to her about it. And she's actually checked me a couple times with it, you know, and really, you know, recently I say recently since October. She she'd say, Well, do you think, you know, that's, that's the best thing to say? Or do you think we should we should do that? And, you know, I'm like, No, we shouldn't do that. But, right. Yeah, it's really hard to talk about these things. And I've even talked to my mother about it. And that was a bit I'm a big mama's boy, I I'm the baby. I I it was really hard to to look my mom in the face and say to her that, you know, I used her growing up and I i did things just to get my way. But I did it and I you know like with my podcast, it's you know, it's my journal it's it's a way to, to put it out there in the world and it helps me talking about it. It helps me keep me in check when i when i do bring that up, you know and with with her, my wife, Cheyenne. She's, she gets it and she knows what to look for now because I've kind of went all out and same thing with my therapist. The day the day I met my therapist. I told her I was like listen, I'm a liar. I'm a minute manipulator I do this. Just be on the lookout for it.

Melissa Bright: 33:48

Yeah. So when did you can I ask when you got when you started therapy and what made you decide to go to therapy?

Luke: 33:55

So we started couple therapy first, okay, in about October, okay. Her and I were struggling really bad it was we we got married in 2019 we've been together since I think 2013 2014 and she's told me now that she so we've got three three kids their their her kids are stepkids to me. She's gone through a divorce once before and she told me recently that she was just waiting for the youngest to get old enough to go through another divorce because it was it was over. And we decided this was it. We're gonna we're gonna try it and we're going to be open we're going to be honest, we're not going to try to tell each other what we want to hear. And if it if it's not gonna work this time, we both kind of agreed to just end the relationship. Sure. And, and that's and that's what I hope we can do. But you know, It's hard. But we've we've never been as good as we are. Now, like I said earlier, like we can communicate and that that therapy just makes all the difference. And we're really good now. Like it's a, I don't even know what else to say about it. It's just, it's amazing.

Melissa Bright: 35:18

Yeah, I think with I mean, in terms of therapy, I'm a huge advocate for therapy, I obviously go to therapy, and it is crazy. And, you know, I listened to your podcast, and it's so crazy. But it's also so admirable that you do admit these things. Because as you know, with your 12 step program, the first step to doing anything is admitting whatever, that you have a problem, whether it's manipulation, lying, so on and so forth. But also, that's what my therapist, my therapist, when I first started seeing her, she's like, Melissa, you are so self aware of the issues that you do have, that this is going to be a walk in the park, because sometimes it takes years for even people to admit that they have like that they're manipulating, and they're lying, or whatever it is. So the fact that you even said that to your therapist, they probably were like, Okay, well, well, at least we got that that's a huge step, you know, because. And that just tells me that I think that you truly do want to get better and be a better person, because you could have had that and you could have probably manipulated, well, I don't want to say probably, but you could have lied and said whatever, but you're not going to get it you wouldn't get anything out of therapy, what what would that help, you know,

Luke: 36:40

I, I'm right now I'm choosing to do better. And that's, that's what I talk about a lot is I want to do better tomorrow than I did today. My options were go through life, just day by day, you know, dealing with a wife that wants to leave me that's unhappy. Right. And, and me, in the marriage, like, I knew the marriage was horrible. I knew the relationship was horrible, but to you and to everybody outside of the relationship, I've got a wife, I've got kids, I've got a house, we're doing good. And we'd come home and it would be miserable. So my options were continue that you know why to lie to other people and lie to myself, or get things right. And, you know, like, the weight loss is just a small portion of what I want to do what I want to change in my life. Yeah, I want to lose 170 pounds, but I don't want to, I don't want to just lose the weight, I want to I want to live a healthy life, I want to have a good relationship with food, I want to have an awesome relationship with my family and my friends. And I just want to be a better person and do good things. Right. And, and I'm just I'm sick of sick of being selfish. I'm sick of being, you know, a bad person, a selfish person.

Melissa Bright: 38:08

And I seriously like I cannot commend you enough for for admitting that because especially for a man, I know, that's not always easy to admit your faults. But I think there does come a time that you know, like, I'm not even happy. Like, the rest of these people aren't happy. I know, my wife wants to leave me but I'm not even happy. So like, something does have to change. And it does. Unfortunately, I don't want to say unfortunately, fortunately, it does have to start with you, because you can't be miserable. But then try to make your wife happy or you be miserable. And then try to make your you know her three kids happy. Because it's definitely going to show. So I want to I still do want to talk a little bit because I know obviously the story is a little bit about you, you know the the weight loss journey that you're on so is there a way and Does your wife knows that know this in terms to best support you in your journey that you're going through now? And it doesn't specifically have to be the weight loss, but I but I am curious, because I know sometimes you you need that support? And you want them to understand so have you one told her in two? If so, how does she best support you? And this is kind of to like help my listeners if they might be in a similar situation and people might not understand like, how can they support me if I have binge eating or food addiction? What have you.

Luke: 39:39

Yeah, so with with my wife, I'm going to I'll touch a little bit on this before I found these groups and you know, I found binge eating and overeating. She was just you know, just eat less Luke. That's all you got to do. You know don't don't complain, just exercise and eat last year. Lose Weight. And it wasn't until I found the overeating groups that she understood it. And it's not just a, you know, I like to eat, it's, you know, I am hooked on eating. And she's joined meetings with me, she's listening to the stuff, I've got a book that, you know, we we go through together sometimes. And with with my overeating and my binge eating, I wrote down trigger foods, foods that would put me into a binge. So for me, I love to eat anything, it doesn't matter what it is, if, if it's, you know, 10 pounds a lattice, I'll try to put it down or if it's, you know, potato salad, whatever the case may be, I'll eat whatever I whatever I can binge on but you know, peanut butter is a big one for me, that's, that's on the top of my list. If I have peanut butter, I cannot just have, you know, two tablespoons, I've gotta eat and eat meat. Yeah. And she knows all my trigger foods. She knows, if she sees me, you know, reaching for the jar peanut butter, she'll be more, you know, right conscious of what's going on. She also Thanksgiving was was a big one. I didn't I didn't binge but I wanted to. And she, you know, half I had finished my meal. And I'd reach over and I'd grab something else. And I you know, eat it and then reach over and grab something else. And she told me afterwards, she said there was just a look in my eye. That was just like, you know, I was eyeballing everything circling the table trying to you know, pinpoint what can I shove in my mouth? Right. And she she said to me, she's like, babe, let's go cuddle on the couch. Because we were sitting at a table waiting for our kids to finish. So I knew what she was doing. She was trying to pull me away. But it worked. And we went and sat down. And you know, she she's like, well, I'm gonna put the food away. I don't, you know, you sit here and have a good time and enjoy the day I'm gonna put the food away which, again, that's her saving me because if I'm putting the food away, I'm going to snack. So she Yeah, she she knows. She knows how to watch out for those things. And it's my, it's my thing. Right? Like, so it's it's ultimately up to me.

Melissa Bright: 42:23

Right? Like,

Luke: 42:24

she's sleeping. Sometimes she's working sometimes. So I have to keep myself in check. But we're really honest with each other. I tell her these things. Like when I there's there's been a couple times that I didn't talk about Benjin I didn't talk about I want to binge. And I did and I over ate and I binge ate like 3000 calories in one setting. And the the just going back to that communication if if I talked to her, she talks to me, she she's my number one fan with this. And you know, like I said, she just keeps me in check. It was super bowl. And I got an email saying if you order $40 for the wings, you get $40 where the wings free. And I was like babe, like, we can eat on that for days. And she's like, well, we really do that. Well, we really, you know, save it for tomorrow. Right? Like, no, we probably wouldn't. You know, I love wings. So, yeah, she's just kind of that. I refer to her like that little angel on my shoulder. Ya know, kinda like, Don't Don't do it.

Melissa Bright: 43:35

Right. So, question for you. Has it always been that way? Because I do know, with people with binge eating, it's usually really well, usually binge eating is oftentimes done in in privacy because they are shameful around what what's happening. So Has it always been that way that if she would say, Hey, babe, you know, maybe maybe you shouldn't do this, maybe we shouldn't get wings. Because oftentimes, with people that do have binge eating disorder that makes them feel worse, like more shameful, reminding them like I do have a problem. So Has it always been that way for you? kind of walk me through that?

Luke: 44:20

No. So she knew I could eat. She knew I could, you know, put food away but she didn't realize it was a problem. And like you said, a lot of it was done in secret. Like I would go and pick up food for the family and I would, you know, pick stuff up for me, and then eat it on the way home and get rid of the evidence and the wrappers and all that. But she she knew I could eat a lot and if she ever did confront me on it, I would just you know, you're complaining. You're you're, you know, being busy. Just let me do what I want to do.

Melissa Bright: 44:52

Yeah. And I think and the reason why I wanted to ask the support thing is because a lot of I mean this has to go into stages, right? Like, first of all, you have to admit that you had you were doing this the food addiction binge eating, then it's like, okay, so as a family, what whoever it is, if it's your spouse, if it's a family member, how can I best support you? Because the answer is not always as simple as, as we want it to be, of course, we want to help. But I also want to make this clear, and I am no, in no way a binge eating expert, but I've done a little bit of research on it. But this isn't as simple as just discipline, it really is a psychological thing in your, in your guys's brain that it's not, it's not just, we'll just go work out and just don't eat. It's not that easy. And for outsiders. Sometimes we just think like, Why Why? Why don't you do this like? So I just want to shed light on that a little bit. Because I think the most important thing is, is to have that conversation with the person that you are wanting to help. But don't take over control of it, like your wife trying to tell you what to do, because the conversation needs to be had like, what can I do best to support you? Instead of we'll just eat less babe? Like, that's not the answer for you. It's not like it is it is like, of course, yes. Like we know, that's the key to losing weight is to like calorie deficit, but at the same time that binge eating disorder goes way, way deeper than just the simplicity of of discipline. And so I just want people to understand that. And like I said, I'm not an expert, but I've done a little bit of research on that. So it's important to ask, like, what is what is how can I support you? And and what would help you what would not help you? What could possibly send you into making guilty or feeling guilty or shameful? or what have you. So just

Luke: 47:04

to touch on that. Like, I'm kind of just realizing it right now, as we're talking. There's been times where I'll have an argument with my wife. And I told her this, I told her this recently, I was like, You're making me want to binge? And I was like, thinking about it now, man. Wow, that's what a jerk. But yeah, it's, it's definitely it's my struggle. She's just helping me the best she can. And I've done research on it. I did an episode on binge eating and overeating. And they the food addiction. What a cheeseburger does to me in my brain is the same thing that you know heroin affects and an addicts brain hits the same pleasure centers in the brain. It's I mean, it's I'm not comparing food addiction to heroin addiction, but it does hit the same the same spots in the brain and that feel good and that that want. But it's an amazing thing. I've I've done a lot of research into what and like I, I hate saying, Oh, I'm I'm a food addict. But I had a binge a couple months ago, and it was just I was begging myself to stop I had tears rolling down my face saying please stop. And there I am drinking the marinade that the pork chops were in. And I just I could not stop. And it's it's definitely a struggle. And my my wife wasn't here when that happened. And I made too much dinner. I made more than enough for everybody. And she you know, she would have caught

Melissa Bright: 48:58

So you said you you made extra food?

Luke: 49:02

Yeah, so I made a bunch of pork chops. I made rice I made potatoes. And I didn't put it away right away. And that was a part of the the bins but if like I said my wife would have been there. She could have you know, do you really need 12 pork chops for five people? Right and and it was just I couldn't I couldn't stop I couldn't you know, I would I was dipping the spoon from the potatoes in the rice into the marinade. Eat mint. I was it was horrible. embarrassing, but it's definitely a struggle.

Melissa Bright: 49:40

Yeah. Do you feel knowing what you know now a little bit like about binge eating disorder, food addiction. Do you feel that you could do this without one support and I don't mean support from like your wife but let's say you're over Oh eaters anonymous, or your binge eating groups? Do you feel that you could have done this by yourself?

Luke: 50:07

So I actually released an episode today called back to the basics. And I, I haven't been going to the meetings. And I've been struggling. And I've been, I haven't been bingeing, but I have been overeating. And I, I brought that up and I I need to start going back to those meetings, because those meetings, they do help. And I wasn't taking it as serious as I was, you know, three months ago, right? So I think it truly does make a huge difference. Just, you know, like I said, almost a therapy session, I said in these, these, these video chats, and every person that speaks, I'm like, man, I know, I know what you're going through. Right. And it helps me and it keeps me out of the kitchen.

Melissa Bright: 51:00

Yeah, yeah. What has? What has this whole journey been like? And I know, we've kind of talked about things that you've have realized, but what has this whole journey, let's say, starting from, however long since since you've been a kid, what has this journey been like? And what have you really learned about yourself along the way?

Luke: 51:24

So recently, as of like, understanding that I have these issues, noticing these issues, I thought I was kind of alone, for the most part and a lot of things, and I kept to myself a lot, you know, I had friends, but I, you know, like, like, you mentioned the the eating in private, like I would, I would do that I would rather stay at home than go out with my friends because I can, you know, great refrigerator. Right? But I I've realized that I'm not alone. And and that's the biggest thing that's helped me the most is just to know that there's, there's people out there that are going through the same thing that I can talk to. And I think that that's, that's why I like doing the podcast is I I want to be as honest and open with people because I know I'm not the only one. And I know there's people out there that are like I was, you know, last year struggling and not wanting to admit. And just, I wanna I want to maybe try to be that light that other people have been for me?

Melissa Bright: 52:41

Sure. Yeah, definitely. So with that being said, I know, at least on the episodes that I've listened to you do admit, like, sometimes you don't want to work out and you don't want to freakin restrict your calories. And I feel like that's so important for people to I don't even know if I want to say permission, but it's life isn't always going to be perfect. And I feel like sometimes at least for me, like being this perfectionist person, like, I have definitely been where if I fall off the wagon of eating clean, like, I just feel like I've backtracked 20 steps, and I get really, really hard on myself, but I feel like you know, you have you have admitted that like, I just don't want to do this today. And you know, I just want you to talk a little bit about that. And like about your your your honesty, in terms of all of that because I feel like it is so important because there are so many people out there struggling and they feel like I'm the only one that can't do this. I'm the only one that doesn't want to work out. I'm the only one that doesn't want to do this. And it's, it's simply not not true. So can you talk a little bit about the struggles and just even day to day, hour to hour? What have you? Yeah, so

Luke: 54:01

you mentioned that if you slip up, you know how you feel and that's exactly how I was feeling I would eat clean and exercise for eight months. But if I ate a piece of cake, I might as well quit, because I just ruined everything. And that's so far from the truth because I now i don't think about if I mess up because I'm gonna there's gonna be a slip up I'm it's it's gonna happen. You can't You can't be nobody's perfect, right? And that that's where I'm at. Now I try not to say if because I know what's coming. I just don't know when there's going to be a slip up and all I have to do is I refer to it a lot as a road. I'm on this road and the final stop is just better. And I may pull over and you know change the tire or you know, rent a hotel room for the night but you I got to get back on that road and I got to keep going in that direction. And as long as I'm heading in the direction that I want to go in, I'm good. So when I mess up, I know I can't dwell on it, I can't. You know, there's nothing I can do now that the mess up has happened. I have to just push forward and the days that I don't want to go to the gym, the days that I don't want to eat clean are the days that I need to do it more than ever, because, for me, I know one day can turn into a week that can turn into a month really quick. Right? And it's so easy to backtrack for me. Yeah, I, I just have to, like I said, stay on that road. If I can, if I can stay on that road that I want to be on. Everything's golden.

Melissa Bright: 55:48

Yeah. I feel like and I feel you 100% because even with like, my working out, I can honestly admit 99.9999% of the time, I don't want to I don't I do not want to. I really try not to put a lot of thought into it. Because I will talk myself out of it faster than than anything. It's it's hard. It is. It's hard. You know, obviously, if it was easy, everybody in the world would would be doing it. And it just, I feel like sometimes people feel like, Oh, well, they. I mean, yes, I guess it does come down sometimes to discipline and motivation. But there are very, very few times that I actually want to go work out I think what motivates me is when I do finally start seeing results, but until you do you just feel like you're on this revolving like hamster wheel waiting to like, is this even working? Like what At what point Am I gonna see the progress. But I love what you said in terms of you now know, like, you admit to yourself, there is going to be a slip up, not there will never be because you know, that's just setting yourself up for failure. And when you set yourself up for those high standards, it's probably going to make you crash even harder. I know this coming from being a perfectionist, it's, it's hard, like, Oh, I'm gonna make this perfect thing. And then when you don't, you're like, you're pissed off at yourself and everything else. So I'm happy that you shed some light on that. What would you say to somebody that might be struggling the way you did no matter whether if they were you know, I know you didn't realize this at the time of even being a younger kid. But what would you say to somebody struggling right now? What are some steps? Or what would you encourage them to do? If somebody came to you right now instead, Luke, I feel like I could potentially have binge eating disorder, or I might be addicted to food. What? What can you do to help me What would you say to me?

Luke: 57:52

So the the biggest thing is you're not alone in these feelings. One thing, I'm huge, and I talked about it, and like almost every episode is accountability buddies is have have somebody there and even even make that post, like I joined those those groups on Facebook. And if I'm struggling, I'll make a post. And, you know, within minutes, I've got 30 people say and talk to me. So and and that helps, you know, if I, if I'm talking to them, I'm you know, I'm not in the refrigerator. But yeah, so that's that's probably the number one thing I would recommend is just find a community to have these conversations with, because because you're not alone. And there's people that can help you. Now, I refer to the 12 step program that I'm in as a 12 step program, because with with it being it is Overeaters Anonymous. And the website, I recommend la.org. They, a lot of these anonymous groups, or these programs don't like people to talk about it and to have it out there because if if I'm telling you my story, and I'm doing good. And I'm saying I'm an Overeaters Anonymous and I mess up, you might think well, overeaters, anonymous doesn't work. Same thing with AA or na, sure. So, but I do recommend going into that and just checking it out a way.org. There's, you know, there's a section on there where you can find a meeting, whether it's a phone, call in person, a video, whatever the case may be, and there's one usually every minute of the day, I happen to the video chats, and I keep my camera off, and I keep my mic off and I just listen and if I feel like talking, I'll you know, I'll raise my hand and unmute. Yeah, but that that, that has been probably the number one thing that's helped me and I think the the program is actually you know, I put more credit towards that with everything because it's not only these food issues that I have, it's it makes me want to be a better person, you know, and it touches every aspect of my life. I, I absolutely love it. I've looked for other groups for other things, you know, whatever the case may be, I'm like, well, man, if there's one for food, there might be one for video games, there might be one for this, there might be one for that. Yeah. And, you know, chances are there is and, you know, whatever it can do, whatever, whatever your issue, is it, I feel for me, it's made the most change.

Melissa Bright: 1:00:35

Yeah. And I feel like it's so important. Just to like point out like that, what that kind of was your first step to admitting like that maybe you did have a problem. And now, you want to seek help? And I feel like, it makes sense that sometimes like, they wouldn't want you to openly talk about it. But just like anything else with a or na, I'm very, yeah, I've just been around at all of my life in terms of a and na. But it's like, it falls back on the person if somebody is going to go and trip up and do drugs or drink alcohol. Again, it's not because the program didn't work. It's because they weren't ready to be clean and sober yet. It's not. I wouldn't blame that on a like, what did you not do for me that I made? I go, I wouldn't drink a beer. Like, I, at least for me, I don't think that's how it works. But maybe that's because I've just been around it so long that I wouldn't blame it on the program. You know, and also, I'm sure you've heard this before is like, it works. If you work it, it doesn't if you don't, so like you have to work the steps, you have to go to the meetings or you're right, it's not gonna work, and you're going to be out there drinking, eating, whatever, whatever it is that you're that you're doing. So can you shed some light on what you have come to learn the most about food addiction?

Luke: 1:01:52

I've learned a lot with

Melissa Bright: 1:01:55

or what would be your biggest takeaway or something that really became, like, changing for you whether it was I learned that this is like, psychological or whatever you feel that kind of helps you like, okay, now that I know that or now that I have this tool that helps me understand a little bit more.

Luke: 1:02:15

Yeah, I think, I think for me, the biggest, you know, lightbulb was when I when I found out that it is a mental game. Like I have to, I have to have my mind, right, I have to want it. And I have to be honest with myself, most at most, but you know, I try to be honest with everybody, because if I can be open, it's an accountability thing. And I don't want to let you down, I don't want to let myself down. I don't want to let my wife down. So knowing that it is a mental struggle, it almost makes it easier. You know, because I can I can look things up. I can I can Google, I can talk to people I can, you know, my therapist, I can I found a therapist that, you know, works with food addiction and binge eating. And it's it's a lot easier to communicate with somebody who, you know, works with that. Yeah, so yeah, just just getting my mind in that, that spot where it's not just eating less and moving more, it's, you know, it's an obsession. I gotta, I gotta work on it. And I got to work on it every day. One thing I love to say is, I heard this in a meeting is I was 136 days without a binge, and I binged. And the first meeting I went to, somebody said, it's not a day count. It's a it's a 24 hour program. So if I can get through the first 24 hours, I'm okay. So, the first 24 hours is every day, right? I can get through today. I'm good. And if I can get through tomorrow, I'm good. Don't think about the week Don't think about the years. Just think about right now. Yep. Yep.

Melissa Bright: 1:04:09

Oh, I love that. So looking back since October 2020. Do you are you proud of yourself for how come how far you've come and I don't just mean losing weight. I mean, with everything that you've mentioned from getting helped to joining these, these programs, are you proud of yourself? Have you taken the time to like self reflect on and to see how far you have really came in just, I mean, essentially, just a few short months.

Luke: 1:04:38

Not really, like I haven't really looked at it, I I just I keep telling myself, I want to do better. I just want to be a better person. I want to I want to be a person that, you know, other people are proud to, you know, to know and to be a part of. So I have Don't really looked at it like that, like I'm down 60 some pounds. I, you know, I do the therapy, I do the the tools that my therapists have given me, I, I started meditating, which was a big deal for me, because I've never been into that. But doing these things, it doesn't make me feel good. But I haven't really looked at it like, anything to be proud of. But I mean, I think I think I could be proud of that. Yeah.

Melissa Bright: 1:05:32

Well, I asked you that because, you know, I don't know you personally. But for you to come on to another podcast, I know that you have your own. But for you to come on here. And to say that I used to be manipulative. I used to lie, I used to do this. And since October, I go to couples therapy, I go to my own therapy. I've joined Overeaters Anonymous, I joined Facebook support groups, I want to be a better person, I have a journal that I talk about all of this to hopefully help people that aren't struggling in their own stuff. Like, Luke, you should be extremely proud of yourself, like, seriously, like, all those things I just listed off. And you've done that just since October. And I, and I only say this, because I'm extremely hard on myself sometimes. And I'm like, man, have I really changed that much as a person? And it's like, no, Yes, I have. And I it shows in my relationship with my boyfriend and with my daughter. And so I just want you to sometimes like self reflect on that. And I know that I'm not obviously in your everyday life, and I'm not in your marriage or anything. But just you talking today, in this podcast shows that you have definitely came such a long way in just these short, short few months. And I'm really excited to see how, how even further you get, because you're not just trying to lose the weight, you are literally trying to change your entire life. And for you to make that huge step. And to put in that work. It's a lot of work, like you said, and it can get exhausting. But you're still doing it. And it's not going to happen overnight all the time. But these little tweaks and changes that you do all the time is just awesome. And I just think you should be incredibly proud of yourself.

Luke: 1:07:28

Well, thank you. One thing we didn't talk about is I'm super emotional. And you're getting me choked up with with that. I really appreciate that.

Melissa Bright: 1:07:39

Yeah, I'm emotional, too. And we usually we usually do cry on this podcast. So if it happens, it happens. I yeah. But I want I I just know how hard I am on myself for things. And it doesn't have to be with food. It can be all kinds of other things. So please just give yourself some grace. And to know that you it's just amazing that you you want to do that. So thank you very much for that. And one of my questions was, you know, if you had any other resources, but you we've already stated the Overeaters Anonymous, which is Oh, a.org. There's Facebook support groups for binge eating food addiction, stuff like that, are you able to say like one that maybe somebody could look up that you've have found really helpful.

Luke: 1:08:27

So the one that I joined, that led me to oae was overeater support group. And it's, it's an amazing group, and there's tons of people in there that I connect with that, like I said, there's, there's constantly a post, and not only does it help me, like when I make a post, but I see other people making posts, and it's like, oh, I want to help this person, I want to talk to this person, I don't want them to, you know, struggle, I don't want them to binge. Alright, that one and then there's another one that I really like, it's weight loss support group for men. You know, it's just full of guys that are going through the same thing that I'm doing. And I know, I know, there's a ton out there with women as well. I just don't know what those are. But yeah, so like the the, the weight loss support group for men, the overeaters port group, and I actually started one with a couple friends. It's called trimming the fat weight loss support group and it's, it's so we're trying to make it to be just if you're struggling, if you're, you know, winning, whatever the case may be post in there, and, you know,

Melissa Bright: 1:09:41

Yeah, awesome. Well, I'll definitely get those links from you. So we can put it I can put it in the show notes for people. And then where can people find the Luke loses podcast?

Luke: 1:09:55

I've got a website it is. Luke loses podcast. com and I'm on Instagram, Facebook. I have a Twitter but I don't use it. But yeah, so the Luke loses podcast comm is the best spot because that's got everything linked to it.

Melissa Bright: 1:10:12

Perfect awesome and I definitely encourage people to check it out. It's awesome and Luke you get super raw and vulnerable and there's you know education in there I listened to your one all about like the food industry that one freakin blew my mind holy crap. But yeah, it's really good. Okay, well, I have one last question for you. And I always ask all my guests this. So Luke, in your own words, what does the bright side of life mean to you?

Luke: 1:10:42

I think I think it just ties in with doing better. Being being the person that we see on TV, the person that we see on Instagram and tik tok are average just trying to trying to be a good person. Ah,

Melissa Bright: 1:11:02

yes, I love it. And I just love every hearing everybody's different, different answers because it it really does. The bright side of life means very different things. For for everybody. And for you. It's as simple as just being a better person. And I just love that. So Luke, thank you so, so much for coming on here to share your story. I greatly appreciate it.

Luke: 1:11:26

Thank you.

Melissa Bright: 1:11:27

Thank you. Thank you for listening to this week's episode of the bright side of life. Luke story to me is one that takes courage to tell because he's admitting his faults. And I want to be clear, I don't mean with the food addiction or the binge eating, I mean that he came on my podcast and admitted that he was selfish. And he used to be a manipulator. And he used to lie. But now he wants to do better and be a better person. And I think for anyone that can admit that not only to themselves, but publicly, truly wants to make changes. So I really hope that his story resonated with you. And maybe there's some things that you want to work on to become a better person. I know that me personally, I'm always a work in progress. And I just want to be better than I was yesterday. And I also want to add that if you are interested in checking out any of the Facebook support groups that he had mentioned, or Overeaters Anonymous that those links are in the show notes of this episode. And I highly encourage anyone that is wanting to lose weight, the unhealthy lifestyle and the negative self image to check out Luke's podcast. It's a really awesome one. So once again, it's called the Luke loses podcast and the link to his show is also in the show notes. So like I mentioned at the beginning of the show, it would mean a lot to me if you would rate and review this podcast and that can be done at the bright side of life podcast comm slash reviews, or you can do that directly on Apple podcast. And lastly, if you know anyone that may need to hear Luke's story, please share it with them because we never know if this is the one that puts hope back in their heart.