Becoming the highest version of yourself. Kim and Tara's story of their own spiritual journey's and how it allowed them to find their purpose of serving.

July 27, 2021

Becoming the highest version of yourself. Kim and Tara's story of their own spiritual journey's and how it allowed them to find their purpose of serving.
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Kim and Tara first met 8 years ago and became fast friends before working together in the educational field. Once Covid hit, they lost their jobs and their identity with it. This began their spiritual awakening and continued path on a self-discovery journey.
Kim realized that she had repressed her traumatic childhood and was living with limiting beliefs and a scarcity mindset. Through her spiritual journey, she has become fulfilled, living with an abundant mindset, has found her inner spark and reconnected with her soul.
Tara grew up in an environment where she dealt with parentification, adultifiaction, and a narcissistic Step Mom. Her awakening brought awareness that patterns from her childhood kept presenting themselves. Their journey allowed them to find their purpose of serving others. It is now their hope to walk as many people as possible through their spiritual journey so they can become their higher selves.
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Transcript

Kim:

becoming your higher self is a spiritual journey. Most of us have no idea who we are at our core. You know, we've got all these like handprints and footprints all over us from life from different experiences and from people that we forgot long ago who we really are.

Melissa Bright:

Welcome to the bright side of life, a podcast where people share their personal stories of struggles, pain and grief. But through all of that, they are still able to find the joys in life. Hello, bright siders! And welcome to another episode of the bright side of life. I am your host, Melissa Bright. And if you are in fact enjoying this podcast, the best way you can show your support is to subscribe or follow on any of the platforms like Apple podcast, or Spotify and then you'll be notified when a new episode drops. And if you haven't wrote a review, I would greatly appreciate it. If you did, it really helps the podcast become more discoverable to new listeners. So you can leave a review directly on Apple podcasts. Or you can go to my website at the bright side of life podcast.com slash reviews. And today I am talking with Kim and Tara and they are spiritual empowerment coaches and they have a company called soulful healers. So we are going to be talking all things today about spirituality. Now just a little quick rundown Kim and Tara first met eight years ago, and they became fast friends before working together in the educational field. But once COVID had they lost their jobs and their identity with it, as we all can really relate to that. So this began their spiritual awakening, and continued on a path of self discovery journal journal journey. I can't talk today. So ladies, thank you so much for being here. How are you guys doing today?

Kim and Tara:

Thank you for having me. Great. We're super excited to share. We love talking all things spirituality. And we love sharing our story too, just in hopes that it reaches people the way that they need to be reached today.

Melissa Bright:

Yes, absolutely. And this is my first time that I've actually had two guests on at the same time. So I'm excited for this. And we're going to do great. And let's just go ahead and get into it. So I've kind of decided what we're going to do is I'm going to break things down into like Kim sharing a little bit about her story for first, then Tara sharing a little bit about her story, how you guys came together, and then how this spiritual journey and then everything kind of started. So that's what's gonna happen. I'm Kim. I'm going to kind of read just a little bit of an excerpt that you put on your bio if you don't mind me and then so people kind of know where we're coming from, and then we'll go from there. So on this for Kim, she had put that I repressed traumatic childhood. I repressed traumatic childhood and was living with limiting beliefs and a scarcity mindset. I lived in a home situation with a father who was unmedicated and mentally ill suffered from schizophrenic acts. How do I say that fective affective disorder and a mother who overworked to avoid the situation at home. My violent, aggressive, chaotic childhood had manifested itself into my adult life where I was working 60 hours a week unfulfilled and addicted to a chaotic lifestyle. Through my spiritual journey, I have become fulfilled living with an abundant mindset, and have found my inner spark and reconnected with my soul. I literally just like pulled that from the thing, obviously, and I didn't change anything. So I was trying to like change it to I change it. I love that fun stuff. Anyways, so let's talk a little bit about, uh, about your childhood. And you said that it was chaotic. And your dad was unmedicated. So kind of talk to me about what that looked like when you were a little girl.

Kim:

Sure. So my dad grew up. Let me go ahead and backtrack just a little bit. So when we were growing up, we thought that my dad just had manic depressive disorder, and maybe a touch of bipolar disorder at the time. I mean, think about it, like 30 years ago, they really weren't looking at mental health the same way that they were. My dad also has this ability to kind of turn on and off when he is super comfortable around people. He had a tendency to be more aggressive and a tendency to kind of come out of his shell so to speak, so nobody had ever really interacted. My mom I guess really had never interacted with his psychologists or his son. Hyah trust growing up and so when we as adult children took my dad finally, to the doctor within a matter of minutes, he was like, You know what, this isn't manic depressive disorder at all what you're talking about is a disorder called schizo affective, which is in between schizophrenia and in between bipolar, and it's kind of an unknown disorder that they don't, they can't really characterize too much about, um, but it's kind of like he had paranoid schizophrenia. So, growing up as a kid, it was me and my three siblings, like I said, my mom overworked I mean, my mom was literally working somewhere between 60 to 80 hours a week, she was nebosh. And my dad worked the night shift. So during the day, especially like summers and weekends, we were predominantly with him. But he couldn't turn that side of him off with us. And so as kids, it was, a typical day for us would be to wake up in the morning, and my dad always slept on the couch. I don't know why, but he did. And we had to kind of be quiet around him, because we didn't want to wake him up for the fear of what he was going to be like that day. And so once he eventually got up, the yelling basically started that at that point, he was stuck in this time, where chemically like when you when you start to have schizophrenia, sometimes there's like an event that triggers it, right? It's, well, my dad's triggering event was getting late while crossing a picket line, and in a union job that he had. And then when he did that, the the company, the union got really aggressive with him. And they threw bricks in our house, they threw bricks in our windows, I mean, my dad had to go night, he had to go to work in the trunk of his car, because people were embarrassed to take him. So like, think about that, like mentally, of course, right. And so, um, but he was stuck in that event, that event had happened years and years prior. But that's all that he could talk about. So he would wake up in the morning, and just start yelling at us about how every nothing that he knows is real, that there are aliens in the wall that they are watching that you have to be careful what you say, Be careful what you do, because you don't know who's going to be listening to you, you don't know what they're gonna use with that information. So like, think about like three year old little kids like, Oh, my God, somebody's listening to us in the wall, right?

Melissa Bright:

Cuz you don't know that your dad is necessarily nothing?

Kim:

Yeah, wow. So there was that portion of it. And then there was a lot of aggressiveness towards his relationship with my mom. So oftentimes, as kids, he would kind of come at us, and resent us a little bit, because he felt like his true love was my mom. And we kind of had ruined that dynamic for him. And so, kids, we learned right off the bat that not that my dad didn't love us, but that he did not love us nearly as much as he loved our mom and was vocal about that. And so it was really tricky, because a lot of a lot of what he did, I mean, now as an adult, I can see he wasn't in control of any of this, you know, but as a kid, I mean, our reactions were pretty visceral to him. We didn't want him to be around us, we didn't want him to engage in our family in any way, shape, or form. If we have things that we had to do at school or read, at the time, we were heavily involved at church or whatever it was, we did not want him coming because we didn't know how he was going to react. We didn't know what was going to be yelling at the top of his lungs at about something that happened 18 years ago. Right, right. And so eventually, it got to the point where I'm going to go with I was probably like, five or six years old, I started to and it more than just me my other siblings were the same way. We all thought that my dad was likely going to kill us kill us or my mom. Because he got so violent, because he got so aggressive and he he didn't really care if we were upset or if we were sick. Or if we were if even if my mom would ask him to stop he didn't care. He couldn't stop and so I sleeping in my mom's bed with her when I was like probably five or six because even in my little body, I thought that I could protect her in some way. Sure. And so um, I like one night specifically, I can remember my dad he again he works at night shifts so he would come in or I guess it's like second shift. I don't know what it is. He would come or three in the morning.

Melissa Bright:

Yeah, I don't know shift. See that? It's

Kim:

like one o'clock sometimes in the night. It just depends upon the job that that he was on. Yeah, yeah. And um, he came home and he would do this all the time. We were little and he would wake us up in the middle of the night screaming because he had just gotten off of work, he had all this adrenaline and he needed to get all of this off his chest. And so he pulled the pillow out from underneath. He'd like slyly walked into my mom's room. And I don't know why. But I was awake. And I was just watching him. And he walked around my mom's bed and grabbed a pillow out from underneath her head and went to go put it over her head. And I just started screaming at the top of my lungs, because you know, I get in the room, and you're pretty sure you're going to watch your dad murder your mom. And thankfully, she woke up. But then ensued this, this actual fight. And he, my dad never hit my mom, but he would like chest, bump her, and like her in the walls and push her into doors and whatnot. And so we all started getting very scared. And my siblings, we all range. There's a range of eight years between the four of us, okay, and so, that night, specifically, it got bad enough to the point where it was like 230 in the morning, three o'clock in the morning, and my mom was like, the kids have to go to school in the morning, like you have to stop, you've been yelling for two hours. And we ended up getting packing up and getting in my car and driving them or my mom's car and driving to my aunt's house and spending the rest of the night at my aunt's house. And then like this is the kicker about our family is, especially at that time, you know, we were taught not to talk about our feelings, not to talk about our experiences, and to assume everything's fine. So the notion was, things are gonna be shitty at home. But pretend that it didn't happen. So we have that experience, you know, screaming, yelling, the whole thing, watching all of that happen, driving over to my aunt's house, waking up, and then going right back to school, and acting like nothing ever happened. And that was pretty much my childhood that was consistent all the time. There were I mean, I this is terribly sad when you think about it now. But like I learned as a kid, the way that my bet my bedroom was set up was that if I put a folding door underneath my door handle, when my dad would open the door, he would open the folding chair and the folding chair would hit the wall. So he couldn't actually physically come in my room, but he could still yell, but he couldn't be in my room yelling. And I learned to start doing that. So that at least I could try to sleep over the yelling at least it wasn't right next to my face. At least it wasn't right, you know, that kind of deal. And so yeah, so I mean, it was definitely not a typical childhood. Oh, no. And so I think I grew up, I grew up hiding everything about myself. I learned right at the beginning. I watched at least from your child's eye it from a child's eyes, I watched all these other families seemingly have typical families, right. And I learned from that age that I wasn't enough, because if I was enough, I would have had this normal Dad, I would have had this normal relationship and my family would be happy go lucky like everybody else. Right. And so I internalized that, that there was something wrong with me that I was not worthy enough of having a family like this. And that truly that I was just meant to suffer. That's like the number one thing that I learned that my I was meant to suffer. That was the lifetime I was choosing to live like this is how it was going to be, I'm always going to have a difficult time. Because I always had a difficult time as a child, right. And so I carried that, that belief with me. Through young adulthood through even I mean, up until recently, to be honest, it was something that I had to like really sit with myself and recognize. That's not that was not real, you know, but until you become conscious of it until you become aware that these are the beliefs that you created because of your experiences. Right? Yep, start to address them and break them. Right and, and change them and rewire them to what really fits you. Sure. So yeah, so I mean, I took my family was nothing. It was not normal. That there is a normal, but right.

Melissa Bright:

There's really not normal.

Kim:

Yeah, normal. And so it really was just learning to hide myself. Right? I allowed to share what was going on at home. I knew that it was shameful. At least that's how I perceived it. And so I carried this shame with me as if it was my fault, right? As if this was oh my gosh, I can't let anybody know because people would be mortified that this was what's going on but secretly as a kid. I also can remember staring at teachers just thinking oh my god, well one of them asked me if everything's okay with somebody just asked because I would have totally told some of them. Could adults my parents ended up knocking getting divorced until I was in my, oh gosh, I think I think I was like 22, maybe 23, something like that. And so I, the minute that I could get out of my house, I did, I went to college and did all four years there. And then as soon as that was done, I even rented a house in that area for another year, because I could not go back to my house. Yeah. And then I had no choice but to go back to my house because I tore my ACL and I needed help, like actually recovering, right, her drink. And I ended up staying there for a year. And in that year, I called the police three different times on my dad, because I was like, this is it's not acceptable. Like, there is a point where, you know, as a child, I had to deal with your aggressiveness. I didn't, you throwing stuff all around the house. And you can say,

Melissa Bright:

because on this podcast, that's fine.

Kim:

You know, like, I had to deal with him, like throwing shit and ruining stuff and, and life in general. And so he he occasionally hit us not, not crazy, but enough to where it wasn't okay. And as a 20 to a 23 year old. When he hit me, I was like, get out of here. This isn't me. So I called the police a couple different times. And at the third time I called the police. They were like, there's literally nothing we can do other than if he gets if he gets more aggressive, we can remove him from the home for like 24 hours. But that's all that like really happens, right? And so my mom finally decided to get a divorce at that point. And to be honest, her lawyer was like, don't call the police anymore, because somebody is going to end up being responsible for him like that. They're going to deem him like he can't be cared for. And it was just this kind of cop mess. And so now here we are another 10 years later, truth be told, while my dad is in a home now, he said many strokes and he's met had many issues. So he's now in a home. Yeah, it's me and my siblings that are responsible for him. So we take care of him, we maneuver all of the all of his bills, all of his paperwork, medical, I mean, all of that ends up on us now at this point. There, I think like the way that life has has gone for me has so full circle, because 10 years ago, there is no way in hell, I would have been doing this, there's no way that I would have helped him get out of a house that I would have helped him get into a home and taking care of him and sat at his bedside when he was in a hospital, I would have never done that,

Melissa Bright:

right.

Kim:

And as crazy as this sounds, I know this sounds crazy. I'm grateful for how it happened, I realized now that it had to happen that way, because I had to have these experiences, to relate to other people to have such an empathetic standpoint. And to give people the benefit of the doubt, right? Like, we really truly don't know what's going on behind closed doors. And I'm a perfect example of that. For somebody who's an open book 90% of the time, I didn't even feel comfortable telling anybody about my home life until maybe three years ago. Right.

Melissa Bright:

So, yeah, so I have a couple of follow up questions with your with your story. So I know that you said you grew up in a chaotic life, how did that transfer that chaos into into your adulthood in terms of like the way that you lived or the way that you acted or stuff like that, because this is something that is new to me that my my boyfriend has kind of brought up because I did grow up in a little bit of a chaotic life. childhood, I moved 13 times before I even went to high school went to 13 different schools. And I didn't think of chaos. And then he sometimes said he's like, I think you thrive on chaos. And I was like, You What are you talking about? There's no way and then one time, and I'll kind of tell the story a little bit later, but it dawned on me like one time when I was in this peaceful place like such peace and so happy. I was literally looking for something to stress me out like not that I wanted to be stressed out but I was like, something's going to happen. Why is life so good right now? This is not this is not normal? No, this is way too weird guys. That's quiet. And when I realized that I was like, Oh shit. Oh shit, Brandon's like kind of right like not even knowing we sometimes thrive on chaos. So that's exactly why I'm asking that question because I did not make that realization until recently. So what did that look like for you as an adult?

Kim:

Okay, so alright, so my chaotic life right as a kid ended up Turning and manifesting itself into a chaotic life for as a young adult, I got my first job when I was like 22 years old, and after a year, I became the director of a preschool. And so I was the director of a preschool. That's a full time job in and of itself. At the same time, I was nannying to kids on the side. So every day, as soon as I would get done, I would then go and watch two kids for another four hours a day. In the same time, about a year later, I added a third job onto my plate, and I started working, our preschool was housed inside of a church and I started working if the children well, a different position, but I started working for the church. Sure. Well, before I knew it, I was working 60 to 70 hours a week, just like my mom did. That's what I watched, right. And so the truth of it is, our bodies become addicted to our circumstances, unless you become aware of them and can break that cycle. So my little body as a little girl became addicted to chaos, I had to thrive in chaos, almost because that's how I had to survive. Our bodies like familiar patterns, whether they're positive or negative, doesn't matter. And so even though my childhood was crazy, and negative, and aggressive, and all these different things, that's what was familiar to me. And so to enter a state of peace or happiness or rest, that wasn't familiar to me. And that shocked my system. And if anything, your system will go against it as much as it can, because it doesn't want to enter a new pattern that isn't familiar to you. And so, for so many of us, you know, trauma dictates our life until we stop letting it dictate our life, right? Absolutely come aware of what it created in our lives. And when you hear like the term manifesting is very, very sexy term right now and

Melissa Bright:

everything. Yeah, it is talking to

Kim:

manifest your life manifest whatever, what we don't realize is that we are constantly unconsciously manifesting. So your reality, you know, are your thoughts. It's that subconscious mind and your subconscious mind is really your inner child. And so our inner child is wounded is does not feel seen or heard or held by you or by anybody, your life circumstances are going to match what your inner child experienced. And so that's what it was, I became addicted to the chaos, I continued to perpetuate that cycle, all while making sure that I never looked at my inner child or never looked at anything. And that's another trauma response is buisiness. Right? Yeah. Oh, that was me, the more busy I stayed, the more I didn't have to look at anything that ever happened. I didn't have to address it. And I didn't have to bring it to the surface.

Melissa Bright:

Right. Um,

Kim:

and yeah, so I mean, the truth is, though, when you start to recognize what is going on, and you start to realize that a lot of your current life situations are just manifested from this unconscious pattern, this unconscious little you that's still inside of you. To enter that healing journey, you need to embark on it so that you can actually live the life you deserve. Not the life your little child thinks. You're still in your notice literally.

Melissa Bright:

Yep, absolutely. That is, that is amazing. And thank you for sharing that. Because, you know, a lot of people share these similar things that happened to you as as a child, maybe not on the you know, maybe it might not have been schizophrenia, but it could have been alcoholism, but there was violence. So something like that. I just really wanted you to paint the picture of what it looked like as a child, and then kind of what it manifested into now. And then we'll kind of talk about how in what made you decide to go on this spiritual journey. But now we're going to go over to miss Tara cuz she has been waiting so patiently. Sorry, we were we were on a roll there. All right, yeah. It's okay. It is totally okay. All right. So now I'm going to try to do the same thing for Tara and I'm gonna explain what Tara went through as a child and she's going to tell her story now. So it says I grew up in an environment where I dealt with parent to vacation, which I'm gonna ask what that is, and adult to vacation. also gonna ask what that is, and a narcissistic stepmom. My awakening brought awareness that patterns from my childhood kept presenting themselves throughout my life and I realized that I was seeking external validation to fill my lack of self love and self worth. So first question, Tara is can you describe what those two words man I'm not even gonna freakin Sam again because I can say him because I can't even say certification

Tara:

when you like when you're given the role to make these, like parental decisions like for your family, right, so maybe so like, for me, I'm the oldest sibling. And so a lot of the responsibility for my younger siblings fell on me. So for example, like when I was, I don't know, maybe like eight, nine years old, I had a little sister. And so she's not, she's nine years younger than me. So I was probably 10 men, because she had one or something, um, I could be getting the ages off, but it doesn't matter. You know, so my mom like at night was like, go out on dates and stuff when she was divorced, and I would be at home and I'd have school the next day. And I'd be like, staying up, I can remember like, laying on the couch, like scared to fall asleep watching 90210 because that's so appropriate. watching me being in charge of my sister and my brother, who was like four years younger than me. And so it was like, things like that, or being responsible, you know, just like taking care of the house and doing things that, you know, I'm not chores, helping out, but like things that really shouldn't be placed upon the shoulders of a child, right? Yep. And then adult suffocation is kind of the same thing. It's where you're given these adult situations and adult decisions to make that you shouldn't be responsible for, there shouldn't be things and they're you know, there's, there's nothing wrong with treat with ever treating like a child, you know, wit, like at a mature level. But also things that like you should know about, you shouldn't know, like, all the details of divorces, or what your, you know, parents are doing on the side, like some of those things need to remain private. And in my own life, it really wasn't that way. So my parents, my mom and dad got married. They were teen parents, and they got they got pregnant. My mom was 17. Well, she was 16 when she got pregnant. And so um, my parents married then. And so a couple they had me a couple years later had my brother and then they got divorced. So my parents divorced when I was by the time I was like, five. And they both like, at first, everything was great. So it was like one of those things where it you know, it sucks because your parents got divorced, but they got along and everything was fine. And then enter this revolving door of step parents. So that's where it gets kind of crazy. So like my mom remarried, almost at the exact same time, my dad remarried. And so I have a step. Next thing, you know, I had a stepdad and a stepmom, and then they each each family got pregnant. So now I had new siblings, so I has, you know, on one side of stepsister and a new half sister, and on the other side, I had two new step brothers and a half brother. So like when feminists like small, like, it was just me and my brother. And then next thing, you know, it's like, you munch on a stick when you're playing, and they were all so different, and all the personalities are different. And so, you know, is a child like trying to navigate that, and when you're the oldest, especially you just like carry this responsibility. And so you feel like, I have to be this person for her, this person for him this person for her, this person for him. And like in doing that, I who am I you know, you like yourself in doing that, and you become get stuck in these like patterns of people pleasing. Oh, then it was, um, my mom ended up divorcing and that stepdad. And that's when I kind of went through all that stuff of like, really taking care of like, my younger siblings, and all of that. And then, at the same time, my dad and stepmom had, like, moved out of state. And I so desperately wanted a normal family just like everybody else. And I just wanted a mom and a dad and I just wanted to like, you know, be the center of somebody's world. And just to feel like somebody really loved me. Somebody saw me, right, left my mom. And I said, I'm going to go live with them. And then I did. And in doing that, I'm developed an extremely unhealthy relationship with my stepmom. And she was, I mean, fighting her own battles. And in doing all of this, she would talk to me and treat me almost like a friend status as a little kid. And I just wanted her approval so badly that anything she wanted me to do, I would do and looking back now I'm like, how could I do some of the things I knew better but when you are in that mindset of just wanting that love so badly and just wanting to please so badly, you do things that you know are wrong, so I mean, this is the one thing that sticks with me, I think the most is that she was like, Well, you know, you could be my real daughter, and we could have this real family. And she was like playing on this. And I'm like, Yeah, yeah, I could, I really could. And she made me call my mom and tell her that I wanted her to give me up for adoption, that I hated her that I never wanted to see her again. And anything like my mom would say, back my mom's like, Well, you know, first of all, I'm not going to do that. She's like, a couple years ago, and years from now, you'll be a legal adult. And then if that's what you want to do, it'll be your decision. And I mean, I was so mean, like, I you know, I hate you, like, you know, you don't you like all of these horrible, horrible things I said, as like, you know, my stuff on speeding me all of this, right. And, um, and, you know, my mom just kind of was like, No, like, I'm not doing it. And that kind of was it. And I cut off my relationship with her completely. And I was like, I'm not even going to be have anything to do with her. I didn't go visit her. I didn't talk to her. I mean, for years. I'm my stepmom. You know, my grandparents had made us all of the kids grandkids, like photo albums that have all the pictures, my stepmom had taken every picture out, that had my mom in it. And she took it, she took everything, like if there was like stuff that was like me, and my dad, my mom, she would like rip it so that it was just like my dad and me, but not my mom would like. And then in the meantime, all this is going on, but my dad's completely gone. So he was very, he's just not stable in any sort of not in the not in a gentle way. But just um, he could never stay put anywhere. He have this house, we're all settled and whatever. And he would always constantly find jobs that were in other states that were so he was never even really even with us. So it was just us with my stepmom. And um, he you know, he was gone. He had no idea what was going on. And he was so completely like, over the top obsessed with her and in love with her that it wouldn't have mattered, anything that we said anyway, because in his eyes, you know, she could do no wrong, right? And we lived out, like in a country in it, where we lived, like all of her family, they were all of our neighbors. So it was really like, it felt like there was no way out. And I don't even at the time, I was looking for that way out initially. But then, as soon as I was like old enough, the same thing. Like I laughed. And, you know, I was I was going to school, I was randomly working at the airport, and I met my husband. And so like right away. I was like, This guy is like my ticket out here. Because he was like, Hey, I just got this, you know, we live in Illinois. And he was like, I just got this job in Wisconsin. Do you want to come and I'm like, yeah. And like, never looked back. And so once I you know, got in this relationship, this healthy relationship, you know, with my future husband, I started to like, reintroduce my mom into my life and like we reconnected and all of that. And then we ended up like getting married, and we have three kids. Um, but that's kind of my story. It's not

Melissa Bright:

totally different stories, but still things things happen. So a couple questions for you. When did you When did your stepmom really, I guess for lack of better words, like brainwash you to like, you know, not like your mom, when did that start? And how long did it continue on?

Tara:

So they, I think they must have got married, like, I was probably like seven ish, okay, when they got married. And so from like seven to probably like 12, we just that we would go like for weeks in the summer, every other weekend, like you're in there during the week. And I don't know, if it was happening, then I feel like probably those seeds were being planted here and there and hearing there. And because she would call and talk to me on the phone and stuff like that, and always offered for me to come stay there. And I think that, um, when my mom was dating her soon to be husband, which ended up being my second stepfather. Um, I just didn't want to be in that anymore. I just wanted something stable. And I thought like, you know, in my 12 year old brain, that they could offer me something stable, and I just, I just so badly, like, just wanted to be loved and I just I didn't feel that I just didn't feel that. Right. So um, so when I went and stayed with them, when I was like 12 between 12 and 13. It really was like full force right then it was, it was When I look back at it now I can see that it was instant and that it was instant and that she was constantly feeding me things about like, why my mom didn't like me why she didn't love me like, why I needed to be there, you know, and I'm listening and taking all of this in and it just became her thoughts or her words became my thoughts.

Melissa Bright:

Right. Wow. So are you is your dad still married to her? No,

Tara:

but they just divorced. Oh, my gosh, maybe like, a couple years ago. Okay. They were married for a really long time. And once I'm actually once I met my husband, he met my stepmom maybe one time and he was like, Hell, no, I am never gonna be around her. We were done. And I packed my stuff. And I never went back. I never saw her again. And that was my fault. I never saw her again. And so I'm here he because he was like, No, he, I mean, he right. It's crazy. Because, you know, like, from an outsider point of view, one time and I never talked about her or anything. But he met her one time and was like, absolutely not like this is not happening. And I was

Melissa Bright:

you know, doesn't it? Doesn't it make you like now looking back on like, say certain times certain days times, you're with her that you'll think of a time that she did something? And you're like, How the hell did I not catch on to what she was doing?

Tara:

Absolutely. But here's the crazy part. So a lot of like, the really like, the really damaging stuff that she did. A lot of it happened as I was like an older teenager, right? When I was like 15 to like 18. And it's funny because just in doing my own, like inner child work and Shadow Work and stuff like that, I'm just starting to remember pieces, or like every now and then I'll get a glimpse of something and I'll like call my mom. And I'll say Did you know Did this ever happen or whatever and and talking it out, like going through these stories or whatever. I'm like, Oh my gosh, like I just remembered this happened. And this happened. And this happened. And you would think because like it was so late in my teens, like everything would be right on the tip of my tongue. Like right there easily easy to access. And I, I think because I've been so ashamed of like my behavior of how easily I was influenced that I've just like, really, like, blocked all of that. And so it's like, slowly coming out. And I'm like working through it and accepting but it's like, really, it's really hard. Because for me, I look at it like, Well, yes, technically, I was a kid. I wasn't like five, so I feel like I should have known better. But reality is like it's truly not my fault. I did not I didn't know any better because I just wanted that I just wanted to be loved so badly, right? That I was willing to do anything and then looking at anything going forward. Um, I wasn't able to accept love really from anybody until I mean fairly recently. Because that's a huge, like that feeling of not being worthy. Not being enough, like not being able to accept unconditional love. Like that's been a huge, huge issue for me.

Melissa Bright:

So, can you pinpoint not a time but why do you think because with your stepmom wanting to be such a part of your life, even though it wasn't the right thing that she was doing. She did make you I'm assuming feel loved and feel like you were the center of the universe. So how did that transpire into you not feeling like you could be loved by people. Thank you to better help for sponsoring this podcast. I have been using better help for almost a year now. And the progress that I have made in my mental health has been incredible. I just want to tell you my listeners a little bit about better help to see if it might be a great fit for you. Their mission is making professional counseling accessible, affordable and convenient. So anyone who struggles with life challenges can get help anywhere anytime. They offer four ways to get counseling from video sessions, phone calls to live chat and messaging. It's also available worldwide. You will be matched with your counselor and 24 hours or less better help offers a broad expertise in their network. So it provides users with access to specialists they might not be able to find locally. Financial Aid is also available for those who qualify. So visit better help.com slash bright side of life that's better help.com slash bright side of life. Join over 500,000 people taking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional. And for your first month you're going to receive 10% off by being a listener of the brights of life. So let them know that I sent you by using the link better help.com forward slash bright side of life, that's better help.com forward slash b, r i, g, h t side of life, the link will also be in the description section of this episode.

Tara:

Because I think that I will, because I was only getting that from her first of all, and I think that because part of me knew how I mean, I felt icky, even in doing all of those things. I didn't feel good. I didn't feel like you know, I was I was so upset with my mom. Like, at that time, you know, we were just, we we got through that phase where we, you know, we just didn't get along. And, you know, she was like, married to this new guy. And she had been before that was like, dating all the time. And I wanted that stability. I wanted those feelings. And I didn't get that like she was are already from my mom, I was having that disconnect. Because I mean, she was going through her own things of just even from being like a teen mom and trying to how did that work? Like I looking at it now I feel like she probably was like, projecting on to me that I took away her childhood kind of thing. And so we were not getting along. My dad was never around. So I just had these brothers that I was constantly in charge of taking care of I was in charge of doing all of these things and getting from her. It wasn't she was making me feel like happy because I was pleasing her. I couldn't ever be myself or speak anything that I thought and at the same time while she was saying all those things. She was also telling me you know, well, everybody thinks you're annoying. You're really stupid. You're so ugly you should do with it. You know, like constantly saying all these things, too. So while Yes, she's giving me those pieces when I'm following her instructions. On the flip side when I'm not there's all the negative side. Right?

Melissa Bright:

What is your mom or stepmom? my stepmom your stepmom? Yeah. Wow,

Kim:

well, I'm gonna just say that the two because basically I think what you got from your, from your stepmom you were hoping to receive by conditional love and what you write was conditional Yes. Love which further perpetuated your belief that you didn't deserve unconditional exam?

Melissa Bright:

Yeah. Okay. Okay. That makes that makes a lot of sense. Okay, so now that we have a background of, you know, your guys's childhood and how that transpired into the way that and beliefs that you formed older, as older adults. Now I want to get into and we can just kind of quickly touch base on how you two met each other. What, you know, what, what kind of job you were doing. Um, so whoever wants to take that I don't care. You can guys kind of both take whoever. Okay. Oh,

Kim:

like I said earlier, I became a director of a preschool and I worked there for a total of 11 years. And Tara ended up coming in as her daughter was entering our three year old program, okay. And her daughter came to school for two years with us, and then was going to kindergarten and she was Tara was looking for a job. And so we needed a new preschool assistant teacher at the time. And so we hired Tara on. So Tara and I worked together. At the preschool for six years, Tara and I became fast friends, like, even before she started working there I was I always developed really deep relationships, not realize this about myself. But I've always loved to deep relationships with work closely with and so I Tara and I just had a very different relationship from the beginning. And as time went on, we started to realize there were a lot of similarities between the two of us, but we were so this is crazy. We were so unconscious at the time about everything that we did, we weren't able to connect anything. And when we didn't realize that we liked each other's energy. And now where we're at, we see that this is a match for us. It's a business match for sure, the way that we both operate and how we work with clients. But through our through everything that happened at the school together, and then recognizing how that pattern was kind of similar to our childhood. And we underwent a spiritual awakening at the same time. And so that kind of propelled us and pushed us on this journey. It accelerated this journey like crazy. So I guess it's kind of like how we met. Okay, and what really happened or what transpired is, we were working at the school and we thought that we were super fulfilled. We thought that this was it like I cannot even begin to tell you how much we were Positive that we were doing exactly what we needed to do everything about it. And when COVID hit our school moved to an online platform for just the remainder of the year, and then over summer, we both were looking at each other like you want to start a podcast. We've always wanted to do a podcast, let's do a podcast. And we were into murder mystery, like into Yes, yeah, right. Crime junkie. Oh, yes. Yes. Right. And so for years, we had been saying, we were gonna start I have no idea how this event we still aren't like, this is where like, some of our beliefs like really are deep rooted beliefs. Now our core beliefs that have come from, we have no idea why but we started a podcast called unapologetically you. Okay, weekly opposite of crime junkie, right? Yeah. Um, we were interviewing people very similar to this having other stories and talk about where, where their journey took them and where they're at now and what they're doing with it. And then we eventually ended up bringing in holistic therapists, and holistic counselors, and just different types of healing modalities. From that, we totally our minds were blown, and we entered the spiritual awakening. And, um, we have been on a self help personal development journey for at least the last three years prior to all of us. And we were, you know, doing guided journals, we were taking care of our bodies, we were trying to eat better trying to, you know, move ourselves and all that kind of good stuff. But we were weren't really diving into the self discovery or soul discovery is what we like to call it. And so, we underwent this spiritual awakening, which was completely hard. I mean, sexual awakening is not for the faint of heart, I mean, it, it really is truly difficult. And I think depending upon your level of consciousness determines, determines where you what you would consider that moment for you. For some people, they would just call it a healing journey and say, that's it. And for other people, depending upon how deep they go into it would recognize No, it's a spiritual journey, healing journeys, and spiritual journeys are absolutely one in the same. It's just where you're at consciousness wise. And as you continue to develop and become more and more conscious, you recognize that this is a spiritual journey, that you are diving deep inside of yourself. And while you're diving deep inside of yourself, you realize you are so deeply connected to this earth to other humans to everything that ever was, and ever is. And so through that we started taking, we went to every type of Portal counselor, we went to every type of healing session that you could, um, we started getting certified in different modalities and recognized that, while we thought we were fulfilled previously, it's because there was only a small portion of it that was being fulfilled. And it was in the dynamic in the relationships that we built with, with adults, basically, at this present with the families, and helping these families kind of navigate. They're their family, they're your own lives, right. And we we went above and beyond at the time really engaging with all of these families and getting to know these moms who just needed an outlet or needed somebody to coach them through that moment of time, right. And we realize this is what we were called to do, we were called in are called to help people navigate their spiritual journeys, and help people learn to maneuver the ins and outs of what this looks like so that they can learn to really stand in their higher self and stand in this person. They were always meant to be before life got its hands on you right now. It's variances until we become conscious of it. Our experiences do dictate us they do we allow them to define us, right? Or have to, and well, really unpeeling and uncovering all these layers about ourselves and our belief systems that we've that we've created. Right, right. Yeah. That that's how your spiritual journey and your healing journey begins and get to this point where eventually you just become this witness of your life. Right? And you see that everything that's happening is happening for you. The universe is here to work with you and for you, and wants you to be guided into this higher whole version of yourself that already exists.

Melissa Bright:

Yes. You worded that so so perfectly. And that's like a perfect segue into all the fun questions I'm about I'm about to ask you guys. So you already answered a couple questions. Um, you know, in terms of So first, okay, well to start here. So your business is called soulful healers and you guys are spiritual empowerment coaches. Yes. And what you do is you help all souls embody their highest self using holistic healing practices and spiritual transformation. So, a little bit, you kind of already explained like, what a spiritual journey was. And I guess the first question that I have, for what whoever wants to answer this is, how can people know that they that they might even be on one before really realizing it? And I'm asking all these questions and kind of a selfish sense, because a lot of you know, I've already had the rapid transformational therapist, which is all about energy and becoming, you know, self aware, all your subconscious, all that stuff. And so now I'm like, how long have I maybe been on the spiritual journey, you know, when I when I hear about, like, spiritual, and please do not take offense to this, but I'm totally thinking about like, sage waving around and like, all this stuff. And I'm like, I don't really know if that's like who I am. But I definitely believe in like energies and stuff like that. So I just don't want people to like be turned off or like freaked out or like, that's totally not me. Because you could be on a spiritual journey and not realize it like you don't have to like, yeah, people just kind of like hear something and they think that's like what it is. So, now that I've just explained all of that, how can people know that they might be on one? Well, there's

Kim:

one thing that I want to say first, it's interesting that you said that, like you think of the sage aspect of it, but we get a lot of times to is that's one way that's absolutely, you know, mainstream media you got and put spirituality with crystals and sage, right? Yep, yep. Okay. And then there's another side of it that we get often that means you must be affiliated with a religion. Yeah, you're talking about this religious background and like diving deep into the Bible, and then to God. And what we want to say is spirituality is somewhere in between. Yeah, um, I think that if the more we try to box ourselves into terms and attach ourselves to certain labels, we're not doing ourselves. We're doing ourselves a disservice by doing that, because we're spiritual journey, your healing journey will look entirely different. And whether that means that you are affiliated with a religion or whether that means you are full blown into crystals, and you are dancing under the moon. Right. You know, what feels right for you? Yeah,

Melissa Bright:

yeah. So okay, so that portion? Yeah,

Tara:

I think, to know, or to if you're, you asked if you How would you know, if you're like beginning this journey, I think that like, the biggest thing is, if you feel like there's something more like there's something more than just what is happening right now. I think that's a sign that you're either already on it, or you're ready to begin.

Kim:

Yeah, I mean, yeah, I think honestly, just anybody, like, if I look at it, like, what back in the day, when we first started ours, simply we were trying to know who we were a little bit more.

Melissa Bright:

Yep. Yep.

Kim:

Start to dive or when you're curious, like, you know what, like, why do I do that? Or how do I change that? why it happened to me, why does this keep happening? Yeah, you know, like, those are all moments where you don't realize what you're embarking on. And whether you believe in God, universe source, whatever you want to call it. It all happens in divine timing, when you are ready to embark on this journey. And sometimes everything that's happened to us prior to that makes it impossible to think that there's something bigger and better out there for you. Right? Yeah, but the truth is, there is and it's available at your fingertips. You just have to actually want to get your hands dirty. You have to actually want to participate in this because this is such an interactive, oh my gosh, it's all over you type of journey. I mean, there's no part of you that's going to be left uncovered. Your your deepest, darkest secrets are gonna come out the things that you are not proud about things that you love about yourself, but you don't want to admit it, it jumps it all jumps out at you. And it's an all encompassing journey.

Melissa Bright:

Yeah.

Kim:

But it's beautiful. I mean, like Park, even the dark times. When you look at it, it's such a it's such a cool thing to recognize that it's your time, right? Like this is happening for you like it It's it's your turn and that right? freakin cool.

Melissa Bright:

Yeah, it is awesome. And I'll tell you like a little bit with my journey. Just a little quick background for me. So last year COVID hit, I was a travel agent travel completely like when nobody was doing travel anymore. And so I was listening to I got like really, really depressed because I would attach all all my self worth on productiveness money, all of that stuff. So a lot of people do everybody, like do that. So when last year COVID hit, we all kind of lost our identities are like, Who are we? What are we doing? So, I was listening to a podcast and I've told this story several times on here. I was listening to Jay Shetty, his podcast, and he had Debra Messing, and Madonna, Madonna. I don't, not them, but not a singer, another lady. I really got to figure out who she is. And one of them I couldn't tell who was who was talking about how they found their purpose. And they said, whenever you look out into the world, and something hurts your heart. And you ask yourself, like what makes your heart hurt when you whenever you look out into the world? And then once you come up with that answer, you then say, Okay, well, what can I do to make this world better? Like, what can I do? And she's like, and when I answered both of those questions, I found out my purpose. So I was like, okay, is it really just that simple to figure out my purpose? So I was like, Well, what what makes me sad when I look out into the world, and honestly, what made me sad was an exact reflection of myself was me sitting on a couch during COVID being so depressed, crying, because I felt like I was worthless. I wasn't helped contributing money to my family. And I just felt like shit. And I felt like I was the only one in the world experiencing this, even though I know I wasn't. So what made my heart hurt? Was people feeling alone in the world. Yeah. So then the next question was, how am I going to then solve this solution? And I was like, What am I good at? I'm good at talking to people and having deep conversation, I am so curious on how people got from here to where they are, and why they operate in the way that they do. So I was like, well, I love podcasts. So why not have a podcast getting to have deep conversations with people in this way? Instead of surface level? How's the weather? How's your kids? How's the wife? Know, I want to have like, real deep? Why do you Why do you behave this way? Why did you get addicted to drugs, so on and so forth. So I say all of that, too. That was really the first thing that I had to do to become aware of everything. And then to part, that's when I kind of started therapy and all of that, but I feel that I have been on this spiritual journey a lot longer than I realized, because now I'm getting more education about the energies and the subconscious mind and all that stuff. And I was like, Wow, my healing journey that I've been on through therapy has actually been the spiritual journey. Also,

Kim:

yes. And it's really it's a spiritual journey back to you. Yeah. To your true self. Yep. And I mean, we can talk about, you know, beliefs and, and all of that, but the truth is, is we as humans are our, our natural state is to be conditioned, right? happens to us, without us even recognizing it. We are conditioned by our parents, by lovers, by our friends, by our school system, by society, by our churches, by our communities, anything and everything conditions you and it forces you to create these belief systems. And in the end, they're generally limited belief systems. Yeah. And perpetuates our cycles of who we are over and over and over again. And when you enter a spiritual journey, what you're starting to do is break that the confines of that right yeah, you're so like, so to speak. There's there's a lot of metaphors out there about being chained to it that were being chained. And so you're breaking free essentially, you're deconditioning you're that's that's called the deconditioning process was fun was fun fact, they talked about it taking seven years. It's a seven year cycle Jesus. And the great about that is that you get to that end of the seven years, guess what, there's more deconditioning that has to be done because you're in a physical body and we've got these brains that that's how they operate. Right? And so for us it's it's this deeper knowing of I know for a lot of people they're going to be like what, but we are not this body right you know, like if you if you start to talk to spiritual teachers and people that you would deem enlightened, let's go ahead and say they talk about how you're not your thoughts, right? You are that those don't actually represent who you are. And the more that you dive deep into that, and contemplate that really realize that you're the one that hears the thoughts, you're the ones that is observing everything going on. So that must mean there's something else inside of you, that is you. And it's not just being chained to this brain into these thoughts. And when you become the observer, and you witness it, that's how you start to flow through life a little bit better and navigate it, because you're sitting in that moment, even if you're having a hard day, you can sit there and eventually get to the point of God, my mind is coming up with some crazy thoughts today. Yep, they're not mine. And you start to realize, Oh, my gosh, I would never want to think about myself that way. I deserve better. You deserve better. Yeah, well, just completely made of love. And are these divine beings that have the ability to create the life that we desire, we have to take our power back and start actually creating that life we desire instead of living what we've been confined to. Right,

Melissa Bright:

right. And the thoughts like, gosh, man, there are so many cliche, cliche, quotes and sayings, about our mind and about our thoughts. And I'm really, really working on the whole thoughts, because you're right, it's, it's kind of taking a step back and seeing these thoughts. And let's say, for instance, me and my daughter, like, have a conversation and, and I get sad about something because I all of a sudden think that's the reality, I have to take a step back and be like, no, that's just simply a thought thought does not equal equal reality. And I made a post about it on Instagram recently, like, there's a lot of comfort and knowing that these thoughts don't always reflect that this is truly what's happening in reality, it could be based on so many different things on what you personally believe on your experiences that you've experienced. But all these different factors, just doesn't necessarily make it a reality. And that's comforting. And for me, because I'm like, shit, it's, it's just a thought it can come and go, and it doesn't have to shape things. And I, I'm just finding a lot of comfort in that. Because normally, I would let a lot of people just let thoughts rule their whole life and let it become the reality and let all this outside influence just run their lives. And then, you know, by the time that they're 40 5060, and they're like, wow, I haven't even been living. For myself, I've been living according to everybody else's. Yeah. Rules, if you will, you know, society says I have to work a nine to five society says that you have to have a white picket fence society says that you have to be rich society says that you have to be married and you can't get to whatever it is, so on and so forth. So I'm kind of going on a tangent, but it's just, yeah, it's amazing. Okay, so let's, let's move on a little bit. I've already asked that question. So I think we Okay, what does it mean to be? And I know, we've touched a little bit on this, but what does it mean to be the highest version of yourself? And what makes that different than being just the best person you can be? I like the fact that it says highest version of yourself. So whoever wants to answer that, so I cannot stop talking. I like this is my jam. Oh, you guys can both also answer like if you have something that you want to add to it, Tara, please feel free. You guys know each other way better. Just

Tara:

Yeah. I always jump in with whenever she leaves, if there's something she forgets, don't worry. Perfect. Perfect.

Kim:

You have it this way, your higher self already exists. We live in a quantum reality where time is it? Not like linear really. And so your higher self, that future self of you that one that whatever, whatever it is that you're trying to do, whether it's to be more confident, whether it's a better mom, whether it's to build this business that you desire, whatever that is, that version of you already exists. And you'll hear so often so many people just say, well, all you have to do is embody her, you have to what does she do for what's her day to day look like, start to live that How does she interact with people start to live that. But the truth is, is it's not just that it's embodying that feeling, and embodying what that person that at that time truly will feel like. So if you finally get that business, or you finally are the better mom that you've always desired to be, what will you feel like right and stepping into that means that you become the fullest expression of you in that moment, and you get to tap into this higher version. Have yourself and and literally consciously ask yourself in the moment, is this what my higher self would do? Is this the decision that my highest self would make? So when, when you're in that fear base moment of like, Oh my god, I can't do this, this is scary, I can't go live, I can't do this, you have to sit there and say, is this higher? Is this what my higher self would do. And as you start to jump and take those leaps and jump into what that higher version of you will do, you start to become her or him. And you start to really embody this person that you were always meant to be the trajectory of your life is for you to continue to grow. That's your, and when you start to grow into this newer version of you guess what the next new higher version of you already exists, and you're constantly evolving into this version of you, it doesn't mean that like you have this morning routine, it doesn't mean that you are the volunteer on everything. It doesn't mean what it doesn't have to mean any of that. It means embodying the fullest expression of you of who you desire to be at your core. And the truth is, becoming your higher self is a spiritual journey. Because most of us have no idea who we are at our core. We have, we've been you know, we've got all these like handprints and footprints all over us from life from different experiences and from people that we forgot long ago, who we really are. And so when you're on this healing, spiritual journey, becoming your higher self, it's really uncovering and unpacking all of the shift that's happened to you. And getting back to your true essence. And diving in and leaning into what that feels like. And what you want to bring to life in this world. What you are called to live as an embodied in this world. Yeah,

Tara:

so I know like, for me, when I'm embodying my highest self, it's when I'm feeling my feeling. That's when I'm trusting my intuition. And that's when I'm just listening, like stopping and listening and connecting. That's how I know that I'm embodying my highest self. Right?

Melissa Bright:

Yeah. So when you say that, Tara, how does one listen to their selves? How can they separate what because I know there's ego, and then there's your subconscious and all that stuff? You guys know, way better. But how do you know what what is the difference? Like when people are like, What do you mean, listen to yourself? What does that mean? Because a lot of times, when you want to go do something, like let's say, we're talking about going live, like say somebody has a really big fear about going live, and they're like, No, I can't do it, I'm gonna mess up, I'm gonna look stupid, I'm gonna look silly people are gonna make fun of me. How do you know how to listen to yourself? Share what that actually sounds like.

Tara:

So we say this a lot. So, all the time, we're all making these decisions with our minds with our heads, right? So it's about stepping outside of that, and like feeling into your heart and making decisions from your heart, like, step out of your head. Don't think about it. But just feel from your heart. Does this feel aligned for me? Does this feel like something that I want to do? Does this feel right for me, and when you start to step away from the mind, and really start responding from your heart, that's how you get more in touch with your body. And you'll start to recognize how things feel like how yeses feel in your body. How does a no feel for you? You know, and so and it's different for everybody. Not everybody has the same, the same things, right? But it's really just stepping outside of your head. And just leaning in with your heart.

Kim:

Yeah. And it's like really like that mind body connection. Yeah, we've all lost it. I mean, to me, we've lost it completely. Yeah. Like when when even when you think about like biologically, right? Like, our gut, right is the second brain. Okay? So when you get those gut feelings, right, like, that's your intuition telling you for some people, some people don't get gut feelings. But that's a whole nother podcast. But when you when, when you as a kid, often, like we were told like that, that's kind of like a cliche thing. Oh, what's your gut telling you? Right? The same? No, no, it's not the same. It's like what we learned was to let go of your feelings and get more in this logical head. And the truth is, you need to get out of that logical head because your brains and the way things work. We're a little computers, man, like, our brains are just little computers that are predisposed for certain things that are hardwired in certain ways. And so the more you lean into that, the more you're leaning into a computer program, essentially, yeah, you can get back into your heart and into your feelings. You're living a lie because your body knows what's right. Yes, your body already knows.

Melissa Bright:

Absolutely. Whenever I was talking to Lauren gene, she's the rapid transformational therapist, one of the biggest things that I've really noticed lately, that happens to me and she explained explained a lot about like brainwaves, and when you're in slower like brainwaves, this is when like, you're really in tune with your subconscious. Anyways. So like, in the middle of the night, I'll wake up, let's say, three o'clock in the morning, and maybe something's been on my mind, like, Oh, I have an episode releasing tomorrow, or what should I do about this, so on and so forth, and I will wake up, and maybe within like a minute of being awake. Just maybe one sentence, even one word will just like, come to me. And I asked her, like, what that is, I'm like, Is this like, and she's like, Melissa, that is your intuition, telling you talking to you, whatever it is. And I'm like, holy shit, because I have had so many of those moments. One of the moments was when I first started being on clubhouse, and I was spending a lot of time on there. And I was like, really stressed because I was having major FOMO about like, not being on there, but also not being productive. And just one night in the middle of the night, like I woke up and it was like, you got to focus on you don't worry about everybody else trying to message you being wanting to be on your podcast, you have this goal in your head, and you have to follow that Melissa, don't worry about pleasing other people. And that literally like it was that I was like I am at ease. I'm at peace with this now knowing I don't have to go and do and be everything that everybody wants. And I'm like, I just like to hear what other people's intuition and their inner voice sounds like. Because I it's different for everybody. So I want people to know, like, what does that look like for me?

Kim:

Absolutely. And I think the other point, too, is so many people will say whatever they want to call it, they want to call it your intuition they want to whatever for us. That is your that's your soul. That's this self of you that's trying to guide you that's illuminating the path for you, when you're ready to tune in and listen in. And you have to you have to get to a point where you can quiet yourself, it's not necessarily quiet your mind. But familiarize yourself with your mind and get to a point where you can decipher the difference between that shift my mind. And that's actually me. Right? Yeah. And so I mean, we we both have different ways. But one of the best ways like for us to get in touch with ourselves. Every morning Tara and I are very interesting. We've our we've become very go with the flow people, but we have sort of a regimented routine that we just know, there's certain things that we have to do in order to be our best selves to be that higher self that day. And so one of them is journaling. And we do stream of consciousness journaling, which is basically getting in touch with that higher self or that soul and being able to communicate directly. I mean, you can sit down and just, I mean, write sometimes 345 pages in the morning of this is what we're doing. We're so proud of you, this is so great. Like you are on the right path. You know what, focus a little bit more on this, this and this and focus a little bit more on this, this and this, and you're gonna get there. And for us, it's in writing, I mean, but at the same time, you're hearing it right. Yeah, right. Yeah. And you then can actually write it down. And for us writing it down, makes it stick and makes it seem quite very real. You know, like, right, where, like you said, when you're questioning at first like, wait a minute, what? What the hell? Yeah, yeah. And so for us, as creatures that need that confirmation, you know, like, that's really good to write it down. Because eventually you'll get to a point of like, you'll read a phrase and be like, I would never say those words. Those would not come out of my mouth. I don't even know. I would never use that phrase. Right. Okay. Okay.

Melissa Bright:

Can I stop you right there. Like, I'm telling you, this is the craziest thing ever because I have. I have never done podcasting before ever in my life. I have never interviewed anybody ever in my life. But I feel like now, this is like what I'm supposed to be doing. I don't get nervous for interviews. I'd barely even prepare for interviews now. Except for the fact that I really want to do my due diligence and meet like, I get to talk to freakin soulful healers. I'm gonna do my research and figure out all the questions I can ask them and want to talk to them. But it's not because I'm nervous of like, oh god, what am I gonna say? I have to be overly prepared. It's like, No, I'm just really excited. So this feels so natural to me now, like, sometimes like you just said the words coming out of my mouth. I'm like, Who the fuck is this person saying this and asking these questions like Melissa quiet little Melissa, not that people would be like you're not quiet Melissa, but like doubtful. Melissa would never ask these questions or would just I just Can't believe it. It's like, Am I Who? Who is this person? So I love that you said that. Cuz that's literally what I feel.

Kim:

It's a real thing. Honey, I like early. Let me tell you every time Tara and I do something, and I always say to her, I'm always not nervous, but I'm always like, what am I going to say, you know, not that I'm a loose cannon, but like, I love to talk. And so oftentimes, though, I will get done. And I look at her and be like, I don't even know what I said. Did any of it makes sense? Did I just ramble on, because it's just flowing, it's just stream. And I was operating from an unconscious standpoint for so long, which most humans are, I mean, fun fact, most of us operate unconsciously 95 to 98% of our day, right? So when you start to break that pattern and enter this conscious state, yep, things are just flowing through you.

Tara:

And when you just know that you're doing something that you are just meant to do, and you just feel it like in your soul, you know, this is what I'm supposed to be doing. Then all of that just comes it just flows. Yeah,

Melissa Bright:

absolutely. Absolutely. Oh, I love it. I love in our conversation. Okay, so we've touched a little bit of base a little bit about this. But what is the ego? And how can people tell if, if the ego is, is running running their life? Yeah.

Kim:

So your ego, like we hear so often that like, Oh, your ego, we want the death of our ego, we don't want our ego to run our life. That's not necessarily true. Your ego is here, and it's intended for a purpose, it's here to keep you safe. If we didn't have our ego, I'd be dead on the side of a road, I would have gotten hit by a car, I wouldn't have my hands would be burned to death, I wouldn't have my limbs. I mean, there'll be so many things that would have happened to me. I am completely grateful that we all have it's true, though. I mean, we all have our egos. The the other side to the ego, though is your ego wants to keep you safe and safe equals small. And so the ego wants to keep you in what it already knows. So if you are like, you know what, I really want to go try some new thing, let's say I mean, I just started belly dancing. For instance. When I, when I wanted to do it, my initial reaction was my, my ego telling me you can't do this, like, Oh my gosh, like, you're gonna make a fool of yourself, you're gonna look ridiculous. Don't do this. And that's when I stopped myself. And I asked what my what would my higher self do in this moment? my higher self is always a fuck, yes, we're doing that. Yep, yep. So you can tell the difference right there. If you are noticing that it's simply to keep you in a familiar pattern. It's simply to keep you inside your comfort zone. And sometimes our ego has the tendency to be super negative. And it has a tendency to tell you that you aren't enough that no, you can't do that, you're going to suck at it. Like Don't even try like we already know, this is not for you. So that's negative or keeps you in from what you're truly desiring from if there's something you've always wanted to do, but you just won't do it because you feel like it's not for you or you won't be good at it. That's your ego. Yep. And so the difference like for me is always constantly asking myself in that moment, if I feel like it's a negative thought that's come through or something to keep me small. I will ask myself, I'll quiet myself I'll do a little breathing techniques. And they'll sit there and I'll say, Is this what my higher self would would do? Or what would my higher self do here? And you'll get an answer right away, whether it's in your gut or it's in your heart, or you hear it or or you just know it, you'll know the answer to it. But that ego I mean, it's great. You don't want your work to die again. We die if our goal like truly died, but yeah, but you control your life.

Melissa Bright:

Right? And that's a great I really like the distinction between you saying what my higher self do this, like, is that something that they want? And it's like, I'm trying to think of something okay, so for instance, my my boyfriend loves loves loves singing karaoke. We literally have two speakers when we go camping in our RV we bring our speakers and we do karaoke, or if they have karaoke at the campsite, he does that. He loves singing and he's really he's good at it. I don't really, I don't sing because I feel like I'm not good at it. Like I do enjoy singing like singing loud in the car. Right? But my boyfriend always wants me to like not not join with him, but he wants me to join in on the fun and he's like, babe, like, Who cares? This is karaoke. This isn't some freakin like Grammys, you don't got to be perfect. And that is literally my ego telling me Melissa you're gonna sound stupid people are gonna make fun of you when it's like, no, it's gonna be fun to go up there and Sing Madonna like a prayer and belted out like, Who cares? Like what? And I love the fact that like now I can ask myself like, would your higher version do this? Like yes she would she would go up there and sing it.

Kim:

Exactly. And so didn't like to like it's that inner child of you like when you think about a child that hasn't had life touch it yet right when they come out, they are innocent, and they are free like freer than you can even imagine when you see little girls twirling around in front of an entire crowd of people. They don't care when little boys like wrestling each other getting all crazy. They don't care what anybody is gonna say about them. here Yes, yeah. Furion scene and they're trying to embrace themselves and figure out what they like. We weren't supposed to stop doing that. No. Society taught us to do that. We got put in this box. And we were like, oh, adults don't do this. You're not allowed to do that. You don't want to make yourself look like a fool. No live life and now some time, right? That's okay. dive into it. Jeff knew and express yourself to the fullest expression.

Melissa Bright:

Yeah. Oh, I love it. I love it. I love it. Okay, Kim, I'm going to read your little thing that you had on your website and kind of like what you do in terms of your soulful healer business. So it says that your purpose in life is to help others shed their limiting beliefs and connect with who they are really at the soul level. Once you are aligned in mind, body and spirit, you will find a living you are living a more authentic life filled with passion and purpose. So we've kind of already answered what, what does it mean to be aligned with your mind, body and soul? But how can people? What are some things simple things that people could do starting today right now after they listen to this episode that they can become more aligned with their mind, body and soul? Oh, my gosh.

Kim:

I mean, there's there's little techniques like I at this point, Tara, and I really believe everybody and anybody should be meditating. I mean, and it doesn't have to be meditating in the way that you assume meditation exists, you know, you, you need to become familiar with your mind. That's the point of meditation. And so to quiet yourself, your actual body to sit down and just listen to what's going on in here allows you to start to differentiate between what is your mind and what is you. And as you do that, that's like learning that mind body connection, right? And then as you continue to familiarize yourself with it, what will end up happening is you feel a deeper connection in your heart and in your soul. Because what you're doing is you're you're reprogramming your mind, you're reprogramming your belief system to recognize that, Oh, my gosh, wait a minute, I, these thoughts aren't me. And if they aren't me, there's got to be something else. And when you start to lean into your heart, you start to realize that there is that connection, there is this deep divine connection within us all. And so meditation, hands down, absolutely start doing that. But journaling, I would say for both, like both of us is like our go to I think that thing that gets me in touch the deepest with myself. And it lets me see myself honestly, no. Journal prompts are great, free writing is my jam. Um, and then there's also I mean, this is like, contradictory one. But the Shadow Work, like Shadow Work allows you to dive deep into yourself, see the shadow side of you that is probably afraid to be seen. And when you start to bring that to the light, what you end up doing is going through a process that's pretty difficult in your body, it will feel uncomfortable, but once it's released, you will feel comfortable. And so I think I'll just give this, this exercise and somebody can do it if they choose. So a lot of times our shadow self are is just our side that likes to be hidden. So if you sit down and literally make a chart and on one side write your positive qualities, right everything you know to be true about you that's positive, what is often your shadow is the opposite of that positive. And so that's the other side. So for instance, like I would say previously that I'm super honest, okay, I have a tendency to blurt out things, even if I shouldn't it's my I think it's a positive but it can be a negative, I guess. So that's me, but the negative side of that is or the opposite. I don't know what to say negative the shadow side of that would be that I'm a liar. Right. So I'm honesty. I think that's an amazing quality to have. But then there's the shadow side of myself. It's a liar, because she lies about who she really was. She's lied for so long. About About what she wanted about who I wanted to be what I wanted to lean into, because I was hiding that self of me. And so oftentimes your body, when you start to when you just say all of a sudden, when you're like, I am a liar, your body will have a visceral reaction, right? I'm so uncomfortable because you are shaking this familiar pattern. And something that's been hidden deep down in that subconscious mind for most of your life is now coming to the light. And so your body is literally like, Oh my god, what do we do? Put it away? Put it away? Why is she letting it be seen? Right? And when you acknowledge, Oh, honey, like, it's okay to be a liar In this sense, right? You lied. That's not your fault. There was nothing wrong with it. And then when you start to look at, when did I start to say that this characteristic is something that has to be hidden? When did what moment presented itself in my life that I thought that this was not an okay trait to have. And when you pinpoint it to a specific event, you can see it objectively and be like, Oh, my gosh, I was eight years old. It was my thought that I had to start hiding myself. I was eight when I thought that it wasn't okay to be who I wanted to be. And then I had to start lying about who I was. And as you do that, you will literally feel energy and emotions that have been stored in your body come to the surface and naturally released from your body. It will feel Oh my God, I've got like full body chills. You'll like that. You'll feel a weight lifted off your shoulder because you've been carrying this and it's been stored in your body. Your entire life.

Melissa Bright:

Yeah. Well, I got up. I got to learn more about the Shadow Work. Yes, girl. Yes. Yeah, I really I really do. Because as soon as you said that you were a liar. And I was like, Wait, what? And then you explained why you were a liar. I was like, Oh, okay.

Kim:

Yeah. So there's just, we don't want to bring to the surface because we're embarrassed about it. Or we're shamed by them. Because society has taught us that there are positive and negative characteristics. There are positive and negative emotions. That's all bullshit. Yeah, there's just characteristics. There's just emotions. Yep, you have to be able to bring all of that to the surface and really feel it and lean into it, to be able to grow to be able to change to be able to evolve into your higher self or who you want to be. Yes, work is super important. Yeah. Especially because it's just stored in your body like you guys don't want that you want all the energy that you have available to you to be able to create, versus being stagnant and being this being that you've always been?

Melissa Bright:

Yeah. 100% I love it. I love it. I love it really quickly. For anybody that is watching on Facebook right now, I don't know how much of a delay there is. But if you guys are listening in watching this conversation, and if you guys have a question for Kim, and Tara, please feel free to put it in the comments. And we would be happy to answer that question. I'm still going along with my questions. But if you guys want to pop in and write one, I would be happy to ask them what your question is. Okay, Tara, I'm kicking it over to you now. So your sole purpose is to help people create calm and balance in order to expand your awareness, I will meet you where you are on an on your journey and assist in your personal growth. So first of all, what does that mean to expand your awareness? And then the second part of that question is, what are some things that people could do starting today, that could help them expand their awareness?

Tara:

I mean, okay, so, so often, where we don't even realize what's going on, right? Like we said, we live a lot of our day unconsciously. So when you bring awareness to what you're doing, you really live in the moment you live in the now because really, there only is the now, right? So you have to take the time to be present, to be mindful to recognize what's going on around you. And to recognize like what's happening in your body and how you're feeling. And it's a lot of the same things like for awareness. Again, meditation is huge. And like I said, meditation doesn't have to be sitting in the dark and the client with your candles burning and humming. You can go for a walk, you can maybe you're a painter, and while you're painting, that's when you feel that like relaxed, meditative state or maybe it's when you're washing the dishes or exercising or dancing. So it doesn't have to be that like typical, you know, sitting crisscross and another thing like you can engage in a mindful practice. So we have on our website, and we have lots of freebies. And one of the freebie things that we have is a 30 day mindfulness challenge, and it's really just 30 days of different activities. that you can do to start to cultivate a mindful lifestyle. And then, of course, like there's, again, there's journaling. And it's a lot of the same practices that, like Kim just mentioned, yeah, just work together. And when you really start any of these practices, like it opens up your entire self to this whole new world of learning about yourself, learning about who you are, why you do the things you do, and to really like stay present and to be aware,

Melissa Bright:

yeah, great answer. Great answer. So, question for you about journaling. Would it be wrong because here's the thing I know I should be journaling. But it's like, I get tired of all this frickin work. I have to do workout journal meditate. It's like, how many freakin hours in the day, can I do all this stuff? So I really started doing well, I haven't done it recently. But audio journaling, getting one of my voice memos out, and just talking into that, whether it's just something I want to get out of my brain because it's bothering me, but I just need to say it. Would it be bad to do an audio journal?

Tara:

Oh, no. And here's the thing, if you don't feel like journaling, don't do it. There's no right and wrong to your practice, you have to honor yourself and what feels good for you. So there are days that do I feel like meditating? Hell no. So I don't do it. Right. Like there. I mean, very few days, I don't feel like journaling, because that's just really my jam. But if I don't feel like doing it, I don't do it. If I don't feel like exercising, I don't do it. You have to honor the way you feel. And so that it doesn't become a chore,

Kim:

you know, exactly what we ended up deciding to do, or so because at one point in our lives, we were very regimented, like, first, we're going to do this, then we're going to do this, then we're going to do this and whatever it is, yeah. Oh, instead of do it, looking at it that way, I'd invite you to start looking at like, how much time are you going to devote to you a day. And whether it's 30 minutes, and that's all you've got, or whether it's an hour, every day that you're going to do whatever it is for you. Look at that hour, look at those 30 minutes and ask yourself, ask your body as your higher self, what is it that I'm called to do today? Is it and the full 30 minutes working out? Is it to spend 15 minutes or 20 minutes doing an intense workout? And then I'm going to do 10 minutes of meditation? Or is it going to be that I'm going to not work out at all today. But I'm going to do intensive journaling practices, and then I'm going to meditate and I'm going to do somatic shaking, and I'm going to do all these other different healing modalities that you can incorporate. So it's more so about what what are you allowing What are you allotting to yourself each day? Yeah. And then if you're not, and if and this is the other thing, if you're only allotting yourself five minutes, I'm going to go ahead and call bullshit.

Melissa Bright:

The truth is, is

Kim:

our entire day is our routine. Our entire day is our habits is who we are. So if you are like, you know what, I just don't have time in my life to become this higher version of myself or to start working on myself, then no, look at your routine, and what can you replace, so maybe you drive to Dunkin Donuts every single morning to get a coffee and you wait in line for 15 minutes. And by the time you leave, it's 20 minutes, okay? That 20 minutes could be better spent at home with you making coffee at home. interchange the activities that you have to give yourself because we all have the same 24 hours in a day. You're not you wake up actively in our choosing you in every single moment.

Tara:

And it's just too It doesn't mean you have to go from nothing to an hour and a half every right when just build it out in you know, a couple of minute increments until like it feels right.

Melissa Bright:

Yeah. Oh, that's good. So something that I have, I'm recently starting to do so my boyfriend wakes up and listens to the news. And I don't like the news. I don't I do not like that to be my morning. And so we really don't spend the mornings together, honestly. And so we got rid of this patio furniture because it was like stools and we're old and we can't sit on stools anymore. We need back support. Okay, so I just bought this patio furniture and it came yesterday and my boyfriend put it together. And he surprised me because I thought it wasn't getting here till like later last night. And so now I have it on my patio and every morning. That's where I'm going to be drinking my frickin coffee, reading a book playing with my puppy. I went out there this morning to like put together these questions. And it's I'm just like, it's amazing. Yeah, I'm so excited.

Kim:

Yeah, it's so life giving honestly, when you start whatever that routine looks like when you start to realize you're doing this for you because it feels good for you and that you can't be your higher self without it. It's life giving. Yes, it gives you so much more energy to create exactly what you're what you're trying to create in your life. Yeah,

Melissa Bright:

yeah. Well, I just have a couple more questions for you guys. I know we're at an hour and a half but we're having so much fun here. So it's great. So if somebody were to start, like doing one of your coaching sessions, one to one of your one on one coaching sessions, what really starts in the first session? Like, what are the what is something, you're the very first thing that you do whenever you start meeting with somebody? Sure. So we have

Kim:

a, we have actually three different packages. So our 12 week is for somebody who is just starting their spiritual journey, right, who is probably going through an awakening doesn't really recognize it is interested in spirituality in general. Our second package is for somebody that's already on their spiritual journey. And so that's an eight week package. And then our last one is for somebody who's stuck. And that's a four week. So our first sessions are always a little bit different based on your needs, right? So Tara and I, how we operate, I do a session, and then she does a session with a client, and it goes back and forth. So you get two coaches, essentially, yeah. And so for the first session is always me. And so for the 12 week, what we introduce right away is we talk about deconditioning. What that is we talk about unlearning. We talk about spirituality just in general. And then we do all sorts of teaching transformational modalities, whether that's learning about tapping, learning, ways to meditate, discussing affirmations, formations, semantic shaking, journaling, spiritual practices, breathwork, all of that, we kind of incorporate that all into that first session, so that you're prepared as we go along, to continue to kind of use these tools as you go. somebody that's an eight week though, we start off right away with, we develop your spiritual practice right away, and what you're going to consistently work through or try to work on. But we dive right into ego and self awareness. Because us awareness is the gateway, right? It's the gateway to everything everything. As you become more aware, you become aware of your patterns, you become aware of your thoughts, you become aware of the creative belief systems you've have. And it allows you to dive deep inside of yourself. And then in our four week, that's a completely tailored program. And so that just depends on where that person is. Sure. So that might be way more down, way more into like inner child healing and past life regression, and like all sorts of different things that

Melissa Bright:

we do there. Yeah, awesome. Well, thank you for explaining that. And then really quickly, because my self just told me to ask what semantic shaking is because what the is that? Okay, so somatic Shakib is um yes, feel Matic I said semantic somatic in a way.

Kim:

So there are they're getting more into like somatic therapies, just in general, basically, like natural healing practices to move your bodies. And so for some people, like if you do EMDR, or whatever, that's like really moving your eyes and mefi. Right. So somatic shaking is really just shaking your entire body. It's like getting that energy moving. And so for some people, like even in between sessions, and we work with coaches and whatnot, ourselves, so sometimes, like, it's literally just shaking your face, like literally a minute, or it's like flat, like kind of like flapping your hands, right? shaking or shaking your whole body. So for us, like after I work out, Tara does the same thing. We try to shake for like a five minute span. And so um, you just shake all that energy, it's moving all that energy. And while it's doing that, it's also regulating your central nervous system. Yep. And so that all goes hand in hand. So if you're feeling down, or if you're having a difficult day, I mean, literally shake it out when you start to learn how your body works, or natural practices that you can do to bring your body back in alignment.

Melissa Bright:

Yeah. Oh, yes. So I just learned about like regulation and what that is through Dr. Bruce Perry's book, and Oprah Winfrey's book What happened to you? That book? Yes. And how she regulates herself is I'm pretty sure she goes like on nature walks every Sunday, like that's her day. And like dancing is something that can regulate your body because it's, it's all about the like, the rhythm kind of is that is that right? Yeah. That singing this is why Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Kim:

He regulates your vagus nerve too. And so it all goes hand in hand. Like, when you think about it, though, like, okay, shaking and singing and dancing. We are supposed to be living like our inner child. We were supposed to do and we just stopped doing them. So no wonder all these people we're all struggling with all sorts of mental illness. We're struggling with sadness, and we're struggling with disease because we're not living how our bodies were designed. Yep.

Melissa Bright:

Yep. Exactly. This is wonderful. Okay, so if people want to get connect or if people want to get connected with you if they possibly want to take one of your programs, how can people find you?

Kim:

Sure. So we have our website is www dot soulful healers Comm. You can kind of look at our different packages on there, but we do a free discovery call with every one of our clients to see if we're up aligned fit. And at that point we kind of go over where they're at where we're at what we can do for them and how we can best serve them. You can also find us on Instagram at we are soulful healers and and tick tock at soulful healers.

Melissa Bright:

Perfect. Okay, so I just have one last question, and you guys have to both answer this individually. So I'm gonna ask Tara first, I'm putting her in the hot seat first. Okay. Tara, in your own words, what does the bright side of life mean to you? Oh,

Tara:

you know what, you know what it means? It means living your life? with no regrets. It means living as your authentic self as the highest version of yourself embodying everything that you want to be?

Melissa Bright:

Yes. That was perfect answer. perfect answer. All right, Kim, you can't take that answer now. So Kim, with your own words,

Kim:

I agree with exactly with what Tara said that I'll even just add a little bit more. I think it's to start to enter every experience with a new perspective. Instead of looking at an experience even a difficult experiences God, this really hurts or God, this is hard to look at life and look at that moment as what is this giving me? What What am I learning from this moment? Is there an emotion I'm learning that I'm leaning into? Is there something that's creating space for me to develop something bigger and better? It's really to change that perspective and start to look at every little moment in your life as happening for you, versus happening to you.

Melissa Bright:

Yeah. And it makes life so much easier when these stressful things that that happened that happened to us, or that's kind of, you know, our perspective. But then also, like you said, just becoming aware of it. And it's just amazing the way things how my life seems stressful before, in certain ways, because I just get easily stressed out, I'm really trying to be mindful of it. And I'm like, why am I stressed about that, like, that's not that big of a deal. And it's all about changing the mindset. And it's just awesome. Ladies, I cannot thank you guys enough for coming on here to share all of your wonderful stories and all of your knowledge that you have about spiritual work. And if anybody wants to connect with them and get any coaching programs, their information will also be in the show notes. So you can go right there. But do you guys have anything that you want to add before? Before we go?

Kim:

I just thank you so much for having us. And truly, we absolutely believe that everybody is going to embark on their healing journey or spiritual journey in the time that's meant for them. So if you're in that deep, dark place right now know that it will get better.

Melissa Bright:

Yeah. That's a great thing to end on. Because it does happen at any time. Like it could happen when you're 35 going through a pandemic. Yes. Yeah. Like mine. Wow, wow. Wow, is all I can say what an incredible episode. I enjoy today. So much, learning about all about spirituality, and really getting to know Kim and Tara more. We have been following each other on Instagram for a really long time. And today's episode was just awesome. And I learned a lot. I hope that you guys learned a lot if you guys want to go back and listen, you heard that I did do this. I did do a Facebook Live of this episode earlier, and it is in our Facebook group. So if you guys ever want to check those out, I think I'm going to start kind of really scheduling out those Facebook Live. So if my listeners would like to pop on and watch those they can so I just wanted to let you guys know about that. Like I mentioned at the beginning of the show, it would mean a lot to me if you would rate and review this podcast and that can be done at the bright side of life podcast comm slash reviews or you can do that directly on Apple podcast. And as always, you guys know if somebody needs to hear cam or terrorist story and what they're doing, please share this episode with them because you never know if this is the one that puts hope back in their heart.

Kim and TaraProfile Photo

Kim and Tara

Spiritual Empowerment Coaching

Kim and Tara first met 8 years ago and became fast friends before working together in the educational field. Once Covid hit, they lost their jobs and their identity with it. This began their spiritual awakening and continued path on a self-discovery journey.

Kim realized that she had repressed her traumatic childhood and was living with limiting beliefs and a scarcity mindset. She had lived in a home life situation with a father who was unmedicated and mentally ill, suffered from schizoaffective disorder, and a mother who over worked to avoid the situation at home. Her violent, aggressive, chaotic childhood had manifested itself into her adult life where she was working 60 hours a week, unfulfilled, and addicted to a chaotic lifestyle. Through her spiritual journey, she has become fulfilled, living with an abundant mindset, has found her inner spark and reconnected with her soul.

Tara grew up in an environment where she dealt with parentification, adultifiaction, and a narcissistic Step Mom. Her awakening brought awareness that patterns from her childhood kept presenting themselves throughout her life. She realized she was seeking external validation to fulfill her lack of self-love and self-worth.

Their journey allowed them to find their purpose of serving others. It is now their hope to walk as many people as possible through their spiritual journey so they can become their higher selves.