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March 29, 2022

How to achieve an intuitive, aware, and abundant mindset. Steve Barton's story.


Owner and founder Steve Barton, a successful businessman for over 40 years, is an experienced entrepreneur with a broad range of leadership skills. Steve provides a unique process, using intuitive and strategic vision to help people produce strong results and success in their personal life as well as in business. He is a coach certified by the Gestalt International Study Center.

In this episode we talk about:
-What is the Game of Ten
-What is the game often played.
-How can we become more aware
-How can we get to a state of 10
-How can we get create abundance.
-Things to say and not say when manifesting

To connect with Steve: https://www.overthelookingglass.com/

Download your Free digital copy of The Father, the Son, and  the aha Moment here: https://thegameof10.com/

Buy his book here
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Transcript

Steve Barton:

It's a state of when you're just euphoric. Everything is happening for you and with you, and you're aligned in life. Of course, America says there's no debris of miracles. Everything is a miracle. There are no degrees of it, you have to see it.

Melissa Bright:

Welcome to The Bright Side of Life, a podcast where people share their personal stories of struggles, pain and grief. But through all of that, they are still able to find the joys in life. Hello, everyone, and welcome to this week's episode of the bright side of life. I am your host, Melissa bright, I do not know if this is your first time joining us here. Or if you have listened to every episode in which if you have, I love you very much. But if you have not yet subscribed to the podcast, please be sure to do so on your favorite listening platform so you never miss an episode. And if you just love, love, love the podcast so much. And you would like to support the show, you can do so by writing a review on the website, sharing your favorite episodes on social media and with friends and family. Or lastly, you can make donations by going to the donate page on the website. Whatever you choose to do, however you choose to support the podcast, I am very grateful. And also you can do all of that stuff right on the bright side of life podcast.com. And today we are talking to Steve Barton. Steve is an intuitive awareness and abundant mind coach, but he is also the author of a brand new book called The Father, the Son and the aha moment. So before we go any further, let's go ahead and introduce Steve to the show. Steve, welcome to The Bright Side of Life. How are you doing today?

Steve Barton:

I'm doing great. And I'm grateful to be here with you, Melissa. And I just got back from Florida for a month. And on the way back, we listened to five of your podcasts and enjoyed everyone. And I'm here.

Melissa Bright:

Well, thank you. I'm glad you got to listen to some of them to check them out. Okay, so we have lots and lots to cover today. And a couple of things that we're going to talk about is we're going to talk about your story. And then we're going to talk about your book and the approach that you have been I don't want to say made up but you have coined the term, the game of 10. And we're going to talk about that. And along with this approach. We're going to go over ways that people listeners can achieve an intuitive, aware and abundant mindset. So we got lots to talk about. Can you tell me a little bit of your backstory and how you went from being in the flower industry to now being a coach? And can I ask you because I kind of made up? What kind of coach you were. So what do you call yourself? What kind of what kind of coach do you say you are?

Steve Barton:

I love what you said. So from now on. That's what I'm that's what made me so

Melissa Bright:

perfect. Perfect. Perfect. All right. So tell me the story of how you went from flower industry to now being a coach.

Steve Barton:

Well, when I was 22 years old, I was working I've always been in my family owned a flower business since I was probably 10. And I was always in the flower business. My grandparents had it. So I was always around it. So it was just a given when we used to have to make corsage boxes, so we get two cents a box. We don't have money $3 A week or that was plenty to have. And so as I was doing that, then when I got my license, I was a delivery boy. And then I was designing when I was I remember going to fourth grade, we had to do a project I did a floral arrangement in fourth grade. And it was plastic flowers. And and that is really the thing before six came in. So I've seen in the business and I did that for 29 years full time. And when I was 22. I was it's in the book, and I could never work with my father. It was just oil, oil and water. And so I was on my way to Europe to study flow design. And two days before I was leaving, I had no plans and coming back two days as far as leaving, the father had a full on stroke. And he was at a full convention through FTD and in Kansas City, Missouri. And so at 22 years old, I luckily I had my my bachelor's degree in business, and so I was ready to do it. And so at 22 years old, I was running the business

Melissa Bright:

amazing. And

Steve Barton:

my staff were in their 40s and 50s and and that was quite interesting to be their boss at 22 years old.

Melissa Bright:

Yeah. And I'm sure they said the same to you.

Steve Barton:

They said things like, I've been doing this into in diapers and things like that.

Melissa Bright:

Yeah, yeah. And, but at the same time, like you didn't necessarily ask for this. This was just kind of the way your life was unfolding. Your father now had a stroke. Like, somebody had to step up to the plate. That wasn't your fault.

Steve Barton:

Exactly. And it's something I always wanted to do. It was, you know, even in the fourth grade, what do you want to be when you grow up? florist? Yeah. It was never really a choice. It was just though is what I wanted to do. And after 29 years of doing it, it's I left liking the business, not loving it. So it was time to leave.

Melissa Bright:

Yeah, yeah. So then, how long ago? How long ago? Did you leave the business? And how long have you been a mindset coach? Like, where did that transition come in?

Steve Barton:

We sold the business in just before the crash in 2007. Okay, this is how do you know? Because I'm smart. And everything shut down for about six months. There were no people weren't spending money on flowers, corporate corporate accounts, all started just saying no more floral arrangements in the lobby and, and gap. There was a tough when we sold it was a tough year for the new owners. And that worked out perfectly because he was my general manager for seven years. And we were doing about $2 million in sales. By the time we left. And he had left, my general manager left seven years prior, had a fight with my father left, oh, I bought a bought a shop down the street that was established. He was doing a great job. He was my competition to really build the business out and sell it. And that's what I did. And he called me up. We had a couple of buyers interested around the country. And he called me up from down the street said, Hey, would you ever consider selling to me? Absolutely. And it was turnkey. He knew what he was doing. And I never had to go back.

Melissa Bright:

That's awesome. So it sounds like it was a pretty, pretty smooth transition.

Steve Barton:

And I own the building. When we sold the business. I kept the building. So I had rental property coming in. And and that was

Melissa Bright:

so yeah, that's awesome. Okay, so you have a book that literally just released in January, is that currently 27th? Yeah. Okay. So very, very recent. And talk to me about that story. What made you write that book, which is called the Father, the Son and the aha moment? And it's, I think it's like tools to happiness with your child or

Steve Barton:

tools to follow the path for happiness for the child. Yeah.

Melissa Bright:

Okay, that's it. So how did all of that and I know some of this from the book, it, you know, obviously talks about how you got to this point, but my listeners don't know. So how did you get to the point of what may what inspired you to write this book?

Steve Barton:

Well, I have a, I get divorce and to about seven years ago, and I was held with a 58 years old with a 13 year old son. Okay. So his mother was a very hands on mother and, and she was basically his parent and didn't really allow me any space to to be his father or I was in the room with him. She was always, you know, do you have homework to do? Don't you have to do this? Don't you have to do that? So I was really not prepared to be the a primary caregiver for my son. Yeah. And I got custody half 5050. And so yeah, so we actually I lived with my sister for three months because I had no place to live. So I live with three months and then coincidentally, a apartment opened up over the garage of my parents house. It was a one bedroom apartment, over the garage. I was came from a $2 million home on the water in Casco Bay Maine. So it was a big, you know, it was a 3000 square foot home right on the water and going from there, back to my my family home over the living over the garage. The good thing was my son had a finished basement with a bedroom off it. So he had that go from the apartment, open the door, go downstairs, and he has his dog too. We had a Labradoodle. And so Perry Winco would come over. It was and then the grant To downstairs, and they luckily he got to know my grandparents, his grandparents really would have had this not happened.

Melissa Bright:

Yeah. And how old? Was he seven years ago? He was 13. Oh, that's right. That's right. That's right. Okay.

Steve Barton:

And so we get to know each other in a way they never would have. Yeah, I got divorced. So, how the book got started, I always knew. In 2015, I did. I got my certificate from the Gestalt, the international study center in Wellfleet, Massachusetts.

Melissa Bright:

And what is that for people that don't know what that is? That is a,

Steve Barton:

it's just out there. It's based on Gestalt therapy. And it's a coaching program. One of the I feel it's one of the best in the country. There's a few, but this is a really good one. Yeah. So I did that. And I really loved it. And there's some stories that happen in the book, Mike, the coach that I was coaching me, there were five of us in there were 10 people in the group, and what happened to categories? So my coach had five, and she was director of the South international study center for many years. She was head of at&t world for human resources. She corrected me because I said that she was head of she was head of at&t human resources. North America, she says, so I sent her the copy that part that she was in? Yeah, she's just this one little correction to is ahead of the world. Of course, you were she ended up hiring me to coach her in one of the talents that I have.

Melissa Bright:

What's that talent, you can't just not say what your talent is.

Steve Barton:

Well, sometimes I sometimes people come from the other side, to communicate through me to a loved one, to kind of like Teresa compito of the Long Island Medium. So I was we had three modulars, five days, over an eight month period. And on the fifth night evening, we all went out to dinner, because we all got along with each other and, and Marian walk is her name. She's in the book. Yeah. She gave me permission to tell everything. And I was doing some readings for other people just, you know, having fun cocktail, you know, with cocktails and dinner and, and one of the students outed me in front of everyone. And I've only known them full of these people for like four and a half days. Right. And one of the person sitting next to me sits Oh, Steve does readings. And I was talking to another woman across the table. Both of us she knew the table. And she her eyes got bugged out, mine got bugged out. And let's do it. And next thing I know, I hear Mary intro across down the table, long table and across the table. And she's from Arkansas, and she was about 64 at the time. And she goes, maybe he'll get my deceased husband. And he'd never done this impromptu before. Right, right. And why know the rules. If I can't think if I start thinking I can't do it. So I have to just put myself myself small s aside and let it happened. And next thing I know, I go who's Ralph? And she slams her hand down, because that's my deceased husband. And he said, Just talking away telling all the things that he wanted to share with her and it was just loving. Love, love, love and new things that were going on your life and and then he said to me, she said from across the table. I've asked him to find me a man. And I go, Oh, Ralph says I have He looks just like Joe Garagiola. And in the book, it explains who Joe get Joe Garagiola used to be on the Today Show. He was a catcher from the Yankees and the Dodgers or something like that. And so yes, he looks like just like go Joe. Everyone's going in between while he was doing this, I heard out of my eight years, the F word. What is what's he doing? And, and I just did my thing. And the next day. She gathered up we all were leaving that that day. And she said in front of a whole group, she said, Steve, what you heard last night, what you witness last night as a gift can't be taught and what we can do for you, Steve is to give you the framework for the from the Gestalt Institute to use in your coaching. Yeah. So that was the great phrase and, and getting we, you know we became instant friends. Right? How can you not be Right exactly. The funny The funniest part was after everyone said leaving, she comes up to me goes, Can you teach me to do what you do? And I said yes. And she goes, Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm your coach finished the program when you get your diploma, we'll talk. I said, I didn't say a word about it until I think it was May. And as soon as I got my diploma and everyone's leaving to go home, I walked out Prusa he's still interested. She goes, yeah. And I said, Let's talk she goes. So we went out into the lobby and sat down, and I. And she says, What do you charge? And I said, not enough. To give you $1,000 For five sessions, I said, that's perfect. And then I asked her, I said, on a scale of one to 10, what is your intuition? And she said, I'm a solid seven. I said, That's pretty high. Yeah. And she says, Yeah, I'm pretty intuitive. I said, Okay. So you want to be a 10? She was Yeah. And that is how it finalized. I had it in the process. I had the process of the game of Tim was starting. Okay, solidified it. And she was my one of my first coaching clients with the game of 10. Yeah. And her stories are in the book. And they are on believable.

Melissa Bright:

Yes, yes. And I definitely remember her story. And then what happens which we will not spoil that. So the book is based on and please correct me if I'm wrong. On the premise of this, this game of 10.

Steve Barton:

It is. It's, it's kind of a Trojan horse. And I worked with the Author Incubator, Angela Lauria, out of Washington, DC. She was a ghostwriter. She'd been in the business for 25 years and amazing company, and she helps new authors write a book. And so there's a month training on how to write a book, the mindset of writing books, a lot of coaching a lot of tools to read a book, because if you've never written a book, most people who started book never finish, right. And then the statistics are 96% of the people in the world want to write a book. 3% do,

Melissa Bright:

right. So it's amazing, by the way.

Steve Barton:

Thank you. And so when I first interview where I was taking a course, Miracle nighted coaching with Marianne Williamson, and that's how it started. I've been studying A Course in Miracles for close to 3029 years now. And so I'd love and have listened to Marian waves and tapes and just really admire her work. She and Eckhart Tolle a probably my biggest. I'm a big fan of both of them in the way that they teach and articulate how, how we are as human beings. So Marianne was a part of that. And then she was also part of during COVID, she took two years off, because she wasn't traveling the world doing her lectures. And so she worked with the Author Incubator. So I called up. I saw on Facebook, that they would write a book. Yeah. And I was interested. And Angela says, You're a miracle minded coach in two and you want to write a book. I said, Yeah, but I finished all the homework in a month. And I know, I know. You're in a category, my desk. We don't know what to do with you. Nobody's ever written a book and done the coaching course at the same or the coaching course at the same time. Yeah. And we don't know what to do with you. I said, but that's been my life, pretty much.

Melissa Bright:

Not a bad thing.

Steve Barton:

I've been in the category. We don't have to do with Steve. He does all this with him. And, yeah, so I was pretty much used to that. But yeah, we'll take you on. And we'll do it. And she goes, What's the name of your book? I said, Well, it's gonna be on the game of 10. And she goes, yeah, no one's gonna buy that.

Melissa Bright:

How did you respond to that?

Steve Barton:

I just did dead silence. I said, Okay.

Melissa Bright:

Did you believe her? Or did you know

Steve Barton:

that I just didn't I just played with her. And I said, I didn't say a word. And you don't wanna know why? I said, No, you just told me that no one's gonna buy it. Just gave her some dead silence. It was driving her crazy. Yeah, I want to tell you why I said good. Because nobody's gonna buy that book because you're not Beyonce. Meaning you're not famous if Michelle Obama or Oprah Winfrey wrote the game of 10, a war by the New York Times bestseller, and she goes, What else you got? I said, Well, my son and I are reading it together. Because I love it. I can sell that Chico's I can sell that shit all day long. Right? So it turned into a book on parenting. And that is the Trojan horse because it's actually a book on mindset. Yes, it is. It's a book on mindset. And, yeah, so the funny story was Marianne Williamson, we've, every Wednesday afternoon is incubated church, and from four o'clock, from four o'clock to five o'clock, Marianne would come on. There's 20 of us. Okay, I was the only male in the group of 20 women. Okay, so she knew who I was. Yeah. And she asked me, she says, Steve, how did you come about reading a book with your son? And I said, good question. And so he's living about 25 minutes away from me. He in His mother very COVID. averse, adverse? Yeah. And so he was starting very rarely. So if he did, it was six feet away with a mask. And but every time you come over to the house, he was Qatal. Talking about the world, the economy. He's very smart. He's gifted, intellectually, and

Melissa Bright:

look at you.

Steve Barton:

And he was always complaining about, you know, our economic systems, political systems, the global warming and just, it was just he'd go on and on and on. And on and on. This is the third time he came over. He was doing his diatribe. And

Melissa Bright:

what is he doing? What does that have a diatribe?

Steve Barton:

Just doing a rant of Oh, okay. A continual rant.

Melissa Bright:

Okay. Okay. Just I didn't know that word. Now. I do.

Steve Barton:

Yeah. And so finally, I just said no selling Marianne Williamson this to face to face. And I said, Spencer, what are you doing about this? gave him the pregnant pause. Yeah. And marrying, slaps a hand down. What do you say? And I said, Spencer, do something about it, or shut the fuck up. Your hearing goes, I love it. I love what you do. Because you hear all these people complain, complain about this and that and, and they're doing nothing about it. Yeah. So this is the reason that we wrote the book, I had something that I wanted to get out for six years, this would be the perfect time to do it. And to do it with my 19 year old son.

Melissa Bright:

Yeah. And was he on board in terms of what it was going to be around like mindset and stuff, because it sounds at this point, you guys were kind of maybe on opposite ends, you were very much like solutions, let's find a solution where he was just bitching about the problem, but maybe hadn't. I mean, also, like, who's gonna sit there and maybe solve world economics and what but you get what I'm saying he was kind of just bitching about the problem without a solution. So what did he say when you asked him to help write a book? And did you tell him what it was gonna be about?

Steve Barton:

He was all excited about it. He loved the idea that he was going to be able to do something, we can get the he knows the game of 10. We've been talking about this for six years, seven years. And she knows it. And he was all on board. He didn't like the idea of is gonna be a father son. Book. He didn't buy into it. And he says, why don't we just do the game of tennis? I'm not Beyonce. That's why That's what so he was fighting that tooth and nail and but he's okay with it, man.

Melissa Bright:

Yeah. And in my honest opinion, I was not expecting the book to be about what it was. I set aside a whole day to go and read your book. I laid in bed and put on meditation music. And I started reading it and reading it and I was like, holy shit. This is so much deeper. Like having to pause and take it in. And I loved it because it really truly makes you think. It really, really does. So, I know people are probably like, What the hell is the game of 10? You guys have talked about this? What does that mean? So Steve, can you explain in layman's terms? What is the game of 10?

Steve Barton:

I think what's so good about it, too? Is it is in layman's terms. Yes, it makes it everything you already know. In a way that's never been said before. And the game of 10 is a different game than the game off. 10 played. So there's two games that we're playing in life. And one is the game of 10. Where everything is in alignment. Everyone is super groovy, great. And life, life is in flow and, and everything happens and all the miracles are happening in your life. And as bluebirds around you and sang itself is playing, the game often played, which is life, just crap. And, and just shitty things are happening all the time. And we attract this energy. So I would say 90% of the people are playing some sort of the game often played 99% And maybe 1% of the population is playing the game of 10.

Melissa Bright:

Yes. Yes.

Steve Barton:

What I wanted to accomplish and my son wanted to accomplish is having more people have more days that everything is in alignment.

Melissa Bright:

I just thought of a question. It's got to come back to me. And I don't know if it's going to so hold please. Oh, how? How did you yourself, get to this game of 10? How did did this happen overnight? Was this a work in progress was this What did that look like for you to be able to want to tell other people and help other people get to this place?

Steve Barton:

It was a process of lots of crappy things happening. And also, I was listening to Eckhart Tolle les tapes. And it's one of these things that when you hear the truth, it's like the book, you can read it over and over and over again and pick out something different that you didn't get. Yeah, what I got was a whole synthesized version of what it is to be in alignment. Yeah. So tell me your question again.

Melissa Bright:

How did how did you get to that process? How did you learn the process of Game of 10 yourself to then be able to help people achieve that also.

Steve Barton:

So it was a long process in and also was a quick process? Okay? because a friend of mine, who's a life coach said to me, Steve, when you wrote the game of 10, was it a long process or just download it? And I said, it was a download, yeah. Boom, there it is all the tumblers and came into alignment. And it was so simple, which it always is simple. The truth is always simple. And we have our conditioned mind or ego, which makes it complicated. And it's a veil, and it wants to be complicated, so you won't figure it out.

Melissa Bright:

Yes, 100%. So, I really want to break this down even more, and I want to break it down. Because if listeners don't understand this, some of the things that we're even saying now because I am very, very new to all of this. Self awareness. Alignment being in flow, and people might be like, What in the hell are these people talking about like that? They are not speaking my language. So alignment. Can you explain what that means for people like what does what does that look like in someone's life? If they are in alignment,

Steve Barton:

all right, you call it to it's called hundreds of things and self help the zone, okay, I'm in the zone. I'm in flow, runner's high, heightened state of awareness. What other it's a state of when you're just euphoric. Right, having a having your first baby, you know, having just everything's going into every day. I just think about this that you called. I've been looking for that. I found it and it was that it was free. You know, it was things like that. So that's what alignment is. It's, everything is happening for you and with you, and you're aligned in life, daily life, it can be very simple. Of course, America says there's no degree of miracles. Everything is a miracle. There are no degrees of it. You have to see it.

Melissa Bright:

I love that. Okay, so now, this is what I'm thinking. Steve. I love everything that you were saying right now. But bad shit has happened to me. Okay. I've lost both of my parents. I just lost my dad last year. How can you tell me that there are miracles? And how can I possibly be in a state of 10 when bad shit does happen to me and it has happened.

Steve Barton:

You're always 10. And sometimes you don't know it. Yeah, we're having a we're having our bathroom redone. Upstairs. So if you ever hear anything, and it's I'm telling this story because it's Jeremy. And where you went to his birthday party about eight months ago. It was at a Japanese hibachi Steakhouse. And they had the flipping of the shrimp. That and squirting of the saqi in the mouth. Yes. My girlfriend Liz was to my left, and Jeremy's mother was to my right around the corner of the table, and her name was Jenny, or is Jenny. And I remember that. Jeremy's father just passed away. Probably five months prior. I'm talking to Jenny just matter. And so Jenny's sitting there and I said, Did your husband just pass away? And she goes, Yeah, I said, How you doing? Because I said, Great, surprisingly great. You know, the way he died, he's, he was walking down. He was 84 years old, who's walking down the stairs and just fell back on the stairs and died. Because I'm just grateful that he passed away so quickly. And all of a sudden, I just said was his name, bud. She goes now. It's Bob. Hmm. So I went back to my receipt. Place and why? That's weird. Because I'm usually right on. Yeah. And so I gave it a minute and a half. And I get the bug, okay, bugging. It feels like they're bugging me. I'm being bugged. And I go, why am I getting bogged? Who's bud? Because Oh, that's his brother. And I said, his bud passed over. Oh, yeah. I sit there right next to me, right behind me to my left. And buddy's got a Hawaiian shirt on drinking a bud. And they've come to the party, and his brother Bob was about a foot back from him to his left. Just saying nothing, you know, just there, but they came to the party. And, um, this place is really chaotic. And people are talking and I mean, but they're right there. You know, I don't even I didn't know. I know what they're wearing. I know what they're doing. I know how their expressions and there's just no, it's not even thinking, you know, you just know. So But is this loud? Enough? Going? Yeah. He's just like at the party. He was having a ball. And Bob was standing back to Bob, his teacher was a high school teacher. She says no, junior high. I said math and science because yeah, I go. Why he's not saying any words because Oh, yeah, but did all the talking. Okay. But always did all the talking. Yeah. I said they want to talk about golf. And they play golf together. Because bud lived in Massachusetts, and Bob lived in Maine. So he would come up to play golf. And next thing I know but goes with his beard as he goes, Yeah, we go to Larry row golf course nine holes. And he rolled his eyes. Empty club. You know, this is the municipal kind of a small in in South Portland, Maine. Yeah, making fun of it. Yeah, let's play it Larry row golf course all the time. So to answer your question about your mother passing. You don't die. You live. You live. And in the book I talk about 29 years ago out of body experience. And I've never felt more alive in my entire life. Never To this day, it is you it's the opposite of what you think it is. You live when you cross over.

Melissa Bright:

How? How is that possible? Like what? Explain that.

Steve Barton:

You don't have a body that restricts you, you don't have aches and pains and thoughts that are not real. You are in a state of awareness, you're in a state of bliss. Unless you have bring with you all this stuff you have not let go of,

Melissa Bright:

Oh, geez.

Steve Barton:

To the audience and us, constantly letting go of things, that feelings and emotions that are holding on to. And yeah, it's I think that's what car I don't know much about reincarnation, I don't know much about a lot of things that I'm constantly inquisitive to define No, but I'm feeling that you people want to come back to do the work that they didn't do here is my impression. So do the work here now. And you don't have to come back.

Melissa Bright:

So you can just be on vacation.

Steve Barton:

Yeah, and you can have the best of both worlds. And you can have the best of both worlds here to this. This can be heaven on earth, or it can be hell on earth can be

Melissa Bright:

good. Do you think that it's a choice? Is there is there a Melissa, you could be really sad about losing your parents and not being like them not being here anymore? Or you could heal and continue on with your life as best as you know it. I'm just trying to get over that hurdle. Because I know so many people are probably like life is freaking hard right now. So how can I even get to this place of 10 that I am grateful? Because that is a huge part of that. Right? How can we even get to that when stuff really is happening? So is that a choice? I guess was my first question.

Steve Barton:

It is a choice and you have to go through you have to go through it. Okay. You can't stop the grieving. You can't stop the pain. You can't stop the suffering. You can't stop it. You have to go through it.

Melissa Bright:

Yeah. Okay.

Steve Barton:

So I'm a big proponent of grieving. The proponent of feeling it because it came you're either born with it or you've got trauma with it. You've had a death you weren't. Didn't weren't. Were trained in this society to death is bad. We have we have funerals we have embalming we have, we don't talk about it, we cry. We we don't discuss it. We don't talk about it. They talk about in church, heaven. Christ was telling everybody that YouTube can do this and much, much more. Oh, no. Your Christ. We put you on a pedestal and you died for sins. You know, and I think Christ would. I'm not a secular so yeah. Looking at going rolling his eyes, but you missed the point. You know, you worship the crucifix and not the resurrection. So it's about the resurrection. And when we do crossover, it's a resurrection. Okay, yeah, we're back to source.

Melissa Bright:

Okay. How does one get to? So the game of 10 is a lot about awareness. A lot of people are often not in a state of awareness. They are very distracted by their phones by TV by how can we get to a state of awareness. Thank you to better health for being our sponsor. If you guys think you might need to see a therapist better help is amazing. They are online. You can do it from the comfort of your own home, you have the options to message them. You can do a phone call, you can do a video chat. Whatever you feel comfortable with doing. They have several different types of therapists if you need couples or for marriage and family therapy, it's also available to individuals worldwide. Better help is a monthly subscription so you're not paying per session and financial aid is available for those who qualify. So visit better help.com/bright side of life that's better help.com/bright side of life, join over 500,000 people taking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional and for your first time month you're going to receive 10% off by being a listener of the bright side of life. So let them know that I sent you by using the link better help.com forward slash Bright Side of Life, the link will also be in the description section of this episode.

Steve Barton:

Well, the game of kittens very simple. I can tell you they're the tenants we call him. Yes, let's

Melissa Bright:

do it. Right.

Steve Barton:

The first tenet is we can do it together. Okay. Okay.

Melissa Bright:

I am 10. I am 10.

Steve Barton:

And 10 is 10 is the highest state of awareness you can have. Okay, you're connected scores. Okay. Your, your all your thoughts have shut off? You were just in that state of flow. So I am. I'm always right. With the awareness I have.

Melissa Bright:

I am always right, with the awareness that I have.

Steve Barton:

Which doesn't mean that Joe was right. But with the awareness you have your right, right. Yeah. They would want to is, I do the best I can with the awareness I have.

Melissa Bright:

I do the best I can with the awareness that I have.

Steve Barton:

It really lets you off the hook of guilt and shame. You're doing your best, okay. It just is. Yeah. And then we go into flow, which is I am enough.

Melissa Bright:

I am enough. I do enough. I do enough. And I have enough. And I have enough.

Steve Barton:

And you and I talked about this enough is a universal quantity. And people cannot be at one or peace, inner peace. Because they don't they feel they don't have enough or they have too much. Yeah. Okay. So the Universal Time, which is an illusion, time, it's it's manmade, we use the solar system for time. in Greenwich. Yeah. So we use the planets to tell time, which works. But the Universal Time Is Now it's the present moment. And there's no other time other than that, and there's never been another time other than now. So people oftentimes, playing the game often played are projecting future, or dwelling on the past. The future will cause you anxiety. And dwelling on the past. You are in the guilt and shame mode.

Melissa Bright:

And depression. Well,

Steve Barton:

whenever you have guilt and shame you get off 10. And if someone's so if you're grieving your mother on a scale, if you think about your mother on a scale of one to 10 How do you feel?

Melissa Bright:

I'm wonder how to if I think about her, how do I feel

Steve Barton:

better and you're grieving? How do you feel on a scale of one to 10 and 10? is happy really blissful until wonderful. Yeah,

Melissa Bright:

I would say like a six. It's been 10 years. So it's been a while.

Steve Barton:

But you said to six, and in between six and 10. There's a void. Okay. In America, Maya coterie, Marianne Williamson called the breach. I call it a gap. Okay, there's a gap that's holding you back from being 10. And at some level, it's even depression. It seems it can be in when you get anxiety. You have depression? Yeah. So it's a lot of work to have that pressure. It's almost like you're taking a coffee, you know, the coffee grinder thing? coffee press? Yes. You're pressing it down. You're depressing. You're depressing. And you're disappointing yourself.

Unknown:

Okay. So

Steve Barton:

to get through that gap, you have to realize that there's guilt and shame there at some level. And so that doesn't make any sense. I don't know. All about that. Yes, you do. But you got to figure out what it is. Yeah, I should have said that to her. I wish I'd said that to her. I wish I'd done this. I wish I was better at the theater. All these things that go in your mind that are insane. Because you can't do it. Right. Unless you do it right now. And I promise you she she's probably listening. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you can do it now. And so I say that to your viewers or listeners that it's never too late to say what you have in mind. Yeah, because they're listening.

Melissa Bright:

Right? I love that. Thank you. That's amazing. I have I can get my stupid throat under control. There's something very common Feeling like, of this game of 10? Like there's only now that's all there is is right now. Is only enough? Yes. Like, it sounds so easy but we, our ego. Like to complicate things.

Steve Barton:

Our ego is mind made self as that guy totally calls it. We made it. Okay. Yeah. There's no such thing as a healthy ego. No, no. And it hates in 30 years ago when I was after had Mad Money experience, I was just doing my search to figure out what is going on. And I was in the wedding flower business. I was at a wedding show next to me were a couple of husband and wife therapists. I think this is great that they're at a wedding show a booth, and they're going to have couples be in therapy before they get married.

Melissa Bright:

That's genius, isn't it? Yes.

Steve Barton:

Because guess what? You're gonna bet play out all your crap on your new spouse.

Melissa Bright:

Yeah, yeah. Getting divorced. Yeah.

Steve Barton:

So I said to him, I said, and I was doing A Course in Miracles, which they talk about ego and spirit, while in fear, egos based in fear. So you're always playing the, if you're playing the game often played, you're in fear based programming. So I went up to the husband and said, describe the ego to me. He was a psychologist describe the ego to me in one sentence, because I think everything can be honed down and I like hold things down. Because it's funny you asked me he said, I did my doctorate on the ego. And I can put it in one sentence. It says it hates you.

Melissa Bright:

Ah, okay.

Steve Barton:

It hates us. It's afraid of us. And the thing is, we made it. You made your ego. I made my ego. And it's done with freewill. freewill. And in the book, I'd say we have freewill. But it comes at a cost. Right? So it's really not free at all. You will pay the price when you choose freewill.

Melissa Bright:

Yeah. Explain. Because I love that you said this because you do talk about love. And I'll correct me if I'm wrong. But you say like everything is love, like always, always practice. You say something about love? What do you say about it?

Steve Barton:

My feeling is that people have all these delusions about what love is. Right? The game will often play I love you if I'll be happy when conditions okay. Yeah, that was unconditional. And you've heard unconditional love. And that's what it is, of course in miracles I hope I can say this right? It's in the beginning of it says that which is real cannot be threatened. That which is unreal does not exist. Herein lies the peace of God. Yeah, it's totally stuck. It's one of his lectures with that, quote, it's a premise of the whole Course of Miracles. Right? He says, If anyone understands this phrase that I just said, you can leave because it's that it's diametrically opposite of what we think. Right? And what we think love is is not what love is at all. Love is unconditional acceptance of what is oh

Melissa Bright:

that shits hard.

Steve Barton:

It's harder not to do it. So what is hard is not doing it. What is easy is doing it.

Melissa Bright:

I feel like I find so much relief in this like, just think of an argument that you could have with your spouse like oh my god, they left the damn towel on the ground again. Well, you could bitch at them. You could yell at them or you could show up and show compassion and be like yeah, but I just left my whatever my crafts all over the dining room table. So who am I to judge? Why don't you just come from a place of love and either pick it up for them or just remind them but don't be so mean?

Steve Barton:

Disrespectful? Yeah, so respect and we have so many words words that we use in our language for love. Yeah, respect is love. Yeah. Truth is love. Honesty is love. Compassion, with love with compassion. And And oftentimes, if someone leaves something on the floor, what they're saying to you without saying it. I don't respect you. I don't love you. Okay. Yeah. And what you're doing is say, pick up your damn shit. Right? You know, and when you do this, I feel disrespected. Yeah. And I know you don't mean to do this. But that's my shit. And I'm just saying, I'm reacting to it. I'm going to work on it. We just pick up your shit.

Melissa Bright:

Right? That's totally what it is like, because that's how I feel. I don't. It's not about the towel. It's about now you're telling me like, oh, maybe Melissa will get it or like, and I that is a sign of disrespect to me.

Steve Barton:

Which disrespect is another word for being unloving? Yeah. So it's important to train people, it's important to train yourself and to be aware of what triggers you. Yeah. And to communicate that with your partner. And just say, I know you don't mean this, but if you do, please let me know. You're doing it to be disrespect. Right, right. 99.9% of time people don't aware that they're being disrespectful towards another unless you tell them that this is triggers me. Yeah. And it's work I'm working on and still pick up your shit.

Melissa Bright:

Yeah. Yes, exactly. That's simple. Yeah. Wow. Okay, so we've, we've talked about a lot of stuff. One thing we haven't talked about, we've talked about awareness, I really want to talk about abundant mindset, which is having enough being enough we are enough. I really, really struggle with this a lot. Not in materialistic things is like I've always struggled with having enough money. Like, I'm always scared, like, oh my god, as soon as I make that it's gonna be gone. And so I'm always in this scarcity, energy. And I'm really trying to shed that because that is just what I'm going to attract. Exactly. So how can people get into this abundant mindset, so they can get abundance coming to them?

Steve Barton:

Stop saying those type of prayers. So if you look at the words that we say, you know, I can't spend this and it's, it's the other shoes gonna drop. I'm gonna be with lack, you're actually saying a prayer. Okay? Okay. So if you look at the words and the thoughts that we have, as prayers, what you think about you bring about shame. About so really catching it. Okay. And letting it go. Okay, so in Miracle mind, you're letting go is forgiveness to Yes, about forgiveness? And how do people forgive, I can't forgive this, I can't forgive that. You know, I remember being poor. So you're holding on to the past, and then hold on to the past, you have guilt and shame around money. Money, not enough money. You know, you feel bad for the poor you feel. You hate the billionaires write up hate on them. And so it's really about enough. And so we have to let go of those thought patterns that we've created, or that were spoon fed to us by people that have taught us right to be frugal, too. You know, yeah, put, make sure you have enough money, put aside for a rainy day and all this retirement and so the key in one thing I learned in America mind coaching is God is in the mind is in our mind. God is in the mind of everyone. And we are an idea in the mind of God. So it's all about being an idea. And abundant mindset is an idea in our minds, that we always have enough. And then when we are always having enough, and we're in 10. Then we can start manifesting. The Law of Attraction kicks in the Law of Attraction kicks in at one level one where you're done, street and accountable. bucks. And someone comes by and kicks you with a steel head, steel toed boots, you know? Yes, that comes in every single level.

Melissa Bright:

Yes. And that is so important to know, for people when they talk about things that no matter what level that you're practicing, and in terms of being at a one saying, Oh My God, My life sucks. I'm so poor. Everything bad happens to me. That is what is going to happen.

Steve Barton:

Because you're manifesting, you're praying for it. Yeah, you're afraid of it. You attract that fear energy. You know, I used to say, life's a shit sandwich and everyday is another bite. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh, a lot of people out there who think that? Right? Okay. It comes about? Yeah. And I support them.

Melissa Bright:

Okay, so here's my question. I know not to talk about it in terms of money. I don't want to say out loud, like, oh, I can't spend this because I only have such and such money. But what if there is still something inside me? That is talking about it? Same thing? Yeah. So how do I not I know that that's gonna happen. So how do I let go of my like money? Let's quote unquote, money, issues of scarcity.

Steve Barton:

Good question. You, you become aware of your feeling around it. Okay. So the first step is to bring your thoughts feelings and emotions around, we're going to tell you what, money around money for you. Okay, you won't talk about it. But you don't have to because you're feeling exactly. I think the feeling is more powerful than the thought even I don't know they're probably all the same. Yeah, but you have that feeling. The only way to change that feeling of thought and emotion around it is to bring it to awareness. Oh, okay. So you have this feeling say Oh, I have this feeling that scarcity of not enough money. What if, what if? What if and so you have to bring it into awareness. And you have to let it go. And one of the techniques I learned through miracle mindset coaching is you create this alter in your mind, okay? Magnificent or simple, but it has to be a alter that you place that's connected to source,

Melissa Bright:

okay? Like an alter ego.

Steve Barton:

No, no. What an alter ego No, another friend that hates you.

Melissa Bright:

Yeah. Okay. So what is alter what is that is a

Steve Barton:

you go to a church, you go to a synagogue, you go to a mall, okay? Okay, please, that you? Yes, the altar of God. Okay. Okay, okay. I don't mean it in from a religious standpoint. Okay. That was awareness. God is 10 that is Danby. God is that is God right? That I don't mean it as a in a secular way. Yeah, you create this altar. Mo and it can be golden it can be pain it can be but it is an offer that you place things on. Okay? Because as Einstein says, You can't solve a problem at the level it was created.

Melissa Bright:

Oh shit.

Steve Barton:

So whenever we have a problem it was created in the past it's coming to the present and you can't solve it at the level that we're at being in problem mindset. So you have this thing let's talk about yours. This fear around money insecurity around money. So should I feel this insecurity or money I'm feeling it? I'm feeling butterflies and feeling like I can't afford this and blah blah But what if what if I don't get this money coming back and bla bla bla if the story going on. Take that story. You're aware of it? Is that I'm letting the story and putting it on the altar. So it can be altered

Melissa Bright:

make sense?

Steve Barton:

That simple. Okay, you just have to keep going to the altar.

Melissa Bright:

Yeah. Where are you going? Oh, just the altar again.

Steve Barton:

Gonna be altered and you let it go. Because your mind we what do we use 5% of our mind of our brain. So let the 95% that is just waiting to be asked to take care of stuff. Let it do it for you. You can't do it. Okay, little ego 5% Ego work, mindset, you can't do it. what it's gonna do is hold on to it. Right? Until you let it truly let it go. Yeah. And that's what forgiveness is letting go of the thought about. Blank, you fill in the blank. Always let go of your thoughts. Thoughts are great. Thoughts are real, if their loving thoughts are not real, if they're not. In tip definitely take the ones that are not loving to the altar. Yeah, we can be in alignment. It is so simple. It's just not often times easy. Right? Due to spiritual exercise. Yep.

Melissa Bright:

What does your like? What does a day look like? For you? Are you always practicing at a 10? Do Is it called practicing? Are you always being at a 10? Are you always at a 10?

Steve Barton:

I'm always at a 10 and oftentimes don't realize it.

Melissa Bright:

Really? And what do you mean by that?

Steve Barton:

Well, you cannot not be 10 It's impossible. It'd be like saying, yeah, sometimes God's with me sometimes he's not. Okay. Okay. So, that is a mind that is a that is an appointed were appointed 10. Okay, from at birth and before, so we're always appointed 10 until we become disappointed by ourselves or by another person. Okay, and then we hold on to that grudge and grievance. Okay. And grievance complaints and grievances keep us awake off 10 Yes. So be aware. Anytime you have a complaint can be a tiny one it can be you put it bring that complaint to the altar. Yeah, it's gonna be a bad day. Look at the weather. It's gonna be a bad day.

Melissa Bright:

Your Fox tornados coming?

Steve Barton:

It is for you. It's just a day. Yeah. So I'm always 10 Do I oftentimes? After driving back from Florida? I didn't feel 10 in my body. Yeah. Yeah. You know, from Maine to Florida. I felt pigs and I took three aspirin today because I just was like, a. Right. So, but I always known 10

Melissa Bright:

Oh, yeah. That's, that's huge to remember.

Steve Barton:

You have to get is called remembering. Okay, that's perfect. You said remember, because we always

Melissa Bright:

hold? Yeah.

Steve Barton:

And sometimes we forget that through a free will. And we have to read and a piece of us goes from 10 to six. Right. And we're not membered we're dismembered? Yeah, you have to remember.

Melissa Bright:

I love that. Okay, so one of my questions now is, if we know that we're not operating at a 10 right now, like something happened, your boyfriend pissed you off? Somebody cut you off. How do we? How do we? Because I'll judge myself for that. Melissa, you're not at a 10 and then I'll start like using that against myself and feeling bad for not being at a 10. So what do I do there? What do I do there? What do we do there?

Steve Barton:

So we're either saying or insane and at 10 was saying, okay, okay. Just admit, I'm insane. And you can't kick yourself while you're insane. Okay, yeah, yeah. It's like, right, you're gonna do something crazy. People who are insane or mad. Okay, that's the word mad is for reason. Right? When you're mad, you're insane. And you're not going to do anyone any good yourself or anyone else by trying to fix things while you're insane. Yeah, yep. He is to give yourself a timeout. And, and basically go into those. What am my thoughts, feelings and emotions. Okay. And don't judge them. Just be aware of them. Yeah, yeah. The problem is not what you think it is. Okay. Yep. When your boyfriend pisses you off, it's not what you think it is. It brought he brought up something from the past that triggered you into a state of disappointment, right? unloving, unloved, unappreciated. And it's P just is your Kesia gift. Yeah, I didn't know that was there. It's brought up I'm gonna feel it. I'm going to allow it. I'm going to recognize it. Put it on the altar. Yeah. That's for you to let go of, because it's going to keep coming up and coming up and coming up until you get it.

Melissa Bright:

Right. Yeah, it's so huge that you say that I have came leaps and bounds in terms of being triggered by something that my boyfriend does. And now, for a long time, I'm like, Why am I feeling this in 99.999% of the time, it has nothing to do with him and his action. And it's something to do with my past with my dad, how I was raised or something. And now, I can come from a place of mostly you don't need to react that way. Because this is because you're scared of fear, or you're fearful disappointment, judgment. And it's very, it's so good to know that to know, like, Why did I just fly off the handle? Oh, that makes sense. Okay. And it helps. He is now aware of it. He knows that half of my reactions are because of my past also, and he's like, This doesn't have anything to do with me. She'll just do our thing. I'm so happy that I'm aware of that now. Awareness is so, so powerful.

Steve Barton:

Let go of the things that you don't like and keep the things you do. Yes. You know, if it's not loving, it's not real. Yep. And you always the universe works with you in for you, not against you. And if you feel as though it's working against you, life is working against you, then you are saying that prayer, please work against me. Okay. Yeah, it will work with you. You have to be this is key to we used our will our freewill to get off 10 We have to be willing to have the awareness come back to us. Yes, it's tapping in. Usually, very Williamson said three days. Three days was the resurrection Christ. Three days, he rose to oh, here I am.

Melissa Bright:

I'm back. Right.

Steve Barton:

It can take it can take time. But time is not. In the level of 10. Time is Now what will happen when it's enough. And you've changed when you've had enough? A lot of times people only change when they've had enough. And they're usually like, I'm, I'm, I'm done. I've had enough. And that's usually the only time that you hear enough used properly. Yeah. When you really learn that you can't do it by yourself on your own. When you're on your own, you're separate. And we aren't separate. We're one mind with six, 7 billion people with one mind. Okay. It's mind blowing,

Melissa Bright:

people are gonna not grasp.

Steve Barton:

If you look at the universe, we're we're less than a pinprick. Right? Yeah. So it's the earth is you right? So it's, it is we have this our ego. Pastor really wants to control what we think are life in our planet in our solar system. And it wants to think that it is God, right. It's not right. But we are and we're part of it. And that's what we were one mind. Okay, we're one mind joined. Yeah. And we have all the stuff in on the news, friends, family, who will say things that are contrary to that.

Melissa Bright:

Mm hmm. That's very true. We have covered a lot. What have we missed? Is there anything else that you want to make sure that you talk about? Besides besides your coaching stuff, we'll get there but in terms of being at a 10, or awareness or your book, is there anything else that you want to add?

Steve Barton:

We didn't talk about the game often played which is this the opposite of the game of 10? Yeah. Which is I'm not 10 When play the game. Yep.

Melissa Bright:

Oh, no, I don't want to but we will for just

Steve Barton:

there's a contrast. Yeah, and laughable. You know? What a lot of a lot of times when I do coaching, they'll say the biggest thing I'm stuck. I don't know what's gonna happen. Okay. Yeah, these people are just always I know what's gonna happen. I was going to happen, my family and my work, blah, blah, blah, right. And so, this always gets a laugh. I said, When did you ever know what's gonna happen? No, never Let's laugh. Okay, thank you. Right, right. Nobody ever knows what's gonna happen. No. So I think the game often played is the game often played. And I think it's important that we talk covered, you have to be aware that you're playing the game often played, whether it's an ache in pit pit ache or pain of thought against somebody a grievance against the weather. You can't fix it. And you can't change it. You have to accept. Yeah. So I think we covered a lot.

Melissa Bright:

Yeah, we have. And it's been so super helpful to me. Because I am trying to really, really practice awareness. I mean, I have personally and I don't know, if you've seen on my Facebook, like, there has been some crazy shit that I have manifested in the past, to where it's almost April for months. I believed wholeheartedly, and in December that I was going to manifest somehow $5 $5,000 I at that time, had no job. Nothing besides doing a little bit of like helping people with their podcast. But it would be I would get that I would get some people reaching out to me about podcasting. Instacart there was a couple other ways of just, it randomly happens. And we are always in a state of we have this one thing, the only thing in my life that could bring me money is this job like that's it. That's what I'm never gonna have enough money. I only make $10 an hour. And the universe is so powerful and literally anything can happen. You have no idea what could happen to you could be richest shit or have an extra. And it's crazy. It is crazy. I you are in the same group as me in the be on TV boot camp. And I wrote on my paper that I was going to win that day. And I won that day. I wrote in my gratitude journal that I was going to win the $500 and I was the one that won that $500 He deserved it. I couldn't freakin believe it. Well, I did. I had to believe it to make it happen. But it's like now you now I just got to keep staying there.

Steve Barton:

Right? And the good points. And I think one thing we didn't talk about words we use in the book I talked about words matter. And I heard you say belief. And I say try. Yeah. Okay. And those are, those are non words that keep you stuck. So the main words that I listen to when I'm coaching is the lack of words. shoulda, woulda coulda. Yeah, what could need, I need, I want, okay, that means you don't have so you have to be in that now. Enough moment. And words are prayers. Sentences are prayers. They give you everything you want. So words feelings, and emotions are prayers to giving you whatever you want, or are asking for. So there's the lack category, which is needed. I need this. I want that. Okay. Yeah. There's not enough. Okay. I'm not enough. I don't do enough. And then you have entitlement words that I deserve. This. Should have said that to me again. Yeah. To be loved. Why do they treat me like that? So entitlement is another. Yeah, game often played. And this is what's I forget the other one,

Melissa Bright:

or I don't deserve this. I didn't deserve this. Why did they do that? To me? That coming from a place of lack of self worth, I or I don't deserve good. I don't deserve that. Like that's meant for somebody else. Bring out a watch that yoke. Yeah.

Steve Barton:

Shouldn't have got that. Yep. So it's really important to pay attention to the words we use and changing. Belief is you have to separate. I mean, I tell people about you know, you don't believe in stuff. I said, Well, I go outdoors. Do I believe this air out there? I just kind of know. Or if I ever go into the lake or the ocean? Pretty sure it's wet. Do I believe? Do you believe the oceans wet? Okay, the lake is wet. Right? You just know. And so I figured out belief you have to you have to think so whenever you think you're in freewill. So you have to separate from source to think. And you got aware that you're thinking you say that one more you have to be aware that you're thinking in your in freewill mode. And be careful because can go into freefall. Okay. Yeah. 10 to one. So the key is to be aware and be aware of your thoughts. Or your thoughts will take over you and you become your thoughts. Yes. Become your thoughts you become your feelings, you'll become your emotions and you are not any of those three.

Melissa Bright:

Okay, we got to go back to the belief one. We can't believe things. Like, how can I make if I say, I believe that I'm going to be one of the top podcasters in mental health.

Steve Barton:

Whoo. Okay, let me put it this way. Would you rather believe it or no, it?

Melissa Bright:

Oh, no, it for sure. Okay,

Steve Barton:

you answered your own question. Okay. You don't believe it? Does Oprah Winfrey believe that she's a great human being. knows that shift when she wakes up in the morning? Just knows what am I going to? What miracles am I going to do today?

Melissa Bright:

Okay. So that's where manifestation is going to happen is you just know it.

Steve Barton:

Know it with a capital K? Okay, no. Okay. I'm doing the channeling I know it. I don't think it I don't believe I believe your husband's here with his brother is here. didn't believe it, you know it. And go through this. In a mindset. It's knowing. Okay, and you're doing the best you can with the awareness. Your head, you know, could be us. Yeah. Yeah. And if your intent, they're gonna say, No, this is not good. Well, this is the information I have. It may not be right. So you just you move to a quicker, okay.

Melissa Bright:

Yeah. And that's huge for people to know. That's where I'm really trying to practice a compassion for people. Because we always think that Steve should know what I want, or Steve should know, because that's how I feel. And Steve is only operating I what his level of what he knows about whatever, certain subject or whatever, so we can't be met. Like we have to meet people where they are. And I have a really hard time with that. I always explain why does this person that think like me, why are they? Especially my boyfriend, I just expect him to be thinking everything I'm thinking at all times. And I'm like, No, that's not the way this works. Exactly. So to remember,

Steve Barton:

so because he's doing the best he can with the way that he has. Yep. So what that does is it lets them off the hook from being guilty. You should know that and you were that he shouldn't because that's you're just throwing on your guilt or the him. And then he's gonna come back at you typically with guilt. Mm hmm. You shouldn't say that to me and blah, blah, blah. So you need to do a shoot fast, you know? Yeah. Getting on each other. And it when you when you have the they're doing the best they can with the awareness they have. It opens up communication. Yes. You just said this. Can you explain?

Melissa Bright:

Yeah. Okay. Yep.

Steve Barton:

There's a lot more than we can talk about to talk for hours. Yeah. Because you go into the man woman mentality too. And we think differently. As much as women think they can be men and men can be women, or vice versa, whatever. We. This is a good one, which I learned from Marianne Williamson, she heard from her therapist told her and it made sense, men want to be asked what they think about something. Okay, women want to be asked what they feel about something. Yes. And that huge. Yep. So if a man tells you his feelings all the time, if you want to kill him, okay. You just want to flick in Campbell. Wouldn't you be a man? Yeah, yeah. And a woman who is so linear in thoughts when a woman a man will think well, you know, you think too much you're thinking about it. So it's, it's, it's got to flow. Okay, okay. The energy has to flow. If you got one negative and someone being the man, well, actually, one is going to be the man one's gonna be the woman to have this energy to flow. It's masculine energy, feminine energy, right? A woman it's just energy. Sure. So it's important to have the balance that you want in a relationship. So we talked about relationships. So you have to have that balance. So this flow, okay, okay. And you can see some, some male, female, some female, female, male male, that somebody is going to play the masking room, some We're gonna play the femoral Well, the relationships. It cancels each other out. Yeah. That's that was huge to learn that.

Melissa Bright:

Yeah. That's very interesting. Dan.

Steve Barton:

So what's his name?

Melissa Bright:

What's my what?

Steve Barton:

My friend's name? Brandon. Brandon. So ask him what he thinks about things. Okay. What do you think about this?

Melissa Bright:

Does that make them like feel good? Okay.

Steve Barton:

makes him feel like the man. Okay. Okay. And then tell him ask me how I feel about things. Because I feel like the woman. Okay. Okay, if that's what you want.

Melissa Bright:

I love it. Because every

Steve Barton:

intake practice, like, you're always tense as long as you know that, then, but some, oftentimes you don't feel it. Right. So the key is to feel it. Yes. Think it feel it? No, it, be it? And then then it just happens automatically that you feel great.

Melissa Bright:

I love it. I love it. I've taken down so many notes. Okay, so for people that want to read your book, where can they find your book?

Steve Barton:

You can get it for free. If you go to the game of 10 with a one zero.com. Okay, you will get some trickle emails from me. Because there's a cost. Of course, yes, for free, nothing is free, nothing in life is free, no, and especially our free will. So the game of 10 with one zero.com. And you can download the book for free. Or you can get a paperback at Amazon books, and do the game of the Father, the Son in the moment.

Melissa Bright:

Perfect. And I will also link that in the show notes. I'll actually get that from you, Steve, the other one if they want to do the free download. So and I'll have that in the show notes. And then if somebody would like to be coached by you, how can they connect with you?

Steve Barton:

Well, in those emails that you get, if you download the book, you'll have a link to to do a sketch, do a session. Actually, I would interview you for half hour, see if I'm right for you and see if you're right for me. And that is at no charge. And also, if you do read the book, you can go to readers favorite.com. And I would appreciate it if you left a review. That's readers favorite readers favorite calm. And if you buy it, you can leave a review on Amazon. And that's how was helpful.

Melissa Bright:

Yes. Always helpful to get to get your book out there more to people. Awesome. All right, Steve, you know, the question I have for you. What? What is my question?

Steve Barton:

It is what is Steve? What is the bright side of life? He mean to you? Yes. You answer it. The Bright Side of Life is 10

Melissa Bright:

Oh my gosh, I love it. It's perfect. Mm hmm. That's perfect. I think that's the shortest answer I've ever had.

Steve Barton:

It says so much, isn't it? Yep, it does. Well, thank

Melissa Bright:

you so, so much for coming on here to share all of your knowledge. This has been wonderful.

Steve Barton:

It's been a pleasure. And as usual, fun, easy to do such a great job with you. You feel so comfortable and and it was great. And I appreciate it. And I hope your audience got what they wanted.

Melissa Bright:

I'm sure they did. Awesome. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, everyone for listening to this week's episode of The Bright Side of Life. So did we just totally talk gibberish to you guys. I really, really hope not. I hope that this episode was easier to understand. I know that me learning how to really get in tune with the present moment. And being here now. And being aware is something that I really, really, really am trying to practice for so many things to help with anxiety and not worrying about the future, to appreciate the small moments. And that's really one of the biggest things that you know, I know Steve is wanting to help people with is coming from an abundant mindset and not coming from a scarcity mindset. So if you guys want to learn more about this and about Steve Barton's game of 10s Please, please go and read the book. It's a wonderful book. And it just really really gets you to start thinking, a new approach to life. And you know, the the things that we did saying, I am enough there is always enough. That is very, very relieving for me. If I can always tell myself that, then I don't need to stress if I'm doing 10,000 things a day or if I'm doing just two things a day. So now it's just putting it in practice, right? So if you would like to connect with Steve Barton, his information is also in the show notes and as you guys know, you can always go to The Bright Side of Life podcast.com to Steve's individual episode, and it will have all of his information there as well. And guys, as always, if you know anyone that may need to hear Steve's story and his knowledge, please please share this episode because you never know if this is the one that puts hope back in their heart.

Steve Barton Profile Photo

Steve Barton

Stephen Barton is a native to Maine. A resident of Westbrook and has a 19-year-old son Spencer and his partner Liz.
Born on Labor Day September 2, 1956. Steve’s schooling was through the Westbrook school system through high school.
After receiving his BA in Business Management from The University of Southern Maine, Steve went into the family flower business Barton’s Flowers of Westbrook. In 1979 at the age 22, his father had a major stroke and Steve accepted the position to manage the family business.
In 1985 he and his father purchased Harmon ‘s Flowers of Portland. Merging the two companies to what is now Harmon Floral Company in November 2007 is father and he sold the company.
Steve acquired his financial advisors’ licenses 3 years after. Series 7 series 66 and the Maine State Insurance license. It didn’t take long before he realized that this was not his passion.
Still with a love of business and a strong desire to help people personally and in business. He began coaching individuals and business owners based on his business background. His passion and knowledge of how people behave and how the mind works. He helps individuals and teams to connect with their innate awareness. He calls this a commonsense approach to what is not all that common.
In May 2015 Steve graduated the 8 months intensive coaching program from the Gestalt International Study Center in Wellfleet, MA, giving him a foundation in the Gestalt model and the Gestalt Core Concepts and Behaviors to work from.
In September 2021 Steve graduated from Miracle Minded Coaching with Marianne Williamson and the team at Difference Publication, giving him and even an even wider range of coaching skills to work with his clients.
Currently Steve is the owner of Steve Barton Coaching, which provides coaching for individual and groups. Steve has registered with the United States Trademark Office, a process that he uses in his coaching practice. It is in the format of a psychological game and mindset practice. It is called The Game of Ten®. He is currently creating programs to bring to organizations and businesses to create awareness. His hope is to train other to teach this process to the psychological, coaching and wellness community. His website is www.overthelookingglass.com.