Carrie R: 0:00

Tapping is like your daily emotional hygiene. You don't have to wait till there's something big. You can you can, you know tap every day as a as a daily practice.

Melissa Bright: 0:15

Welcome to The Bright Side of Life, a podcast where people share their personal stories of struggles, pain and grief. But through all of that, they are still able to find the joys in life. Hello, everyone, and welcome to this week's episode of the bright side of life. I am your host, Melissa bright. And just a quick reminder, before we get started to be sure to hit the subscribe or follow button if you haven't already. And if you'd like to support the podcast you can do so at the bright side of life podcast.com/donate, I am an independent podcaster and do all of this on my own. And I spend a lot of time and creativity and resources and trying to create valuable content for you. So if you'd like to show your support, it would be greatly appreciated. And today, I am so very excited because I have a friend of mine, Carrie Rasnov, who is my guest today. And she we have known each other actually for a while. And she had told me about EFT tapping a couple of years ago. And if you guys are asking what the heck is EFT tapping, don't worry, we're going to get into all of that. But she had reached out to me about two years ago because she knew that I struggled with anxiety. And she said you know I would love to show you you know what this is it can really be beneficial. And at that point, I did not take her up on that offer. Well, lo and behold, here we are. And she actually did an EFT tapping session on me about three, three weeks ago, three to four weeks ago. And it was amazing. And I'm so glad that we finally crossed paths again to do this. So today we are going to be talking all about her story and why she got into this and how powerful it is. And it's really to help with anxiety and healing. Carrie obviously knows way much more about it than I do. So she will be telling you about that. But Carrie, welcome to The Bright Side of Life. How are you doing today?

Carrie R: 2:42

I am fabulous. Thank you so much for inviting me. This is really an honor. And I love how curious you are you asked the best questions. So this is gonna be fun.

Melissa Bright: 2:52

Thank you. Thank you. Yes, I, when I first started my podcast, you know, I was very like only asked the questions that are on on the computer screen. And then, but in my head, a question would come up and I would almost be too scared to ask it. And my boyfriend said, Melissa, those are the questions that everybody else are probably wanting to know also, you know. So ask them. And so I get I'm doing a lot better with with doing that. And just being curious and making sure you know, I don't want to overstep anybody's boundaries. But I'll still ask the hard questions sometimes. Well, you

Carrie R: 3:29

can always ask them, and we can always decline to answer very easily doesn't hurt anything.

Melissa Bright: 3:35

Yep, exactly, exactly. So why don't we kind of get into a little bit of your story, and how you came to know, tapping? Because I know, we all have a story. And I don't I know some of it, but not all of it. So why don't you share with me in the listeners a little bit about your story.

Carrie R: 4:01

Okay, thank you. I absolutely had my initial reaction to tapping was very much like yours. It's like, oh, that sounds kind of woowoo that can it absolutely can't work. It looks ridiculous. I mean, I was not even I heard about it from two different practitioners at two different parts of the country. And I just really rejected it. And then it came around again. Through my business, I was put in contact with somebody. And they said, Oh, he's like, into energy. And, and I wasn't really put off by that by that time. But so anyway, we start talking and he says, Well, I'll look at your website, if you'll look at mine. And so I get on his website, and I went, Oh, no, it's that stuff again. But, but then I thought, Okay, I want to be open minded this time. And so I really looked into it and he you know, he was saying it's a one powerful way to reduce anxiety and to address limiting beliefs that are not serving us. How many of those? I mean, we all have those, don't we? Yeah, yeah. And if you don't, you're probably just not aware of them yet. And, and he said that, that emotions become trapped, you know, we think about emotions being in our head, but we store them in our energetic system in our entire body. And when they are emotions that don't serve us, they're kind of like, like a little energy disruption. And so when we have a response, and we think, Why in the world, did I go off like that? Have? I mean, I don't know if you've ever done that. But

Melissa Bright: 5:42

it's like, yes, yes.

Carrie R: 5:46

And it's like we've been triggered. And it's because we have an associated memory. And we might not even be all that aware of it. And it just triggers that same response. And the older we get, the more things like that happen, because this place is not heaven. Right? Yeah. And we get more and more layers of this. And, and so we can be triggered, we can have beliefs. And we might think, where did that come from? And this is just a wonderful strategy, a wonderful tool to get to the bottom of that and neutralize that. So you don't have to have it moving forward. Cool, huh?

Melissa Bright: 6:24

Yeah. It's amazing. It is, it is so awesome. And Carrie and I did an EFT session. Like I said about three weeks ago. We're going to do a little one on here later in the episode, just to give you guys an idea of what does that even mean? What does it sound like? So we'll be doing that. But do you remember your first time your first session? And what what was it like when you first did it? Because like you said, Before, you thought it was a little woowoo. But then you started coming around, and you're like, okay, though, the worst thing that could happen is I can try it. And you know, like, it doesn't work. But so tell me, if you remember, like what your first session was like?

Carrie R: 7:17

I remember it vividly. Melissa, he, so this man's name is done mountain. He's an emotional freedom coach, I got to know him very well. And that he could tell I was skeptical, but really intrigued by all these testimonials, and there's research. I thought, okay, so he said, Let's have one session. And if you never want to do it again, like you said, Melissa, no harm done. Yeah, well, that was intense. Because he was asking me about my life. And about my family, my three daughters. And my daughter who passed away, she was 14 and a half. She's my firstborn daughter. And she, he, he asked around about the circumstances around her death. And so I explained it, and he said, so, you know, that you could not have been the one to diagnose, you know, the blood clot that that killed her. And I said, I know that. And he said, Then why are you sobbing? And the fact is, I had spent a good amount of time with a therapist and taught my husband and, and both of us talking through these things. You can work through something intellectually. Like, that's ridiculous. I wasn't her doctor. You know, I wasn't. Yeah, that's a ridiculous expectation. But you still have those emotions trapped. And so I had just horrible guilt. And additional pain, besides the grief, you know, is another aspect of the grief. And in 20 minutes, we resolve that.

Melissa Bright: 9:04

Wow. Wow. Did okay. So I really like what you said about the intellectual knowledge. But, and sometimes if, if any listeners that might not have dealt with grief or loss or healing journey or anything, some of the stuff you might not have experienced yet, and we're like, what does she you know, what are what are they talking about? But like Carrie said before, so much of these emotions are trapped in our body, like these limiting beliefs and stuff like that. And for Carrie, losing her daughter, there are probably tons of emotions that that were trapped. Were you before that session? aware of some of those like that you were holding on to or was it something Have you thought about a lot? Like, I know that I feel guilty? I know that I feel sad. But I don't know how to work through them wherever you are at before that session.

Carrie R: 10:11

Well, as I was describing it to him, you know that of course, of course, I don't feel responsible to that. Well, I don't think I really thought I had worked through that. And then all these emotions came tumbling out. And it just, I was amazed to be I have a talk therapy bias, I think that it can be really, really helpful. And what I have found is that, that EFT, tapping in my practice, I call the prayerful tapping is fast, and is a wonderful adjunct to talk therapy, and any other strategy that you might have to be more well and happy and joyful.

Melissa Bright: 10:54

Yeah. And, and that's something that I've noticed now also, you know, I do talk therapy. But I've also have done a couple other things with people on my podcast, I've done hypnotherapy, I've now done EFT tapping with you. It's so amazing to just try these different things to see. And for so long. I didn't realize that our emotions were trapped inside our body. You know, I guess there was some that I was aware of, but then others I weren't, like, I was aware that I was angry with my dad, as you very well know. I knew that I was holding on to some anger. But there's so many like different layers and stuff that I just want people you know, if they're sitting there reflecting of why do I behave like this, you know, what's going on? That is because stuff can be trapped in our body, we always say, go exercise, you'll feel better, you'll get some anger, some energy, something out. That's kind of the same idea here, we got to get the stuff out and moving in our body. So before we go any further. Can you just explain first of all, because we haven't even addressed this yet. What E F T stands for?

Carrie R: 12:20

Okay. Yes, it stands for Emotional Freedom Techniques. And why it's techniques is that it is actually dozens of techniques within the whole tool. And could I share a kind of a shortened version of how this was developed?

Melissa Bright: 12:36

Yes, please do.

Carrie R: 12:38

Okay. So decades ago, there was a psychologist who was working with a woman who had intractable fear of water. And he tried everything, you know, aversion therapy, and exposure therapy, I mean, just a cognitive, all kinds of things. And nothing was working. So he, he's, his name was Dr. Roger Callahan. And he went to study about the meridians. And, you know, like acupuncture points, which those that that's not just an Eastern medicine, it's been discovered by science here in the West, it's all been confirmed that it's true. And he's so he studied all these points and how they correspond to different places in the body. And there's a point under your eye on your cheekbone. And it corresponds to stomach and so sometimes you know how you'll feel an emotion and then you'll be sick to your stomach. Or maybe you'll get, you know, a stitch in your side, or you'll be short of breath or something like that. And so he so he learned he paid a lot of money, learned this in detail, and then went back and had this woman about, I don't know, 20 feet from a pool and swimming pool. And he's, he's just talking with her. And he said, Well, when you think about getting in that water, where do you feel that fear in your body, and she said, Oh, it makes me so sick to my stomach. And so he had her repeat after him and tap on the stomach point. And after not very much time at all, she went hmm. And she got up and gotten into the pool and was never afraid of water again. So that was a dramatic start. So he came up with an algorithm for when you feel this, you know, you tap here and you when you do this, you tap here. Well, I don't know about you, but I don't want to be meridian, you know, a point expert. Right. So here, Gary Craig. He learned all about this. And he said, Why don't we just create a bet basic recipe that covers all the points that you'll need. And he set up this basic recipe that I have even taught to a six year old. So it's not complicated.

Melissa Bright: 14:52

Oh my goodness, that is awesome. And that's an amazing story because just to know like how, how it came to be and Like I said, You are the very first person that ever introduced this to me. The more I talk to people like in the mental health space therapy and stuff, they're like, oh, yeah, and I'm like, man. And so that's always my goal is to introduce people, you know, sometimes, what works for one person might not work for the other. And so I'm here as a facilitator for people to know, hey, listen, here are this, this technique that can help you and can can really make, I was almost gonna say, drastic, and dramatic, all in one word, and it was not coming out, right? Just major changes, and in a very short amount of time. Okay, so that's how I understood it whenever I was reading about what it was, and like the acupuncture part, the points on your body? So I guess then whenever you tap on these points, and we're going to go over the points and everything. What is that supposed to be doing?

Carrie R: 16:10

Oh, that's a great question. What happens is, is your, these points are so soothing to your nervous system. And we're actually not avoiding talking about the problem. In fact, more specific we can be the more tuned in you remember, the more emotionally tuned into who you are, to that specific aspect of an issue, then the better it will go. And you're tuned into that, at the same time, your body is getting this very, very soothing message. And so your body has to make a decision. And your body will choose to be soothed your nervous system will choose to settle down so you don't have this fight or flight or freeze or appease response.

Melissa Bright: 16:55

Yeah. Which is amazing. And that's obviously like, what anxiety is, and I'm probably gonna butcher this, and I heard it from somebody else. I don't think it was you, but it might have been that you cannot feel anxiety and a different emotion at the same time. You either feel one or you feel the other. And I thought that was very reassuring for me. Because I'm like, Okay, well if I'm not feeling anxiety, then I'm feeling this it might have been Adam Lane Smith, my attachment, the attachment specialists, but that that's really reassuring to me and in for that to do that, you know, the tapping and to calm your nervous system down I feel like a lot of people might not know what self regulation is. So the sounds a lot like that's, that's basically what you're doing is you're regulating your body when you get angry at somebody you know, your kid for throwing a shoe or your husband for not picking up a plate, your regulated state, where it's normally at a normal state is now getting heightened. And you feel all this anger and stuff coming up, which means you are no longer in like this regulated state. So that's basically what this can do. Right is to get you back in this like

Carrie R: 18:32

I call it stupid brain and smart brain and that is a you know, gross simplification. really elaborate nervous system. You know, but I if you've ever thought about it, if you're enraged, are you making good decisions? Nope. No. And if you can't, and I have I've had friends call and say, I'm so enraged right now I need some help. Can you talk me through this, and they might be 10 out of 10 Rage like they have never felt that intensity rage before. And we'll we'll get them down to seven pretty quickly because it's a specific assault or offense or something, you know, he said this or whatever, and or that the driver cut me off and I had to pull over because I was so angry or whatever. And getting them even down to a seven a six. It can make a world of difference. And then of course we like to get it all the way down to 01 or two. Because then if it's if it's something ongoing, we know that it is resolved and it's not coming back. Unless it's a different aspect of the same

Melissa Bright: 19:45

issue. Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. So something else we obviously talked about was the limiting beliefs. And sometimes if, if you don't understand like, do I have limiting beliefs? I don't know what that might mean. So For me, a lot of my limiting beliefs were around how my father treated me when I was a little girl, he often talked to me and my brother, like, we were stupid, we didn't do anything good enough, we didn't do it in his way. So in turn, I had these limiting beliefs of I wasn't good enough, I could never accomplish something that well, or whatever it was, and I grew up, and that made me be a people pleaser, and a perfectionist. And so those are kind of limiting beliefs there, there can be tons and tons of limiting beliefs that you could have about yourself. But that's just one of my many examples that I have for myself.

Carrie R: 20:43

And I that that's a that's a great example, a lot of people can relate to having those messages when you're young. And they're just over and over and over. And you try to go back to the first time and specifically in tune into how how you felt at the time, and then that that really Garner's the best results. I do want to let people know that this isn't just for big life stuff. I love working with kids, because honestly, they don't have as many layers. So if you you're done with it, they can resolve it pretty quickly. I have worked with, with in one week, I had 211 year old girls on either side, you know, either coast. And one had test anxiety about science and one about social studies. I was happy. It wasn't math, that's a cliche. I mean, you know, whatever it is, right. And they so we got back to the first time, they felt really stupid in science, or, you know, they were embarrassed or whatever. And it was amazing. They could study more effectively, because they had confidence, they would retain it and perform well on the test. And it so that was fun. But sometimes it's disappointment. It's Oh, gosh, it can be anything. Last year, I did 38, free drop in tapping sessions on Zoom. And just didn't whoever wanted to join. I probably didn't get the word out that well. But we had attendance on all of those. And I watched as the emotions changed because at first it was abject terror. Yeah. And then it was getting it was. And then we know we had some people come on with grief, and then some people and the whole thing evolved until the last one I did the prevailing emotion was really annoyance. And they they're just like so over it. But it's um, you know, you were talking about anxiety. It is wonderful for anxiety, but something that global we really need to zero in on something more specific. Yeah, to have the best effect.

Melissa Bright: 23:02

Yeah, well, especially anxiety can be so so different for so many people. I was just talking to my last guest about this. My anxiety stems from losing my mom first and now my dad so my anxiety is all about am I going to lose another close person to me? Where somebody else's anxiety might be? I can't be in a crowd of more than 20 people. I just can't you know, so everybody's anxiety is different. That's why it is important to focus on very specific like, okay, anxiety, but do we know why it's happening? where it's coming from? All those things? I did want to go back to the children for a second. Was this something that the kids I guess it's something that their parents would want for them would want them to try? I'm assuming and did they ever look at you like, what is this? What what is this lady having me do? Did they ever feel weird or silly or anything? Or were they pretty open to it?

Carrie R: 24:09

The the kids I've worked with have been open to it. And I think that they're in most cases the parents are just so they're just getting ready to try anything. Or, or the kids are like, Oh, well, what's it gonna hurt? Or well, this lady sounds nice enough to feel safe with me fortunately. And but it's being used in classrooms, all around the world. The the the Tapping Solution video, there's a Tapping Solution movie. That's great. It shows some research done with veterans and that's gotten the word out. There's a conference there's a conference online every year. The organizers have done a wonderful job getting that out there lots and lots of research resources and I have them spelled out on my on my website so people can find them easily.

Melissa Bright: 25:00

Yeah, that's awesome. Did you ever find when you look back at everybody that you've helped doing these sessions, kind of like the experience that you had when you first did tapping, and you didn't realize that there was still maybe some stuff stuck, or some emotions trapped? Can you remember one of like the most profound changes, maybe, epiphanies that might have happened during a session that you have done? I don't know if I'm asking the question, right. But

Carrie R: 25:36

yes, countless. Many, many times it's people who have forgiven their parents, when they release the the anger and the disappointment, and why weren't you be? Why weren't you the parent that I needed? Why weren't you the parent that I wanted? What you should have been better? And of course, we can say, well, who says, whenever we should ourselves, we can say, you know, oh, I should have gone to law school. Well, why who says but with all the emotions and the women you're not you're not thinking just intellectually so I think the forgiveness and the realization oh my goodness, that parent was doing sorry about that. The that parent was doing the best they could. Or another one just one of mine and I did a podcast about it was a music humiliation, I'm I didn't sing for years after this happened. And then going through and tapping about even though I feel this humiliation, even though I'm so embarrassed, even though you know, I, you know, this is this is painful to happen when you're 1111 year old girl and this happens. Yucky, is that, right? As if it's not hard enough at that time, right? But, but real, but putting it in a different context, that it's just, it's just so freeing or people who realize, just because that didn't go well once doesn't mean that that's how it's going to go forevermore. And they can let go have that experience. And or understanding people letting go of you know, we we always give ourselves so much grace about our own intentions. We have the best intentions all the time. No, we

Melissa Bright: 27:41

Oh, yeah.

Carrie R: 27:43

And but then how we judge other people, is that they had bad intent intentions toward us. And when we can release that underlying emotion, then we oh, well, maybe it wasn't even about us at all. And we might never know what their intention was. Or they were having a bad day. And and if you can release it, then Hmm. Isn't that interesting? Well, that's what happened.

Melissa Bright: 28:09

Yeah. That is incredible. And that is something that's really helped my boyfriend and I a long time ago, he asked me that question that that exact question. I got mad at him for something. I'm sure it was something he was trying to give me advice, something to do with my daughter. And I always get easily defensive like with that. And he would always ask me, were my intentions, bad? Were they to hurt her? Or are they to watch out for her and care for her and keep her safe? You know, not to punish her not to be mean to her. And so we always go back sometimes, like if we get in arguments, what were both of our intentions? Was it to be mean? No, it wasn't. But that's maybe the way that we took it. So I just think that's interesting that that you say that?

Carrie R: 29:00

He's a he's a brilliant man, I think you should keep him.

Melissa Bright: 29:04

Yeah, yeah. Something else that is very interesting to me that I think about is how many people there are out in the world that have these limiting beliefs that they're stuck with, but maybe they've never even thought of them. Maybe they compartmentalize them and just don't deal with them anymore. They don't deal with them, but there's still something going on inside them that they don't realize those two are connected. You know, like, for me, the easiest one I could say is I didn't deal with my mom's death for 10 years. I put it up on a shelf and didn't deal with it. But then I had debilitating anxiety for 10 years. So this thing like when we do this tapping and you go back to these moments that could have changed your life like you said the humiliation around singing when you were 11 When you held on to that for how long? And wait too long? Yeah, and when you look at it, it's like, of course, we can say that that might have been a minute. But as 11 That's like, the worst thing that could happen as an 11 year old at that time. And then Yeah, hold on that for so long. Thank you to better health for being our sponsor, guys, I am going to tell you the truth. I actually had quit therapy a couple months back, because I thought I was doing good in my healing journey, I thought everything was fine. I thought, at least that I had the correct tools in my toolkit from therapy to handle everything. And this week just proved differently. A lot of things happened, I have really still not honed in my fear of disappointment, my abandonment issues, my attachment issues, and things like that. And that stuff that I hadn't dived in with my therapist yet. So on Saturday, I reached back out to my therapist, and here we are not even 24 hours later, coming off a holiday weekend. I'm getting back in touch with her and I'm starting therapy again, it just shows that I really, really need that support. And that's exactly why better help is my sponsor, if you guys think you might need to see a therapist better help is amazing. They are online, you can do it from the comfort of your own home, you have the options to message them, you can do a phone call, you can do a video chat, whatever you feel comfortable with doing, they have several different types of therapists, if you need couples, or for marriage and family therapy, it's also available to individuals worldwide, better help is a monthly subscription. So you're not paying per session, and financial aid is available for those who qualify. So visit better help.com/bright side of life, that's better help.com/bright side of life, join over 500,000 people taking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional. And for your first month, you're going to receive 10% off by being a listener of the bright side of life. So let them know that I sent you by using the link better help.com forward slash Bright Side of Life, the link will also be in the description section of this episode.

Carrie R: 32:27

Yes, when you're already the tallest girl in the class, which you can relate to.

Melissa Bright: 32:30

Yes, yes, yes. Maybe you will have a school?

Carrie R: 32:34

Yeah, that's what I was gonna say. Do I have to be the tallest person in the whole building? Yeah,

Melissa Bright: 32:38

yep. Exactly. So I just think it's awesome, where people may have never have tried anything to process feelings or get these emotions out. And and the tapping can just absolutely. Do that. So did you have anything to add to that? Sorry?

Carrie R: 33:00

Well, I was gonna say with with little kids, they process it with their little child brain. And so they'll put it in a place that says, Oh, my gosh, mom and dad are fighting, therefore I must be bad. Yeah, now as at our ages, we might not do that. Or we might, but we'd be less likely to. And that's where it gets stuck. And so that and what happens is it tends to grow and grow and grow. They'll have something else happens. Oh, that confirms it. And something else happens in that. And then it's just deeper and deeper. And and for people who are listening, you might think, Oh, well, I don't know where it started. And that's fine. Because in a tapping session, you can start with something really general like anxiety. And once you clear that doubts, so that you can, you know, ask questions and things. It is amazing what comes up what's revealed to work on. So you don't have to have all the everything exactly where even start.

Melissa Bright: 34:00

Exactly. And that's often a lot of people sometimes don't have these memories because they have blocked them out not even realizing that they've they've blocked them out because they were hurtful. And just to say you know the stuff when you are a little kid that literally is what your brain is doing. They don't know. I think I'm using the right word. They don't know nuances. They just know if some if my parents did something, it's all my fault. If they got divorced. It's because of me. If they are angry, it's because of me if I'm going to daycare, they might not want to spend time with me. You think everything is your fault. And then you can hold on to that for very, very, very, very long.

Carrie R: 34:45

Yeah, it's never too late.

Melissa Bright: 34:47

Oh, no. It is not. Okay. So let's get into some specifics about tapping. I'm sure people are not like okay, you've talked all about it. Okay, so First, can you tell me? Where are the places on your body that you tap? In? What are they? Like you said under your eye is related to your stomach? So what are those kinds of words? What are they help,

Carrie R: 35:14

okay? Or what are they? That we don't, we don't really need to know what they all correspond to. Because I don't want people to think, oh, I have to remember, because you're going to cover all of them, you know, in the basic recipe, so you know, but, but yes, we'll talk about the point. So all the setup statements, and how the setup statements is, is, even though I have this emotion, disappointment, anxiety, grief, fear, anger, you know, even though I have this, I'm okay. And you do that three times. And so that would be the very basic recipe, and during that time, you're tapping on the side of your hand, the karate chop side of your hand, so the outside of your hand, with your other hand, you can do either hand doesn't matter. And you're tapping through that whole time. And then the rest of the points are reminder statements. So let's say disappointment. And so in the first point is where your eyebrow starts your inner eyebrows, so that inner eye point on either side with either hand, you can do both if you want to, but you don't have to. So inside of the eye, that the outside of the eye is outside of the brow bone, like between the brow and the your temple right there, the brow bone, under your eye on your cheek, and I'm tapping you if you can hear me, I don't know if you can hear me, I just do it automatically, under the nose is between your nose and your upper lip, under the nose, under the lip is just like right above your chin there. The collarbone point is you find your collarbones on either side, and you go down a little. And there's some people have like a divot there. If you use four fingers, you won't miss it. Yeah, then under the arm is about four inches under the arm, you could do same arm, same side, or you can cross over either way. And then the top of the head is the crown of your head, then the top and the back. So top of your head. Yeah. And that's the recipe.

Melissa Bright: 37:15

I forgot about some of those.

Carrie R: 37:18

Well, I have a cheat sheet on my on my website under resources too. So that's there too, and it tells you how to set it up. And before you even start, you'll want to tune it in, tune into it. So you feel the emotion of it again. And then you you I recommend taking notes, writing it down. Because sometimes you will bring that emotion down so quickly. You won't even believe it. But if it's on paper, oh, I said I was disappointed at a nine. And now I don't even feel it what's happening. And and it's good to have that documented.

Melissa Bright: 37:54

Yeah, absolutely. Which is what you did for me. And we're going to kind of do like a little walkthrough session. So people like definitely understand what this is. I wanted to ask you to, I wanted you to talk about a little bit about your nonprofit, which is called discover and serve. So what made you want to start it what is it all about? And what do you do?

Carrie R: 38:22

Well, I set up discovering serve, and the website is discover and serve calm along with my sister and one of my daughters and we I just had a vision for providing prayerful tapping to people who can't afford it. People can donate if they like if they wish. And in the beginning really my vision was a very big I didn't know that that I was going to have recordings of tapping sessions there. Now there are 20 Real sessions that I do with my friend Aaron Lyneham who is amazing and she's also worked with my coach and and so we were feeling it you can tell when you're watching that we're feeling those emotions that we get to actual resolution. So I didn't I didn't really have that event but I thought initially I was starting it because I would have a camp someday like a retreat for grieving families. And then I thought well then I maybe we could do like all kinds of different practitioners you know, massage therapist, reflexologist therapist, you know me for EFT and, and lots of other providers and just having a waist is for people who are dealing with anxiety. Yeah, and honestly, the last couple like who isn't dealing with anxiety? You're gonna have the whole world at your retreat. So the retreat, the retreat hasn't happened yet. I think I need to, well, I know I need to find People who understand about putting on events more than I do, but we, you know, we've been able to provide services and those resources it also, I also have the podcast. That was an offshoot of that. And the podcast is called the blankie. blog, you can find it at the blankie dot blog, you can go to discover and serve and find it there. But the premise of that is that lullabies are not just for babies, and everyone can use a soothing word. And so yeah, there are 42 of those as well.

Melissa Bright: 40:36

Yes, I listened to some They're awesome.

Carrie R: 40:39

Oh, thank you. Can you imagine I'm singing on a podcast now.

Melissa Bright: 40:45

I know. It is so awesome. Thank you. So question for you about your, your videos that you do with your friend, Erin. So that is for people to watch. I guess my question is, if they aren't necessarily going through the emotions that you do on there, what could it still benefit them? Or can you kind of explain? Who would who should watch those videos?

Carrie R: 41:13

That is a great question. I would recommend watching the in the intro first or or listening to us. This is a great intro to and it almost doesn't matter. I mean, it does, because, but what people tend to find is if they're watching the decider, disappointment video, they might be able to think of something that comes up. That evokes a lot of disappointment. And we are cut, we're impersonally personal enough that you can insert your your manifestation of disappointment. You can put that in there. And yeah, I've had people say, Oh, I watched every one of them. And I'll watch them again. And now I know the Go twos for different emotions. But again, it almost didn't matter. Right?

Melissa Bright: 42:05

Yeah. Okay, that makes sense that because you're right Mote, most people have experienced those sadness, disappointment, anger, you know, and they can think back to a time. So that makes that makes sense for sure. Now, besides the videos, you do you do individual tapping services? I do.

Carrie R: 42:29

Yes. Yes. Okay. And Panda, let's see, um, when you asked me, in fact, so I on a limited basis, I don't earn a living from this. My other my other avocation and passion pays for all of this, but and the when you initially asked me to be on this podcast, my initial response was to say no. Because I've and I real, because I thought, Oh, I have to throw, you know, there'll be too much. There'll be too much interest in though, really carry, you're going to shut the floodgates before one drop of rain falls. And so I realized I still had some level, even though I'm very successful, I still have a level of fear of success. And it didn't take me long, though. I think kind of in the next breath. I said, Oh, yeah, yes, please. But it's, I recommend people just reach out to me and I, I do it as I can, but I get referrals. And right. So don't say no, but

Melissa Bright: 43:44

Right. Yeah. And I appreciate your honesty and your transparency. I have done the same thing. As you right there. I say no to stuff because I you know, my mind jumps 20 steps ahead, where it's just mostly just just start there. We don't know anything that's going to happen. Yeah. So I know all about that way too much. And Brandon will just say, Melissa, like, just back it up a little bit. It's fine. It's fine. But I've been there. So I definitely understand, but love

Carrie R: 44:20

for people to have an opportunity to have one on one. And there are a lot of wonderful practitioners in places you can find them or you can contact me but then they it just gives them some guidance, because what we'll do, you know, I was thinking we could tap on a deep breath. Sounds kind of weird, but that is it is I've used that often to give people an experience because most people breathe very shallowly. Yeah, and it's and they related to anxiety, or they don't they're not mindful of deep breaths. They So I thought maybe we could do a little tapping on. Cuz feeling constricted?

Melissa Bright: 45:07

I think that is a great idea. Okay, before we start that I'm going to make that be our be our last thing that I wanted to ask you. So if somebody did want to contact you personally, maybe they did want to do a one on one session, should they just go directly to your nonprofit website?

Carrie R: 45:27

Yes, yes. There's a way to contact me through there. Yes. Okay. And what are they can website again? Sorry, discover and serve calm? And and is spelled out, discover and serve calm?

Melissa Bright: 45:40

Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Okay, I'm looking through some of my questions to make sure. I didn't miss anything. Is there anything else that you would like to add before we start our session? For the tapping?

Carrie R: 45:58

Yes. Yes. Now let you ask. I love this. I love this saying by Brad Yates, who has hundreds thout No, he has 1000s of tap alongs on its him, and then you you know, he gives you time to repeat after him. And so he says that tapping is like your daily emotional hygiene. You don't have to wait till there's something big. You can you can, you know, tap every day as a as a daily practice. And some days I will start and I'll be tapping on the side of my hand. And I'll say, even though I have no idea what I'm tapping about today, I'm okay. Even though I have no idea. Oh, it then something will come up. And then I will address that specifically. But I just love that philosophy. Yes. Why wait till something big?

Melissa Bright: 46:57

Yeah, exactly. Because there's probably some kind of emotion that's in you. And like you said, there's one that can come up or it can prepare you for the day? Yes, I love that. I love that. I love that. Um, okay. I'm going to wait for my very last question at towards the end. So like I said, we're going to do this session. And I'm actually going to invite you guys, the listeners to join along in this. So long as they're driving unless you're driving. Exactly. That's what I always say, unless you're driving. Don't do that. But literally, Carrie and I are just sitting here in our chairs. That's what we're going to be doing. And I'm going to let Carrie take over from here. And she's going to walk us through all of this stuff.

Carrie R: 47:49

Okay. Amazing. So, I call my practice prayerful tapping. And so what I actually did, I don't know, you know, you're listening. I usually start with a generic type of prayer. Is it okay to do that? Or I also, okay, yep. Okay, so, dear God Almighty. I don't know who's listening. I know, Melissa is right here. And I know you know who's listening. So whatever might be needed today. I hope that this little demonstration can be at just a pique interest or really serve somebody to soothe their anxiety and just lift up all these prayers. In Your name. Amen. Amen. Okay. So I want you to take a deep breath and pay attention to how it compares to the deepest breath you ever took. So take a deep breath. So out of 10, let's say, how should we do the numbers? out of 10 being the deepest breath you ever took? How deep would you say this breath is?

Melissa Bright: 49:06

I'll just ask you about what? Yeah, I'm gonna say that one was about a six. I could probably have gone more.

Carrie R: 49:12

Okay. Okay. Yeah. And I just would suggest that everybody really pay attention. And you might say 10, that is as deep breath as I could possibly take and that's fine. Whatever your number don't overthink that number. Just whatever pops in your head. That's the right answer. Okay, so we are going to tap on the constrictions. So they'll will have a four constriction, right, because you're six out of 10. So it's a four constriction, okay. So on the side of the hand on the karate chop, side of your hand, repeat after me, even though I have this constriction.

Melissa Bright: 49:55

Even though I have this constriction it's not the deepest breath I could take, it's not the deepest breath. I could take. I'm okay. I'm okay.

Carrie R: 50:07

Still tapping on the side of the hand even though I have this constriction.

Melissa Bright: 50:11

Even though I have this constriction,

Carrie R: 50:14

my lungs are not completely filling up.

Melissa Bright: 50:17

My lungs are not completely filling up. I'm okay. I'm okay.

Carrie R: 50:22

Even though I have this construct constriction in my breath,

Melissa Bright: 50:26

even though I have this constriction in my breath, I'm okay. I'm okay.

Carrie R: 50:31

Okay, we're going to go to the reminder, we're just going to do the basic recipe where we'll say constriction, so inside of the eye, constriction, constriction, brow bone, this constriction, this constriction under the eye, this constriction, this constriction onto the nose, my breath is constricted, my breath is constricted under the lip. This constriction, this constriction, collarbone, my breath is constricted. My breath is constricted under the arm, constricted, constricted, top of the head, constricted, constricted. Okay, now let's relax and take a deep breath again and see if there's any change.

Melissa Bright: 51:36

Oh, yeah, I'm like, Oh, I'm gonna go for I think it's a 909.

Carrie R: 51:42

Wow, okay. Yeah, that's, that's a big change. Now, if somebody out there, their number when they like they're more constricted. That's okay. Don't worry about it. Sometimes it'll it'll move around before it resolves. So that was a basic recipe, and you could see what, where you could teach a child, you know, they're tapping on the side of their hand. You know, even though I'm mad, I'm a good boy. Even though I'm mad, you know, just in whatever, I'm mad. I'm mad around the points. So we've set up this constriction, so I would like to resolve that a little bit more go a little deeper. We've already set it up on the side of the hand, so we don't need to do that setup anymore. We'll go to the inside the eye point and I'll develop it a little more. This breath constriction,

Melissa Bright: 52:28

this breath constriction. browbone. I wonder why. I wonder why. Under the eye, am I trapping some anxiety? Am I trapping some anxiety? Under the nose? Am I nervous about something? Am I nervous about something under the lip,

Carrie R: 52:48

I'm open to a complete deep breath.

Melissa Bright: 52:51

I am open to a complete deep breath.

Carrie R: 52:54

Collarbone, I would enjoy a complete deep breath.

Melissa Bright: 52:59

I would enjoy a complete deep breath

Carrie R: 53:02

under the arm. I am open to a deep breath.

Melissa Bright: 53:07

I am open to a deep breath.

Carrie R: 53:09

Top of the head. I choose my deepest breath.

Melissa Bright: 53:14

I choose my deepest breath.

Carrie R: 53:18

Oh, that felt good. Okay, I'm taking another breath. Okay.

Melissa Bright: 53:31

What do you think that was? Uh, that was a deep one. I think that was like 10 For sure. That was a good one. That was a good one.

Carrie R: 53:40

And it's amazing. Oftentimes, people will say, Oh, I'm already at a 10. And then they'll say, Oh, I must be at a 12 or something. Because all of a sudden, I have more lung capacity. Yeah, it's it's a physiological example. Of, of constriction. And we don't have to get at the heart of, of what that anxiety is. And that's one. One thing that really sets it apart from therapy, as you noticed, you didn't have to give me a lot of detail. It would be it would the important thing was to name what we're working on that time when he said whatever. Yeah, and I felt this and then identify those feelings, get the intensity for each one and then go through each one of those feelings. But it isn't like reliving. Right? And especially with trauma. We want to sometimes a lot of emotion does come up. Right? But I never leave people in a state where their trauma you know, that gets resolved really fast. And so I will tell people sometimes if they're crying, as long as they can keep tapping, even if you can't speak and repeat after me Just keep going, keep tapping to calm down your nervous system. And then we can have a conversation about what was that that set you off for? Are you okay? Now with that?

Melissa Bright: 55:12

Yeah, I love it. I love it. It's so I'm just so happy that we we met again, I'm so happy that you messaged me to have me try it. I think it's awesome. You know, on my my session that we did, I got emotional. For my listeners, you guys know a lot of my stuff comes around, you know, my dad, but then also losing my mom. So a lot of the stuff that Carrie and I did was to work around the dad's stuff, which was beautiful. I have no other way of describing it. It was beautiful. forgave him for a lot of stuff, which I was in the process of doing. But I really feel like that was like, really a lot of forgiveness and closure there. So I think you guys should go check out Karis website, look at the videos, if you're like, What the heck, what did what does it look like they're doing? Go look at those videos. Carrie, do you have anything else you want to add? Before I ask you? The one most famous question.

Carrie R: 56:24

Oh, I would just I would just encourage people to be open about this. And you can do it in the privacy of your own home. I think watching the videos and having guidance, you know, the first few times, get it getting some just maybe be open to it. And all of the other great tools that you bring up on the on this, this podcast is so wonderful, you're doing such a great service. I thank you so much, Melissa.

Melissa Bright: 56:54

Thank you. And something that you just said before you just said now I think is is important is that you can do this in the privacy of your home. And if there's something that might be bothering you that you can't yet admit to people, like maybe you have something going on an argument with your wife and you know that you might have messed up but you don't know how to admit that and you feel guilty. That's okay. You just tell yourself like what you're trying to get rid of. And if it's if it's guilt or whatever, you don't gotta go tell everybody this can be something that you work through, personally, yourself. So I like how you brought that up.

Carrie R: 57:32

Yes. And if it's something where you're working, this does not take the place of working with a counselor, a therapist, psychologist, psychiatrist, this does not take the place of that. But it's something that you can you know, that you can do on your own?

Melissa Bright: 57:47

In addition to Absolutely, yes. Alright, carry in your own words. What does the bright side of life mean to you?

Carrie R: 58:01

Hmm, it's it is that abundance and that potential that we can decide to walk in? It is the joy and the perspective and just caring about people first assuming the best about people's intentions first. I think that changes everything just like your boyfriend said. And and realize that you know, you're not you're not broken. You're not. You're not You're not different from other people. We have struggles some people just hide it better. And and having that compassion to me that is bringing light into the world and light upon ourselves. And and yeah, that's the bright side.

Melissa Bright: 58:53

I love it. Wonderful answer. Wonderful answer. Well, Carrie, thank you again, so much for coming on here to share all of your wonderful knowledge about tapping. You guys need to go check out her website. She's amazing. It was awesome. Prayerful tapping Carrie. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, everyone for listening to this week's episode of The Bright Side of Life. I hope you guys enjoyed all of Kerry's information and her story. And I think if you guys did not try out the tapping today that we did to look up her website, and to see all the wonderful videos that she has. I definitely enjoyed it and just see what it can do and maybe it can help you out. And of course guys, if you have not yet subscribed to The Bright Side of Life podcast, be sure to do so. And if you would like to sign up for emails to get other goodies in your inbox, you can do so at the bright side of life. podcast.com And as always, if you know anyone that may need to hear Kerry story, please share it with them because we never know If this is the one that puts hope back in their heart